There’s a “thing” going around the Nigerian web and social media. It’s a quote where [former?] Nigerian actress, Nkiru Sylvanus is allegedly saying that there are more men than women, so she does not mind being someone’s second wife, if the situation and the person are good. She is also quoted as saying that women need to give up this idea of one man, one wife. Because of this, Nigerians are crying blood — because how dare she say such a thing – something that has never happened and isn’t happening now in Nigeria? Hold on, let’s analyze this.
First of all, is this deja vu, or did I read this quote years ago? If so, why is it suddenly being resurfaced? I have been tagged on this article and have literally gotten messages in my inbox asking if I will share my opinion on the issue. Well, here I am. Secondly, is polygamy no longer as common as white rice in Nigeria? I mean, polygamous families – whether it happened on purpose or by accident – they come a dime, a dozen in Nigeria, no? Some of you reading this right now, your father has more than one wife. In fact, you might be the offspring of the second, third, fourth, anyone-but-first wife. No be so?
That being said, I am not surprised by what Nkiru allegedly said because I am Nigerian, and this has been our reality. Even here in America, I know someone whose mother was not-first-wife in Nigeria. For the Americans who may be confused, we are not talking about a man having been married twice, nor are we talking about a man who has children with more than one woman. No, we are talking about men who marry more than one wife at the same time (and it’s not a secret to any of the wives).
One does not need to wander far in Nigeria or among Nigerians to see or hear a case of women “dragging” boyfriends. And no matter the culture, race, or nationality, side chics are always a thing. There are always men who happily cheat on their women, and there are women who also take whatever is given to them. Why they stay is a matter for another day. But in our culture, a man marrying a second wife is normal. Sometimes, the first wife even helps to find the second wife.
I could not be any less concerned about who Nkiru Sylvanus or other women are open to marrying. Whether they want to marry married men, women, or animals is none of my business. It’s when they look at my own husband that they will learn that Surugede is the dance of the spirits.
Wetin concern agbero with overload? As Vera talk, na when them look my husband side gbege go sele!!!
Gbam!!!!
polygamy is a part of our culture as Africans
it is legal in my religion: Islam
i dont see whats wrong with what she said
to each his own
I personally have never been open to being anyone’s second wife, and while I don’t support it either, I understand that it is some people’s culture and/or religion. I just don’t understand why Nigerians are feigning shock as if they don’t know the deal.
No be small surugede, lol!
Tehehehe.
lol @surugede dance of the spirits…….
Chichi, it’s true nah! Lol. By the way, I learned that from a Naija movie. Lol.
There should be a Nigerian Sister Wives show. That would be HILARIOUS!!!!!
Aaaahhhh! That would be entertainment for real. The show will give Andy Cohen a run for his money.
Fuji House of Commotion things.lmao!
I love you to the moon and back Vera. Some women support being cheated on and help men cheat…well their bizwaz like you said. http://Www.jennychisom.com
Awwwww. Thank you, Chisom!! Love you right back.
Wow. Vera you really made me laugh so much at your last comment. So nobody should look at your Igwe abi? Would you be okay with a casual or surreptitious glance?
Ha! Mary Mary, you can glance sha, BUT you must first fill application where you clearly state the intent of your glance. Your application will be reviewed by management. Lol.
Typical african behaviour, do not be shcoked that some of the people throwing shade are already carrying a married man’s belle and they are pushing for introduction to the family. On the other hand demonising single women is not helping matters.