It’s over between us. Even though I have not officially broken up, I know it’s over definitely over. I might be wrong, but no1 ever goes into a relationship and hopes for it to end. In my experience, the hope for it to end comes @ a later time – after the excitement and passion (which by the way are sometimes only a figment of one’s imagination) has washed away and your eyes open up to the big mess you have put yourself in. It is @ that time that one begins to wish for the end of the relationship. It can also be referred to as the “Oh, Crap” moment. It appears that I have come to that moment and time.
After the agonizing, almost-self-mutilating, physical and emotional trauma I suffered from my previous relationship with my boy shorts, I swore to never, ever, ever be caught with an uncomfortable underwear. I only started wearing boy shorts because of how pretty and colorful they were. Talk about being shallow! After I exited that relationship and successfully sought some counselling, I began to wear Hipsters. They were my all and all, my soul mate in underwears: beautiful, colorful, and oh yes, comfortable. Have I lost you? Well, let me clarify: Yes, I am talking about my underwears.
The hipster underwear really hasn’t done anything to me. It has been nice to me. Maybe that’s the problem. It has been too nice. I now realize that the hipster was the rebound underwear, an underwear that I fell hard for just because I was in pain and needed someone something to comfort my pain. So that is the story of how my butt cheeks fell into the warming comfort and embrace of the hipster.
Now that I’m feeling better (and totally over the hurt, pain, and suffering I experienced from the boy shorts), my eyes have opened, and I realize that the hipsters are just not sexy enough! They’re not even all that colorful. Alright, I lie. They’re colorful enough. But in terms of sexiness, on a scale of one to ten, the hipsters have 2. See, that just isn’t enough. These hipsters don’t make me feel sexy. They don’t make me feel all girly inside. They don’t compel me to dance in front of my mirror with a can of hair spray as my microphone while I gleefully, confidently belch out the song, “And I am telling you… I’m not going/ You’re the best man I’ve ever known/ There’s no way I can ever go/ No, no, there’s no way/ No, no, no, no way/ I’m living without you/ I’m not living without you/ I don’t wanna be free/ I’m staying… I’m staying/ And you, and you…/ You’re gonna love me/ You’re gonna love me…..” Well, you get the idea. No need to type out the entire lyrics.
Seriously, the hipsters don’t make me want to sing this song. Sure, I don’t have the voice for the song, but that is sooooo not the point. Instead, the hipsters make me wanna sing, “When a woman’s fed up/ It ain’t nothing you can do about it/ It’s like running out of love/ And then it’s too late to talk about it…” So you see, it’s obvious I need new underwears. The question is which ones??? No, I will not wear thongs/g-strings/t-strings or whatever goes between my butt cheeks as my regular, everyday underwear. The fact of the matter is that I am pretty content with the natural slice that God has put between my butt cheeks, so I do not intend to make the slice bigger by putting a string in it everyday. Come on, people. Think of something.
Z
…. In case you’re interested, my love affair with the hispters started here.
first!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHA!!!! OMG OMG *dancing makossa*
Im first on veras page
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
** NOw doing the dutty whine*
WOhoooo
Lets see if im second!!!
My day will be great!!!
2nd!!!
Let me finish them
3rd~!!!!!
***Now doing the stanky leg dance***
Ok let me go and read!! hehe!!
Figures that i would be first on a post about underwear.
Vera you have an amazing way of making me believe ur tales.
I had already started to type up a reply on how to help soothe ur broken heart and tell u sorry about ur rship. Choi.
You can fit to tell me the sky is purple and i will believe.
Emm ok my suggestion of a replacment??
You know those knickers (lol) the ones we used to wear when we were small?? wide covers everything with floral patterns…..very comfy i tell you!!!
third on vera’s blog!
I recently fell in love with lace pants ( http://www.photographersdirect.com/buyers/stockphoto.asp?imageid=1092698 ) they are so comfortable, your thing can have some fresh air and did i mention they make you feel sexy in a matured way! They have cute ones in V.S and almost any underwear selling stores.
lol @ spammer phoenix.
Not an authority on female underwear, but if finding a comfy one is too complicated… consider going bare.
Trust me, you’ll feel verrry sexy too!
@Quagger….DONT HATE!!!! APPRECIATE (lame i know lol)
nice one!! I didnt think of that.
Trust me Vera, very comfy AND sexy!!! lol
logically speaking I’m the fifth commenter on VERE’s blog, VERA’S BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!! someone please wake me up
NOW I read
Vera you have issues oh… In fact from now on, I’ll be very cynical when reading your blog. You keep catching me unawares. Naughty gel!
I am officially no 6 which makes me top 10, yes, i counted blogger by blogger!!!!
trust me, i was not fooled, i saw the topic and automatically i just felt “oh its vera, she must be talking about a verastic relationship”.
on the undees, my advice “wear none”! they are so comfy!!
boy shorts are tres comfy & sexy, don't know y u couldn't make it work btwn you too. Oh well u can always go back to ur luv after flirting with other underwears.
hmmn…seem like im intrudin on some women’s space this time..
i see its all talk geared towards some comfy underwears
(A woman’s thing)…well it might intrest you to know what guys think too..LOL.
Think you should do a post on guys too so you can strike a balance btw…Have a lovely weekend..
wont lie 4 a minute i was thinking bout a guy…lol
im sad u werent!
The original Onye Ara 1!!!
Lol @ rebound underwear. I’m so with u on the no thongs bizness, dunno how i wil intentionally give myself a wedgie.
Me i think boyshorts are cool, french knickers r very sexy, though not as comfortable, or u can take the advice of others above and……GO COMMANDO!
