About 50% of my job entails meeting people and asking them some very personal questions, as required by the State of Maryland. When I first started at this job, I shadowed people more experienced and learned the trick of the trade. Then there was that first day that I had to run the meeting myself, and I went with my Supervisor. It was a few hours before the meeting that she told me I would be the one running it. All good.
The meeting was going fine until I had to ask the person, “Do you have a burial fund?” Ewwwwoooo. I choked. Thankfully, no one even noticed (I hope), and I just didn’t know how to ask this question without feeling like I was speaking of impending doom. Yes, I know that death is inevitable for everyone. Yes, I know that with every passing day, we are all one day closer to breathing our last. Still.
I have been living in America for almost 15 years (longer than I lived in Nigeria by the way), and I still haven’t gotten over certain things. I still am not used to saying or doing certain, but perhaps, with this job now, I will become more comfortable with these things. Do people go around having burial funds? I don’t like talking about death. I don’t make jokes about death. I don’t even like to think about it.
Can you imagine a Nigerian’s response to the question, “Do you have a burial fund?” She – I’m assuming she’s female – would say something like, “It is you that will have a burial fund! You want me to die?! Are you wishing me death?! It is you that will die! You and your father and your father’s father will die! Your entire generation will die! Your entire lineage will die! Your descendants will die! Your children and your children’s children will die! I rebuke you in the name of Jesus! No tongue that rises against me in judgment will live! Every weapon fashioned against me will not prosper! All my enemies must die! Die ohhhhhhh die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
And there you have it — proof that I am still Nigerian.
LOL! Who are the people doubting your Nigerian-ness?!
What she asked!
Vera!!! Lol reading this reminded me of my Mom’s “friend”. Some years after the husband died (he died in the US), a casket shop (tele marketers) called her phone & asked her if she needed to purchase a burial ground? Her response “Nne ha nwukwa”. I couldn’t stop laughing at that ever since. Also remember in secondary school when your mates cause you chai that one Na die!
Like d has tag of extremely funny #dead? I don’t use it… just cant.
One time I wrote #Alive, I refuse to be dead
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girl it aint just you. I didn’t know it was commonplace here until I took a class where I had to write my obituary. Cue fasting and prayer…with every sentence I spewed on paper. Got a good grade but it left a bitter taste in my mouth. Lol
Vera has killd me o, how can u ask a typical Nigerian if he/ she has a burial fund, its worse dan askn of a pregnant woman’s due date, you shld neva ask a Nigerian any death related question cos na wahala b dt o
Haha very funny. It reminded me of a conversation I had with a co-worker who is also Nigerian a couple of weeks ago. Can’t even remember how we got to the topic but I said I need to ask my parents where they would like to be buried when they die and she replied that I shouldn’t cause any Nigerian parent would be afraid of their child after that thinking the child is wishing them dead. Why would I wish my parents death? Just ridiculous lol
ROTFLMAO @ the response example.
Hahahahaahaaaa, hilarious!! Godfobidbadtin’!! I command fayaaahhh, I bind, I cast, I… I… I… I……
Tehehehehe. I’m glad you found it funny 🙂