At no point in time is anyone completely knowledgeable of everything in life. If I did not know this before, I surely found out on Saturday. During the Verastically Speakin’ Talk Radio show on Saturday, the show topic was In The Name Of All Things Women. It was co-hosted by , Ego Du Jour, and Funmie. asked us questions about women — like why we always say we’re virgins (who said we aren’t?), why we say we’re not angry when we really are (that has never, ever happened!), and why we take forever to get ready (because we can. Get with the program).
Anyway, we did a good job of staying on the topic of the day until NaijaBloke decided to ask, “Why do women say ‘eww’ when you tell them to teabag?” That was the beginning of confusion for me and Funmie, especially since and Ego Du Jour both knew what it meant. We later found out what it means. If you don’t know what it means, go ahead and research it. I have no intention of defining it here.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, NaijaBloke (Yes, him again!) asked about women and salad tossing. Again, Funmie and I found ourselves at a complete loss. No matter how I tried to creatively and figuratively think about what else salad tossing could possibly stand for, all I could think of was this:
As fate would have it (can I really thank fate for this?), Mogaji was there to explain it to us. Apparently, salad tossing is the act of eating/sucking/licking someone’s butt hole. Now, please tell me, why would someone in their right mind eat, lick, suck — or even want to look at another person’s butt hole? We are indeed talking about the butt hole that shits and farts, right? I have heard many things, but this one takes the cake. It has gotten me all shaken up…. and positively disgusted.
So many things have been running through my mind since I first heard this: In what position does the lickee stay while his/her butt is being eaten or licked? What kind of pleasure does the licker derive from sticking his head between someone’s naked butt cheeks. Finally, whose salad did NaijaBloke toss (or who tossed his salad?)
That said, I still don’t know why they call it salad tossing. And no, I do not wish to find out.
P.S. The good news is that I won 8 out of the 15 categories I was nominated in for the Nigerian Blog Awards. Thank you all for nominating and voting for me. I really, really, really appreciate it. What would I do without you?
P.P.S. Stay away from people’s butt holes. It’s shitty in there.
Am I first?
Vera O Vera.I was eating my salad at work(during my graveyard shift) and was thinking how much i hate boring salads and decided to stalk you. lo and behold, my salad became very interesting- too much so. At first, I thought it was about dieting and such but wonders shall never end o. This is shld be made the 8th wonders of the world. Let's not even start talk about the ecoli and all. LMAO.
Yayyy!
So you didn't have any idea before then? LOL…Whatever works for people I guess. And yeah people put their head between thighs and buttocks, even when not tossing salads. You really are a sweet innocentia virginia, aren't you?
I have never heard salad tossing as that before. As far as I knew it was eating a woman out.
Taynement
lol @ it's shitty in there. It really is. Pple are freaky mehn! Makes no sense to me why anyone would be turned on by that act unless they were gay and liked ass to begin with. Just ewww!
Vera definitely needs to be watching more sex n the city–lol,get your sex vocab updated!
N,(*evil wink*)Lets see if you'll still b maintaining the "ewww" when you're the one serving the salad.
Teabaggging?…I literally threw up in my mouth
I'd heard of buttholes being licked but that in my min'd eye is jus as painful as anal sex….ewww…guess I am a juvie in many ways
Hope I gain my appetite back.
eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww
God forbid
but tell me which one is teabag again
na wa oh
congrats on the award
u never pay oh
It really is fascinating the things people do in the name of making sex more interesting/ pleasurable. i mean, why would i venture near someone's butt hole when i am not being held at gun point(and this would be after considerable torture…ewwww…i don't think I'll every look at my salad the same way again.
My own Vera Innocentia Virginia according to Myne Whitman, how can you say you don’t know these terms, tea bagging (his balls in your mouth) & tossing salads (anal–oral contact or anilingus)…oh well, now you know, so you cant give me any excuses.LOL
& to all of you holier-than-thou bloggers that are ewwwwing up & down here & wondering why anyone would want to rim anyone else (unless you want to do it to yourself)…should please shut the hell up & learn quietly like you did for all the other bad things you know…if you can give or get a head, you are likewise an offender
lol…funny post.
My only problem this post is, why did u have to call me and EDJ out as the ones that knew… like we are evil children or something…lol.
Anyways… Tossing salad is not even the worst of the sexual acts I've heard… there are crazy things people do in this world… tossing salad is considered mild sef. lol
omdzzzzzzzzzzzz…..lol…i had no clue what these things were and ive NEVER heard them before….im off to tell my friends! lol….it it IS DISGUSTING
i have to say, i am surprised at all the comments
taynement
different strokes 4 different folks!
… variety is d spice of life!
What else can I say?
LMAO! I had too much fun last saturday!!! Naijabloke is just nasty! I didnt know what it was either…:)
OMG….this post cracked me up…I'm still laffing as i type this
LOL. I agree with Aribaba! See how she put us on blast and even put Mogaji on blast! Nekwanu anya biko!
Sha, I am glad people are getting educated. Next time you will be the one explaining it.
Na wah oh!
Lol Vera! Yea a lot of crazy things go on…Sorry that u had to find out that way!!! lol
CONGRATS BTW!!!!!!!
lmao@ baroque
anyhoo it might sound weird but theres dis guy who luuuvs it so much, he says d sensation is amazing and no he isnt gay and he even makes the extra effort to wash his hole with soap b4 d act,i neva knew women cud get rim jobs i thought it to be exclusive to guys…..
I co-sign Aribaba..there are worse sex acts and the whole ewwwing thingysef is making me laff..well, i personally smile when someone says in public that he/she cannot do 'this or that' in bed cos really, there's do way to find out what's true, is there?