I hope u know that the anti wearing of g-strings/thongs etc is a sign of old age creeping in? 🙂
try cheekies or barely there:) from V. secret, they’re awesome. Personally love boyshorts tho, they too damn sexy
Look at me rushing in here thinking this was about a boy.
Phoenix: I see they’ve gotten to you too ehn? You’ve been bitten by whatever bug Bumight and Temite are always bitten by. LOL. And thank you for your suggestion oh, but me, I no go wear knickers. They’re comfy, but they’re even less sexy than hispters, so mba nne, I cannot regress in that manner. LOL @ believing everything I write. Nwa nne’m, that is a good thing now (for me sha…) Hehe
Quagger: Congrats oh! E no easy. These days, I don’t know if even I can achieve 3rd on my own blog. LOL.
YNG: You know I heard something about lace pants, but I’m gonna click on that link you gave me. I have to do something about these unsexy underwears I’ve been wearing. It’s not funny anymore.
Quagger: LOL. You’re suggesting that a whole me should start going commando ehn? I’ll enjoy the endless supply of fresh breeze, but what if I get into a fight and my enemy tears my skirt or something? Na so I go just over-expose. Hia. Mba o. I fittn’t.
Phoenix: So you’ve joined him in suggesting that your sister should go commando? I said no ooo! I cannot. What if dust enters there sef and the thing catches cold or something like that?
G-FUNC: LOL. You’re very funny. Kini big deal na? But congrats oh.
Ms Lowlah: See me see wahala o. Wetin I do now? All I did was tell my story, that’s all. See, I was not even tryna catch you unawares. Baby mi… don’t be cynical when reading my blog oh because this issue I discussed today is a very serious issue that needs to be dealt with seriously.
Omotee: I don’t like this o! What are you tryna say sef? Which kin verastic relationship? Dis is serious stuff. Y’ll are ganging up against me, I see. Per your suggestion, I would have to respectfully decline. Me, I don’t want to go commando. It sounds comfy sha…
Jayla: Boy shorts have different effects on different peeps. For some, it’s awesome, and for others like me, it’s horrible. Those underwears gave me severe wedgies. I couldn’t take it anymore. LOL.
Trybes: You want me to do a post on men’s underwear? Or you want me to do a post on women’s underwear, asking for men’s opinion? I wouldn’t mind doing either one of them (or both).
Gee: LOL. Why are you sad now? You want it to be over between me and a guy? LOL. Haha. Eya. Ndo.
Mizchif: Call me onye ara one more time and I will massacre that your face 4 u. lol. I will google French knickers and see what they look like. I’m definitely not going back to boyshorts, and thongs and going commando are out of the question.
Tigeress: LOL. Dat one na your own o! This is definitely not old age. I am not anti thongs. I have them. I just refuse to wear one everyday.
SweetNothin: Thanks for the suggestions, love. I’m definitely gonna go check them out. No more boyshorts 4 me.
Nice Anon: What’s your point? Are you implying that this post isn’t just as important (maybe even more)? Mind yourself o!
Inukwaa. Ele udiri egwure egwu wu ihea? Biko if it ain’t about a boy next time eh. I will beat you.lmao!
I dashed in here as soon as saw the title of ur post rotflmbo….miss Vera na wa for you ooo. Only you!
lol @ GOING COMMANDO! On the real it very sexy and comfy….no wedgie wahala.
I think you should flirt around and pick the best fit.
What you are looking for in sokoto is in your sokoto. You know those loin wraper they use in the olden days wont be a bad idea for you gal? So start making ’em…It will be sexy on you..Take a few pics when you av ’em…LOL
G strings and thongs are the sexiest and most comfortable things ever! But if u dont like those- orgive Boyshorts 4 whatever it has done and go back to it- they r d next best
P.S i was already cursing the person i thought was the heart breaker!
You this girl!
Hilarious Vera I have missed you so! I HATE those strings. I had a terrible hurtful experience with it. Will prolly blog about it.
Hem now to this new underwera issue, nothing maks a girl feel good as very sexy underwear, Why not look through e-bay? I have found some great ones there.
Are we really reallyyyyyyyyy sure we re talking about undies here??? sounds like the guy I just met who doesn’t make me sing in the showers!!!!
LOLLL Fol me tiwce shame on me abi how did they say it.
i did not fall for it at all.
Long time girl houw u been?
kai, I cannot even shout for this post! vera eh? lol…
Have a great week ahead..
Much love 🙂
go commando……….
I mentioned your blog in a review for http://nigerianstalk.org
and its also on mine
http://pdbraide.blogspot.com/2009/04/food-in-naija-blogosphere-nigerians.html
its on food… dont ask lol!
LOL. Ur too funny. Man, sorry I don’t have any ideas I am not a guru on underwear..currently unhappy with mine as well: where is the money to buy all this sexy stuff? hm. Im sure people hav ecome up with great ideas for u now neway.. 😉
ok…obviously this post is not directed at me…*exits*
Vera!!!!!! (now you know how i say ur name right??)
How come I even missed this blog?I thought i was a disciple but it doesn’t look like it…so let me be the 94th follower!!!
Sexy underwear – try french knickers…
Yeah thongs are not comfy at all. Why would one want a constant wedgie (or frakpas as it is locally known)?
I find regular lowrise briefs comfy. The only problem is the pantline, but my more takes more panadol for my pantline headache than I do, so I can’t say it’s one of the things I consider when buying panties.
Going undie-less? Not cool.
Vera, I would like to introduce you to Hanes cotton no-ride, no-panty line underwear. These babies are comfy and inexpensive. You can buy them at walmart for less than $7 for a pack of five. I swear by them.
ahahahahaha ah Vera, you see why I love your posts?
If you have divorced hipsters, I will be sure to ask my grandma where she gets hers so you can engage that one too