On Wednesday, I went to Sam’s Club to buy some stuff. My intention was to pay cash for some stuff, and then pay with my card for the rest because I needed change to go to the African Store, and I don’t like paying with card @ the African store. No, I don’t trust my own people. Sad, I know.
Anyway, I was in line, very distracted, thinking about God-knows-what. Prior to it being my turn to pay, I had everything figured out. I knew exactly what items I was going to pay for with cash and what items I was gonna pay for with my card. It got to my turn, I offloaded my items from my cart, and then the cashier said, “Hello, how are you doing today?” Kai! My people, that was how this boy just scattered my brain. He even had the balls to expose his white set of teeth and show me his beaurriful smile. It didn’t help that his voice was nice too. Yes, I have a male-voice fetish.
All the time I had been standing in line, I had not realized just how fine the cashier was. If I had, I would have switched lanes with immediate alacrity. Why? Fine boys confuse me. They disrupt me. They discombobulate me. I don’t stand and stare or gawk at them, so it’s not like they make me walk into poles or something (na jazz?!). It’s more of a mental thing. I’m usually organized (even mentally. I mean, I arrange my thoughts too!). Fine boys just throw me off and make me forget what I was doing/thinking. They spoil things. They wreck my mind. They make a total mess of my mental plans. They — well, you get the idea.
All this boy had to say was, ‘hello,’ and next thing I knew, I was sliding my card and paying for everything. As I was signing for my transaction, I was thinking to myself, ‘You big dummy, you weren’t supposed to put everything on your card.’ Funny thing is, I’m not someone who is so big on looks when it comes to dating. I mean, I cannot define physical beauty to you. I tend to fall for other things like the voice, the crazy sense of humor, playfulness, intelligence, not being into parties (or at least being partied out)…etc. I mean, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? I’m usually the one who says a guy is fine and then friends are looking @ me like I’ve lost my good sense. So yeah, other things attract me first, I think.
As if that was not bad enough, the boy even smiled at me when I was leaving and told me to have a nice day. Nice day, my foot! lol. Okay, obviously, he was only doing his job, but I needed him to not do it so well. It was messing with my psychology. Fine boys are a distraction for real. I suddenly feel like writing an entire article about what I want from my husband. Hmmmm. Interesting.
Note to my future husband: Don’t be threatened by this admission. I might space out of our conversation for a few seconds (minutes) when a fine boy is passing, but it will never, ever change how I feel about you.
would he have had u if he said “Nne werrin appen, I’ma check you out lara”?
you are falling for fine cashier boys abi?
yeah, looks don’t trip me as much as other things. i was meaning to write a post on that.
All the guys I’ve dated, I dont think i dated one because of their looks, I’ve even had a crush on a fugly one!
..and I’m Furstttttttttt!
Naapali, that is just WRONG!!!!
go to bed!!! jeez! you can’t just be ruining somebody’s moment! *pouting*
Naapali: No, he definitely wouldn’t have had me if he had said that. That would have automatically covered the fineness. Awww, you took away Bumight’a joy. She thought she was first. Poor Bumight.
Bumight: Yeah, looks are just not the biggest thing jare. I dunno about having a crush on a fugly one lol, but I definitely see where you’re coming from, obviously. Don’t mind Naapali. She will pay 4 this!
Ooops, I thought Naapali was a girl. lol. I’m sorry, Naapali. lol. Take it as a compliment. You’re just too fine, that’s why (dang, I just rhymed)
See thie pple oh, una no dey sleep? Night never reach for maryland, eh Vera! Let me go and read this post even though i’m sleepy. See the sacrifices i make for u?!!!!
See wetin fine boy do u Vera. Dem dey see like that.
im the same way
re: african store and looks.
but i dont think a guy can scatter me to the point that id be messing up my finances…
Sting: My dear, na so fine boy just dey take my brain dey play with am like say e be nothing. He carry me dey play oh. Anyway, the sacrifices you make for me are your way of showing how much you care. Accept it jo
Diamond: lol. Kai, see as African people just dey misyarn, dey misquote me. Madam Diamond, did I tell you he messed up my finances? lol. I merely said I used a different method of payment. No vex me oh!
Umm Number 10 is not bad. (sobs uncontrollably). sorry boss una no fire me, I have 5 mouth to feed and my husband no get job o, I beg oga, no fire me o. Hehehe. I will go read now.
Oh my gosh. I thought it was just me. My boyfriend actually thought I was shy the day we met, Cuz I couldnt talk, he has since changed his mind.
On a side note though, were u actually born in Russia??? been meaning to ask.