LMAO.
Salad tossing? I'm quietly noting it in my dictionary of …of new words /acts.
LOl @ BArOquE . LOOLLL
LMAO!!! Salad kini?? I reserve my comments.
Congratulations Dear.
Haha, you are welcome Vera. That will be $400.00 for my sexpertise
Oh lord, why did I read this?
See me thinking you wanted to ACTUALLY talk about salads.
ugh!
Yikes…. I have heard about the act but I thought it was called 'rimming'? Anyway, I am a carnivore…I dont eat veggies! lol
seriously
anyone who truly enjoys sex
doesnt take tyme to do a second by second-bit by bit account of what *is* pleasurable
if *we* did………….
we will all die celibate
so-for all those who enjoy sex
whatever rocks ya boat
tea-bagging?
salad tossing?
carry go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very soon, they will all be sticking the dcik into the nostrils and armpits. Whoever tot of anals in the 80s?
If you can allow your clit and labia folds to be licked, do not be eewed by any other form of licking that is just an extension of the former. Both places are equally "dirty", and equally "clean" and we never stop eating them. Welcome to the world.
PS: I'm eewed too. Are we really much different from animals?
But why 'salad tossing'??? What has a butt hole got to do with green leafy vegetables? Teabagging I get…it looks like a wet used teabag sort off….
Congrats vera 🙂
Congrats dear..
Read the post and the comments..
Hmmm,
I'm leaving, thanks.
See it is paining me that i missed last weeks show oh! When i listened to the podcast i imagined the craziness in the chat room.
Vera, no be small innocentia virginia oh, how is it that you do not know these terms and what they mean?
And yea, buttholes are shitty!
Congrats on the awards tho.
Ha! I finally got it! I heard salad tossing on a movie a while back (can't remember the title) and I just couldn't figure out what it meant but I knew it was something 'bad' because of the context it was used. Teabagging makes better sense, lol.
Myne: Yes, ma'am!
Yenoh: So, what you're saying essentially is that I, Vera Ezimora helped you eat a healthy meal. Awesome!! LOL.
Myne: Bia, Myne… whatdyu mean sef? Me, Innocentia Virginia? Kpachalu anya gi o! It's not my fault. My administrative assistant (Funmie) who is supposed to keep me abreast has been lacking. She's just as ignorant as I am.
TayneMent: At least you heard of it as something. I only knew of it as well … tossing the salad — with the dressing and all. lol
Sting: It's amazing, isn't it? Butt holes are just not the places to be sticking mouths. Yuck!
T. Notes: There's no "when" oh! I will not be serving any salad that is not on a plate and covered with dressing. I watch Sex in the City. Guess I don't watch a lot of it sha. I barely watch any TV actually.
Tega: You threw up for teabagging? Or you threw up for salad tossing??
BBB: LOL @ which one is teabag? No be for my mouth you go hear say na Babangida kill Delegiwa. Per the payment, mention your price, babe. I don tell you tire.
Sulihp: LOL @ not looking at your salad the same way again. Well, as for me, I'll still look at my salad the same way ooo … mostly because I fail to even see the relationship between salad and that nasty stuff. But yes, it is interesting to see/know how far people would go to make their sex lives more interesting.
Baroque: LOL!! You're a mad man! I don't have any excuse for what? Mind yourself oh! Thank you for redefining those terms again. Who asked you? I'm starting to think that this our impending nuptials will not work oh! Now that I know what you plan on doing to and with my butt hole, I don't think I can move forward.
Leggy: Yes, indeed.
Aribaba: What you're feeling right now is nothing but guilty conscience. Admit it already. Am I the one that said you and EDJ should know the meaning, ehn? I asked a question and you knew the answer. LOL. Leave me ooo.
Sisi Yemmie: Chei. My bible says I should go into the world and preach the gospel oh. They did not say I should go and teach people bad stuff. But it is well.
Taynement: How so? What is it exactly that surprises you?
Musco: You could tell us how you actually feel abourrit. I think you're in favor of it. lol
Ms. O: NaijaBloke is not well as you know. Of course, we're not going to tell him that. I don't want him to boycott Verastic. But he's a mad man.
Jhazsym: If you think this is funny, you should have listened to the show live. It was worse. Too funny.
EDJ: Lai lai. I will not be explaining nada! Anyone that wants to know should go and google it. I shall not use this my omalicha mouth to spread this kin abomination. LOL @ putting you on blast. Guilty conscience!
Blowing Blessings: Yes oooo! That was how I found out — live and direct — on the show that everyone was listening to. Now, I'm being called Innocentia Virginia. LOL. Thanks for the congratulations.
Formerly Stealth Reader: Me, I just didn't know at all that people do that kind of stuff: whether male or female. I guess I'm just shocked. I still remember when I first found out about oral sex. That was a exactly one decade ago.
His Treasure: But there are some things that should be off limits, aren't there? I'm not saying one should be a prude (especially when married), but at a point, the line has to be drawn or else it never, ever ends.
SHE: Don't go and say you learned it from Verastic ooo! Verastic will not take responsibility for this! Don't mind Baroque. I don tire for am.
ROTF, So I’d been on your home page severally and I noticed the salad tossing banner and just wasn’t interested in learning how to make salads till I came across it for real on fmylife.com (where i go to read people’s garbage when I’m net bored) and I saw it here again; Of course, I couldna resist.
Sometimes I wonder if we really enjoy all these weird things we do or if it’s just social, human-animal ‘behaviorals’ that become common place because they become popular.
This young mind shall experiment, grow and decide on what’s worth tossing and what’s not >> I’m definitely scared of salads!