Why Did I Talk About My Nipples In The Google? My Mommy Wants To Know

I have been blogging for 10 years, and do you want to know how many times I have told my mommy where I blog? Zero times. Although it’s funny because Verastic isn’t exactly hard to find or figure out. But I have never told my mommy that my blog lives on verastic.com because (1) There are certain things I write that I would prefer for my mommy to not read, and (2) My mommy is the kind to leave me a comment on the post that might read something like, “Nne, this is your mommy. Why did you say … [insert random question]? Don’t allow me to tell your daddy…”

That’s why my mommy does not know where I blog. And that’s also why I have successfully convinced her to not be on Facebook – because there is just no telling what my mommy will do. Or say.

However, my mommy somehow stumbled on my post about Ada Verastic refusing to latch on to my nipples. Of all the posts, this is the one she happened to find. She sent me a text that said, “Why did you write in the Google that your baby refused to suck your nipple?” To which I responded, “Mom, stop searching Google.” And she responded, “Yes, ma’am.” That was the end of the conversation – for now anyway.

As I have told you before, my mommy does not want to understand that I pump breast milk and feed it to Ada via bottle because she is not about that latching-to-nipple life, not because I don’t want to feed her, as my mommy continues to say. So when she asked me why I put it inside the Google, there was no way for me to respond to her. Plus, I really, really don’t want my mommy to read my blog. She’s going to make me start censoring what I write, and I do not want to be censored.

Let’s not talk about why my mommy continues to call it The Google. By the way, when I put up a post about breastfeeding breasts being the best breasts, Aunt Chinelo (my favorite aunt and mom’s baby sister) called me about that, too. She wanted to know if those were my breasts on the internet – and why did I start out by saying I wanted to introduce the readers to my breasts?

Oh, the joys of writing inside the Google!

P.S. I also never let my mommy listen to The Verastic Show (and when I bring it back, I’ll continue to hide her from it — unless, of course, she finds it herself inside the Google.)