Hmmmm…where did that word “discombobulate” come from…it actually turned me upside down for a split moment…
How I so wish it was my account you were sliding ur card through…
Lovely, humorous post…as usual..
vera, u r hilarious! oh ma gosh, u crack me up completely! *doing my best gay gesture*
i can totally understand where u r coming 4rm, love. i've been there – severally. i've a weakness 4 find boys, but i just don't date dem 4 reasons i can't explain. dia was dis correct wohwoh dude i was dating one time (& i loved him die oh), but na so bobo go dey catch me where i dey sneak looks @ fine boys. it got so bad dat he developed a coping mechanism. weneva he sees a cutie, he'd turn 2 me & go 'u've seen wot u like?'. we'd laugh abt it, but i always wondered if it made him insecure
LOL
Hopefully this will not mean you will be now making hourly trips to Sam’s Club lol
You should have asked for his number and said you needed it just in case you wanted to ask questions about store opening hours or special offers lol
na wa oh!
and he wasnt even toasting you! you shoulda walked into the same wall you wanted me to face! nonsensical verastica.
geisha.song.
Lol…I don’t pay with card in any African or Asian store either…especially the Asian stires.
Lmao @ having a nice…it was just customer rep darling…not to be confused with…I wish I could spend the day with u…
It better not, regarding not to future husband. I can see someone had a late night.. never knew people are still up in your neck of the wood, and im supposed to be 6hrs in front.lol.. Make sure you have a super weekend.
Noted! I mean the caveat.
Only if you knew who this is.
hehehehe…nawa o..Rita we are in the same shoes o…i had to go and check the meaning of discombobulate. (aloted’s big word for the day) hehehehe
@vera I know what u mean about the fine boy syndrome…i watched “The Best Man” more than once just to check out the fine loooooking men in the movie..lol..but like u…i scope from a distance.
gosh, i’ve got a serious male-voice fetish too!!!!!!!
lmao! i can only just imagine..but dang, he must have been really somn for u to have paid for everythin with ur card! hahahaha!
it happened to me once, dude was just plain gorgeous! i wud normally not start a conversation, im really shy, but dude just got me talkin! we talked for like 5mins..i ddnt wanna go 🙁
Babe, they do that to our pumping heart, well am happy you did not overspend because of looks o.
Haba, please don’t space out conversations with hubby o, you no go rest o, men bring up what happened in 1975 and years past….
Lol @ Naapali’s ‘NNe, werrin appen, I’m a Check you out lara’ Thought Bumight was the only doctor with a sense of humour.
Anyway, I have sent the CIA, FBI, SWAT and all of them out to exterminate all the fine boys in your state. I dont like competition.
Temite: LOL. It’s because of people like you that I always say I was not the result of a broken condom. Yes oh, I was born in Russia, and no, I was not a mistake. lol. Boyfie don change mind about your shyness ehn? lol. Don’t worry about being number 10; it isn’t so bad!
Rita: I dunno where the word came form. I think it was the finess of the boy that brought it up. lol. All I know is that they confuse me, and I don’t like being confused, darn it!
Florida: LOL. Hahahaha. Dis gal, you be bad gal for real. I don’t date fine boys either (not that they’re chasing me down and seeking my hand in a relationship anyway). But dem just dey confuse pesin abeg. They’ll make me say yes when I mean no. lol.
Miss Definitely Maybe: Buhahahaha. That’s very funny. Do you know how pathetic I woulda looked? lol. Asked for his number for store hours ke (even though it’s posted right outside the door…and I can call the number on the receipt)? lol. U gat jokes. Na me you wan shame for inside Sam’s Club abi?
Geisha.Song: lol. I see you’re vexing because I merely suggested a little punishment for you ehn? lol. Why the anger, my love? Hahahaha. Shebi na because I no suggest frog jump?
Afrobabe: That’s easy for you to say. I know he was doing his job, but like I said, I needed him to not do it so well. Which kin nice day (and with a smile sef)?? I wanna spend the day with you too. We shuld totally go on a date. lol.
Life of a Stranger: I always have a late night, my love. I just don’t know why. Everyday, I plan to go to bed early, but somehow, I end up going to bed @ 2am or 3am. lol @ the future husband statement.
Anonymous: That is sooooo not fair. Reveal yourself, haba!
Aloted: Ah, yes ke. I wanna see them in movies and stuff. A seriously fine boy next to me will make me sweat in places I didn’t know I could sweat. Abeg, I no fit.
Buttercup: You talked????? I will never ever talk. I’m not a shy person oh, but as soon as a fine boy is involved, forget it. I become tongue-tied. I’ll start stuttering sef. But the voice thing…kai! I can’t get enough
Laughter: LOL. Is he (my husband) going to say he doesn’t look @ gals too? After all, I’m just admiring the handwork of God. He should understand jo. lol. If he brings up 1975. I, in turn, shall bring up 1974. Year pass year, abi? lol
Naijaleta: lol. You did what? To all of them? Haba! LOL. Hahaha. I’m actually picturing it in my head. That would be crazy funny if that were to happen. But Naijaleta, you sef, you know you’re the finest of them all. So no competition whatsoever!!!
