I learned yesterday of the unfortunate incident that Tonto’s video for Hi is out. I saw it on a few blogs, and I skipped right past it. First of all, watching the video would be a complete waste of my time. Secondly, I knew that watching the video would cause a blog post – and not a nice one. So I decided not to watch it. You guys have no idea the kind of restraint I have to exercise on this blog and Twitter.
Nigerian people just like dashing me material. Like that time Omotola sent a tweet to “advise” Kim Kardashian to have PR in Nigeria. Kim Kardashian to have PR in Nigeria??? Even if Kim Kardashian did in fact send that tweet (and even sent more sef), it won’t stop anyone from bringing her from Nigeria again. Plus, Nigerian celebs barely have PR. They have something they call PR, but something ain’t right. Naturally, all I could think after reading the advisory tweet was
Bitch please
But I digress.
Back to Tonto. Funmie called me last night to ask if I had seen the video, and would I blog about it? The answer was No on both counts. Then she told me she fell asleep watching it, and that I should watch it, especially the Illuminati part. So well, that got my attention. Still, I refused. I fought off the temptation. I said to the devil, get thee away from me, Satan, for a girl shall not always blog to point out stupidity; she shall also blog about other things.
But Funmie said, “It’s right in the beginning, just a few seconds in. You don’t even have to watch the entire video.” Well, then, this changes everything. So here I am this morning. Blogging.
I have watched the video – 47 seconds of it, and I have gotten what I came for. She does have some Illuminati-symbol-looking thing in her video, and it’s all kinds of obvious. I think she’s just tryna press our buttons because she knows that people like this Vera girl who just have to share their opinions will blog about it. So here I am this morning. Blogging.
Tonto’s alleged Illuminati
However, I am not here to call her a devil or a slut like so many other people have been doing. I ain’t about that life. But I don’t think she’s Illuminati either, and I have proof. After comparing Tonto to the other alleged Illuminati members, I have disqualified her Illuminati membership for the following reasons which are inconsistent with other alleged members.
1. She’s not talented [Please see Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Madonna, etc]
2. She’s not a dollar millionaire [Please revisit the people mentioned in number 1]
Soo … that’s all (in my Oga at the top voice)
If Tonto really is part of the Illuminati, she needs to sue them for selling her short. And if you’re interested, the video is below. And yes, of course, this video, too, gets a certified Bitch, Please.
P.S. On that note, I have some very big news to announce on this blog in the next few days, hopefully this week — once I get myself to type that post.
Tonto is irrelevant, her music career is imaginary like the ummm…illuminati
LOL. I, too, think the Illuminati is imaginary. All these triangles are ridiculous.
I don’t know why this gal must keep tormenting our eyes and ears….sing she casin’t fit , now to shoot the video abi is it record video ni, I just don’t gerrit …..she should just go sit somewhere ….infact d babalawo didn’t do the juju well for her..she should ask for a refund
Sykik, true, true. I can’t even say how good or bad the video is because I only watched a few seconds of it. Her singing though … O_O
I don’t know why this gal must keep tormenting our eyes and ears….sing she casin’t fit , now to shoot the video abi is it record video ni, I just don’t gerrit …..she should just go sit somewhere ….infact d babalawo didn’t do the juju well for her..she should ask for a refund.
Are you announcing the wedding date?
LOLOLOLOLOL @ infact d babalawo didn’t do the juju well for her..she should ask for a refund.
I can’t get over that sentence. LMBO
Bike, it’s true now. They really didn’t do a good job. LOL.
Sykik, I will definitely announce the wedding date soon as I have one, promise. You guys are my family oh, whether you know it or not.
after watching the full 3:49mins of the video (as i’m not a hater like all of you), all I have to say is
hiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohio
hiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohio
hiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohio {i cant stop}
hiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohiohio
…daz all {hisses and gets back to work}
Hahahaha @ not being a hater. Well, I hope it was worth your 3.49 minutes, time you could have used to buy me a pair of shoes online. Just saying.
Seriously I couldn’t finish the video, my eyes hurts so bad.
****WARNING******
If you’re epileptic, I’ll advice not to dare watch it if you really don’t want an episode.
Okpari.
Oh, you didn’t finish it? LOL. Well, thanks for your warning.
Omotola told Kim K to get her PR people to work on her PR in naija not to get them into Naija. As for Tonto no words that is all.
http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2013/03/kim-kardashian-finally-reacts-to-fake.html#more
I know what she said. My point is that Kim doesn’t need her PR doing any kinda work in Nigeria, no matter how populous it is. Reason being, even if Kim is characterized as the wicked witch of Imo State, someone will still pay for her to come, and people will still go to see her (and pay to see her). The Nigerian celebs IN Nigeria don’t even have PR working for/on them in Nigeria, so why should Kim care?
yo!!!
I sincerely dozed off watching this stuff…
it wasn’t intentional ooo and this isn’t made up i swear…
as in i woke up, and i was laughing so so hard … I slept off in the “middle” of a premiere of a music video
Fufu, you need to watch it again. Maybe you can even be a part of the next video.
May God forgive you Vera, lol! On a side note I think you went easy on her though. In fact, I don’t know whether to commend you for not bashing her or laugh because you just dissed her! You’re one funny woman 😀
Worship and Swag, ah, I don’t want people to say that I’m “hating” on her. LOL. You know whenever you say something that is the truth, it means you’re hating. But err, feel free to commend me. 😉
How does she(Tontoh) sleep at night?????
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