“You Can Pass For One Of Us,” He Told Me

I was with the doctor yesterday (not my personal doctor), but it was my first time meeting him. He called me by my Igbo name and asked if he said it right. I said yes. Honestly, he did a great job, considering that he’s American. Then he asked me where I’m from, and I proudly said Nigeria. The doc then responded by saying, “Oh, wow, you speak really good English.” I don’t know what my face looked like (since I couldn’t see it), but I imagine that my eyebrows were raised defensively and my lips were pursed when I said – with as much attitude as allowed to not cross the line of being disrespectful because this was a much older man (or so he looked anyway), “We speak English in Nigeria.” He went on to say, “Oh, I know you do.  I have a lot of Nigerian patients and colleagues, like [insert some Nigerian first and last name that I don’t remember]. He’s a pharmacist. Do you know him?” I told him no. By the way, major brownie points for naming an actual Nigerian – instead of some random African – and for also giving me a first and last name, instead of John from Africa.

Anyway, he went on to explain that what he meant by saying that my English was good was that my accent was barely there and I was very eloquent. His Nigerian pharmacist friend apparently has a really thick accent and he can barely understand him. But to me, he said, “I can understand every word you say so clearly, you can pass for one of us!”

Okay, to be fair, I don’t think he meant any harm. In fact, I think he meant it as a compliment. But for me, I did not like it. I don’t like it. I don’t take it as a compliment. Yes, I know that our Nollywood celebrities – including the ones who have never left their “township” are quick to develop fake accents, which in their mind they think is cool and American or British or whatever they’re going for – but I don’t like it. As a matter of fact, the older I get, the more appreciation and love I have for the Igbo and Nigerian culture. When I’m speaking to my American friends, I deliberately try to sound as Nigerian as possible. I even still add “sha” to the end of sentences, and a few times, I have said, “Hian!”

I am not naive to the fact that I don’t talk the same way I did when I was in Nigeria. After all, I have spent most of my life in America, so it’d be strange to sound exactly the same. But I just want to sound like myself, whatever that might be at this very moment in my life. I want to talk naturally. So when I’m told that unlike my fellow Nigerians, my accent is clear and I can pass for one of the Americans, it sounds more insulting to Nigerians than it does complimentary to me.

He also asked me if I ever have a problem understanding thick Nigerian accents, and I said no because I’m Nigerian, so it sounds normal to me. But I lied. I have had very few situations where it took me a while to process what someone said because of his pronunciation. But there was no way on God’s green earth I was going to admit that.

Like I said, I honestly don’t think that the doc meant to be offensive, but my ears didn’t like what they heard. This is like that time I was told that I was too pretty to be Nigerian. It makes me wonder, well, what do you think Nigerians look like? We are beautiful! Sure, I may have a biased view, but I believe all of my biased view. Sometimes I still stare at my mommy’s picture and marvel at her beauty.

Now, I can be woman enough to admit that sometimes I over react. So tell me, am I over reacting to this statement by the doc, or do I have a right to be at least mildly offended?

P.S. The doc and I went on to have a more pleasant conversation about medical school. He went to medical school in Spain and now speaks fluent Spanish, and I told him that my parents went to med school in Russia and now both speak Russian fluently.