About two months ago, I bought new underwears. It was love at first wear. It just felt right. Wearing it gave me that mmph. I might be wrong, but I think I was a better and happier person for a few days. After that, the excitement died down. You know — kinda like a regular romantic relationship with homo sapiens.
With 5% spandex in them, these underwears felt like they were made just for me. That was until I started going to the gym. I noticed that each time I was walking on the treadmill, I found myself having to literally dig my underwear out! The darn thing had gone and switched on me — right under my nose.
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| Picture of one of the actual naughty underwears |
The underwears are hipsters. I love their fit. And I love their feel. I just hate the mysterious wedgies that come along with them when I’m at the gym. It’s not a total loss because these wedgies mostly occur at the gym. When they occur outside the gym, well, what can I say? Wedgies happen.
Walking on a treadmill, earphones in my ears, mind on God-knows-what, and eyes on hot men lifting weights (let’s call it “appreciating God’s work”), the last thing I feel like doing is looking behind me to make sure that no one is looking, and then digging my underwear out – several times. And I am almost completely sure that at least one person has seen me doing this.
The way I saw it, I had only two solutions:
1. Buy new underwears
2. Go to the gym without any underwear.
Yeap. Option number two has been working pretty darn fine for me. Of course, this option isn’t very convenient when Ms. Flow is around. But then again, I don’t see the walls of the gym when Ms. Flow is around. Exercising while blood is trickling from my honey pot just has a way of screwing up my exercise routine. Who knows? It could be my obsessive thought about the blood staining everything – including me and the gym floor. Anyway, it is my hope that my gym pants don’t split – right between my butt cheeks – while I’m at the gym. Let’s face it: my ass has a thing for being exposed.
That said, the end of this post has left me with a queasy feeling: did I just post a picture of my actual underwear on verastic dot com? At this juncture, I guess I cannot front or shakara for any of my readers and mention the popular line that we Nigerian girls like to say all too often, “After all, you have never seen my pant!”
I would have said "I can't believe this! You actually posted a photo of your underwear on the internet!"
But then I remembered it's you Vera, and I just shook my head.
We need to find a cure for your level of madness.
I'm going to have wet dreams tonight.
Oh no you did not!
Vera you are a trip…..buy new underwear. invest in boyshorts for the gym
lol….Vera!!
I knew you would choose option 2…I am sure the gym will have an increase in influx of dedicated guys to "appreciate God's work".
You forgot something….. name and address of your dear gymn!
That's the actual underwear?! #DEAD
I'll go with what Funms said, boyshorts are the way to go for sporty activities.
oh no you didnt VERA!!!!!!
u don dey madt
LMAO! Ermmm but WHY VERA!!!!!!!
you're such a riot.
Ah, that line phrase is classic..hahaha..back in the day!
black pant sha
…Vera, you don kill me, such boring looking pair…commando is my MO most times at the gym…
& you, i'm suspecting you of involuntary exhibitionism
LMAO….Vera no you didnt just put up the picture of your underwear!!
Are those your panties? Hmmm…no comment, lol…
Vera…. YOU ARE MADDDDDD!
A PIC OF UR UNDERWEAR…… EWEWWWWW
Lol *dead* good night!
Lol. Vera! Every week, I am amazed more and more. Too entertaining.
Definitely boy shorts for the gym, or a very comfortable classic cotton thong (not a G-string). That works for me. I can't go commando because when I start that intense workout, I sweat everywhere. Yes, everywhere.
i shake my head for you….
black pata wearer!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Favored Girl: LOL!!! My level of madness, ke? I don mad reach that level?? Babe, this is all love oh! Besides, nobody here can claim to not have seen a woman's underwear before, so what the heck?
Anonymous: LOL. Could this be love?
Funms The Rebirth: I ain't investing in no new underwear — especially boy shorts. Those ones give me wedgies, too!
Favor's Heart: Yes ooooo. How I go take do am? 🙂
Rita: Honey, but option number two just seemed more feasible… and not to mention, more economical! Per the influx, I have not noticed oh.
Elean J: Very funny!!! But hmm… that does sound like a good idea *wink, wink*
~B~ Boy shorts and I don't mix well. We have a love-hate relationship, so no boy shorts for me either.
BBB: Yes, I sure did. As for the madness, e don tey wey yansh dey for back.
Ms. O: Honey, because I knew you'd like to see it — again. LOL. Don't you like it? *wink, wink*
Leggy: I know. I just can't help myself. What are we going to do to fix it?
His Treasure: Yes, oh!!! Many are the times I have said it. And there I say, it is still valid! *gulp*
Baroque: Hahahahahahaha @ involuntary exhibition. No such thing!! By the way, did you just call my omalicha underwear underwear "boring?" How dare you?! That's it! You can forget about seeing my underwear — EVER!!!
Shorty: I sure did. You like it? I knew you would, so I put it up 🙂
Myne: My friend, comment jare!!! Wharris the comment you have sef?
Funmie: Sweetheart, you of all people should stop this nonsense frontin! You've seen my underwear more times than usual. Shoot, you've even borrowed my bra. Speaking of which, where is my white strapless bra?
Gochi: LOL. Better wake up and enjoy the picture.
Suzanne Brume: LOL @ sweating everywhere. I think I need to save that for a totally different post. But no boy shorts for me sha.
Ibiluv: That's me!! I didn't wanna put the colored ones. They were too colorful. LOL.
hilarious! but this is why we have tampons, boo…
hilarious! but this is why we have tampons, boo…
Vera………..
when honesty tilts towards madness, it should be embraced. but Vera, the colour of that underwear? a sure 'libido-killer' anyday.
Uche: Tampons ke? For even when I'm not on my period? LOL. Abeg, tampons scare me (and it has nothing to do with size and/or virginity. Tampons and I have a story).
Olufunke: Yes, sweetie. It is me.
Goldfish: Chei! I have suffered with this my black underwear oh. It's the one and only pair I have. I didn't wanna put the colored ones up. Thought they'd be too colorful. I shoulda known better. Now I feel like posting a second picture to show that I do have colorful underwears. Sheesh! LOL. Killing libidos is soooo not my goal. *crying* LOL.
DELETE THIS TOPIC!!
Anonymous: Ah, ah. Why now?? Mba nu. I shall not delete it oh. In fact, I'll post another underwear. LOL.
Kolo Mistress!
That ultimately means that blogsville would never know who you really are.. You've sealed it..
Why are you all surprised? Nothing Vera does can finish me again, I just shake my head and laugh.
PS I hate gym wedgies, thongs are very good for the gym.