The title of this post is perfect.
I’ve said for years that I’m totally intimidated by hotness: it makes me uncomfortable and flustered so I try to avoid it entirely. Like you, I’m usually the girl who says that the nice guy who’s got a silly sense of humour is attractive and then my friends tell me he’s a minus 12 out of 10 (true story!).
lol @ naapali!
dnt trust ur own ppl? its okay, i dnt either!
Gurl…fine boys make you walk into doors oh. Especially the younger ones…fresh meat, ya know. I like pretty boys too but they tend to be like accessories.
Good Naija Girl: Abi oh. They really do make me uncomfortable. It’s like, ‘jeez, you’re too fine; what is wrong with you?!’ lol. It’s just wrong and uncalled for. Hahaha.
Just…Toluwa: Yes oh. I usually feel guilty that I don’t, but mennnnn, I know where I came from, and I know what we are capable of, and I am just not in the mood to give ‘us’ the benefit of doubt. Lai lai…not when it comes to my money biko. It’s not like I have a lot of it sef.
Rosie: I’m sure that a fine boy can make me walk into a door. I just haven’t experienced that yet. But I would certainly love to. lol @ them being like accessories. Fresh meat? So wrong! lol
The funniest part was the little note you wrote to your future husband…
Veraaaaaa…lol.
Lollll @ Naapali…nna werren appen? Yepa, my tummy.
I’m with Rita…hey Vera, slide your card into my account right now. Wait, let me bring mr. Fine cashier first, so that u won’t have to think….
Muhaha!
ps: yeah, fine boys make us do stuff…guilty!
Vera… you are at a very ripe age for marriage oooo and a boy…chei not even a man… tryna to make ends meet by working at ur local Sam’s club……CANNOT/ WILL NOT /SHALL NOT/ISN’T CAPABLE OF BUYING UR RING….talk less of affording ur Range Rover, so my dear…….RETHINK.
Jaycee: Babe, I had to include the note to my husband now. I don’t want him thinking that a fine boy will make me change my mind about him. That will not happen. Look, you can bring all the fine cashier boys you want oh; me I don’t even have money in the account to slide sef, so you better hold yourself young woman. LOL.
Funmie: I am in a very, very good mood today. That is why I will not send fire and brimstone after you. lol. You’re trying to get me in trouble on my blog abi? You want me 2 say something here, but you will not get me, Funmie. You can never, ever get me!
Vera, you have a reputation of chasing pple a.k.a men that can afford you, so my love a Cashier (boy) ain’t no good…….ahahahahahahahahahhaha.
Vera, am actually tryna imagine you n d boi dating and u dropping him off at wrk….bauauahahahahahaa
enjoyed this piece, aint nothing wrong talking about a lil crush
Funmie: Get thee behind me. You cannot get me 2 say anything oh. You simply cannot!!
Jaguda: No crush oh. I was just admiring the handwork of God.
CASHIER! CREDIT! VOICE! wat if it was a telemarketer? abeg answer and if u wanna know wat he is trying to sell u. let me know i’ll be back.
im back blogging are u now stastistfied! green eyed russian ibo girl oshi. if u must know i called u all those just for JUST BECAUSE.
lmao. u are too much, i swear!
Lol @ the note to your future husband.
At least we have a lady who can be very sincere with her feelings.
ChiefO: I see you’re smoking some lalalala. You’re back 2 blogging? Yay! It only took you forever.
Simi Speaks: My dear, me sef, I’m tired of myself oh. I’m tired. Dunno what 2 do 2 myself.
Dammy: LOL. I dey try. I just don’t want him 2 be worried. lol.
*sigh* when babe head go dey misfire bcos of me na? LOL! nice one!
Vera! Kai abeg I feel you jere you no lie! Why now? oh well.. some guys are just no good in totality but no oh let them be fine but then again it’s not encompassing enough for me to want to be with them, (if they even jaed me face to be with me in the first place sef ;( na who ask me sef) make I go sleep, I am losing coherence at 2am in the night
Fellow Nokia lover winkwink
discombobulate??? my dear, you are special!!! 😀
but who am i to be opening mouth? they discombobulate me too oh! but i like to “form” like i’m not “fazed” until i convince myself that i’m not..buh fine bwoi fit make person sweat o..chai…take short breaths and stop hearing people speak temporarily..oya, i’ve said too much!
and rolling on the floor, letting out serious guffaws @ Naapali’s comment! chai..like my friend Quacky would put it…”oh bebi booh!”…