Funny Archives - Page 48 of 51

September 19, 2008

He Had Me @ Hello

On Wednesday, I went to Sam's Club to buy some stuff. My intention was to pay cash for some stuff, and then pay with my card for the rest because I needed change to go to the African Store, and I don't like paying with card @ the African store. No, I don't trust my own people. Sad, I know.Anyway, I was in line, very distracted, thinking about God-knows-what. Prior to it being my turn to pay, I had everything figured out. I knew exactly what items I was going to pay for with cash and what Read More

August 4, 2008

Why NOT To Chill In A Public Restroom

Techinically, I wasn't chilling. I went in there for a reason. Heaven knows that I only pee in a public restroom when I have to, so I definitely will not be going in there to chill. What the puck! Yes, I said 'puck'. I learnt it from Funmi's three year old baby who said, 'what the puck?' I thought it was so cute, so now I say it every now & then. Well, I don't mean cute as in awwww, she said her first f-word, but cute as in awww, she mispronounced it. Okay, obviously, there is no way for me Read More

July 1, 2008

God Has A Crazy Sense Of Humor

Saturday: I attended a fab wedding @ Sheraton Hotel. I wore a burgandy evening gown. Hair done - almost, make-up flawless - I think, and feet hurting - definitely. The wedding was nice. Food was nicer. The music was the nicest. My mother was one of the people on the "high table." So there I was standing in front of the high table talking to my mom when one of the men on the high table interrupted my conversation with my mom.Him: Hello, my dear, what is your name?Me: VeraHim: And how old is Read More

June 21, 2008

Robbin’ Da Cradle

Ah, my life. So here is what happened to me yesterday.I was jejely sitting at a table in the public library, my laptop on and running with my online class displayed. I was supposed to be studying, but I was engrossed in my favorite author, Eric Jerome Dickey's book, PLEASURE, a book that had way more sex plots than I cared for.As with every other good novel I have read, I was totally, unashamedly into the book, oblivious of my surrounding and the pair of eyes that had been watching me. But he Read More

June 12, 2008

Priceless!

His Versace sunglasses ------- $200His 2008 Acura RL ----------$46, 280His colgate smile -------------$1, 000, 000The blush on my cheeks when I caught him staring @ me ---- $9.99 (from Revlon)The look on my face when I realized that he was a she ------- PRICELESS!!!There are somethings in life that money can't buy. For everything else, there is Mastercard...to buy medicated glasses, so I can better differentiate between men & women.This is a true life story...unfortunately Read More

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