I was reading my Psyc textbook the other day, and I came across some interesting stuff. Well, it might not be interesting to you, but you know how I find everything ‘interesting.’
According to my Psyc textbook, men generally prefer women whose waists are 30% smaller than their hips.
So guess what I did? Yeap, you guessed it. I got my measuring tape (which is always handy by the way), and I got to measuring.
It is with great difficulty and shame that I regret to announce the news: my waist is 7% bigger than it should be, which means that my waist is only 23% smaller. **sigh**
So I’ve been wondering, and pondering how to fix this new physical problem I just found out (as if I don’t have enough already!) I have come up with three options:
Option 1: Decrease my waist size by 7%. This will be achieved by doing 500 sit ups in the morning, 500 sit ups during lunch, and 500 sit ups in the night. I’ll even have sit ups for dessert and snacks sef. In addition to this, I will eat only fruits & veggies, drink gallons of water, and run to wherever I’m going to. After all, running will save me some gas. I will also wear an extra tight corset 24/7 amd tie my stomach with that big belt. Back in the day, the belt was known as an ‘abortion belt.’ Whether this belt aborted any babies or not has been a mystery 2 me. I’m hoping it didn’t.
Option 2: Increase my hips size by 7%. No dietery changes will be necessary for this. I’ll just continue the diet I am currently on. It is known as the eat-sleep-then-eat-again diet. So far, it has worked for me. This will explain the rapid increase in my butt and thighs. At first, I thought it had something to do with global warming and the price of gas, but apparently not.
Option 3: Scrap the whole thing. These Psychologists dunno what they’re talking about! As far as I’m concerned, 23% is the new 30% anyway.
…Yeap, I’m definitely going for option 3, albeit Option 2 is embedded in it…kinda sorta (but without the increase in hips size abeg).
LOL.
Note to God: Please understand that Option 2 is only a joke! If I wake up tomorrow morning and find one inch added to my hips, we go fight ooo! Make you no carry this kin thing dey play with me. Ehen. Let no1 say I did not tell God o because He has a way of playing practical jokes on me, and they are not funny!!!
So ladies, how much smaller is your waist???
To measure your waist, use your belly button as a landmark. Put the tape on your belly button and go around your tummy.
To measure your hips, use the farthest/biggest part of your butt as a landmark. Make sure the tape is lying on the side sticking out by the side of your thigh. If you do not have a side sticking out, then sorry o. E get as e be. LOL
haaaa
my hips is almost half of my waist
maybe i’ll have to do 10,000 x 3 sit ups daily.
abeg fashy that figure thing and enjoy your african woman ‘s shape! you need both to carry bikin na.lollll
waist line? Do I still have that? Aight lemme look for the tape to measure. BRB.
Darkelcee: This babe, I’m tryna picture your hips being half of your waist. LOL. That’s hella funny.
Temmy Tayo: LOL. Hahahaha. My sistah, that is the real kweshion oh. Do we still have waist lines. LOL. Oya go & measure.
am not even gonna go there considering my yanshless ass… chei vera y naw? y did u have to put me out there?
Funmie: Did I ever mean to hurt you? No. *singing* I said I’m sorry, Funmi! I never meant hurt you! I never meant to make you cry but tonight, I’m cleaning out my closet! *end of singing*
LOLLLLLL…right now i don’t have a TAPE. Lend me urs…
I don’t think those psychologists really know what they’re on about…u’re right! Lol.
But u are HILARIOUS Vera…u actually went to measure ur waist size…lollll…
Abeg, all of it is theory…not sure if they included naija women in that research…lol…
Jaycee: LOL. Of course, I had to measure my waist size. Shebi na leadership na example. I wanted to make sure that my waist is at least 30% smaller. Shoot, I didn’t even know I had a waist! LOL. Yeye Psychologists!
S. Chic: My dear, I dunno oh. But I was devastated to find out that my waist is not 30% smaller than my hips. Yeah, right!
see what you have caused vera! as you would rightly guess, I went to look for my measuring tape and *sob* my waist is only 24% smaller than my hips!
how many sit ups do u prescribe?
I no measure oh…need no measurement to see that my tummy is bigger than my hips right now…ok, not that bad but nearly…
I heard sex increases the hips sha…not sure yet..will need to put it to the test..
But me thinks if you have 44DD boobs, the men wont be looking at hips or waist…maybe we should concentrate there….eat lots of chesse maybe?
buahahaahhahah….44DD boobs? yeh!!!
Bumight: LOL. Sweerie, @ least you’re 1% better than me. You should do 450 sit-ups instead of 500 like me. LOL. Goodluck!!!
AfroBabe: LOl. This gal…did you say 44DD boobs? Haba, haba! Do you know how hard it will be to find a bra? Ah, mba o! I no follow you for that 44DD. I’m still complaining that I can’t find a push up bra and you wan come dash me more cups. I rebuke you, Afro Babe.
LOL @ ur tummy being bigger than your waist.
Funmie: My sister, follow me and laugh @ Afro Babe o. She don kolo finish. LOL
See wahala! I most definitely am not going to be measuring anything on my body. The men can have their preferences all they want, that’s their problem.
Get ready to fight with God oh cos u know how they say the first one goes to heaven. Na u talk am, now u want to take it back?
Sting: I refute every tongue that rises against me in judgement! How dare you wish me an increase in hip size? Make you take time oh before I just use idea come send katakata your way. LOL.
So you have refused 2 measure ehn? LOL.
em…hip? can u define wat it looks like or beta yet show me a pix of one. I am skinny wiggy wit a dot of an ass, zero side contour, a breath of boobs and i tall as 6ft. I should av stayed on d que wen God was sharing shape o!!!!
lmao
this is hilarious. am still laughing
i couldn’t even start 2 imagine wot my waist is vs my hips. first, i no too get hip 2 start with. i come get small belle on top am. now, by d time u put all these in consideration. my waist & my hips r probably d same measurement. i don’t a tape 2 confirm it. no amount of sit up or water go change anything. i could go under d knife. dat might help
Giving birth also increases hip size, Vera…let us know if you go with that option ok? 😉
yeap, i think am gonna go with goodnaijagirl… vera, have that ur mr. total package also poularly known as your buddy get u knocked up and then we can see ur impact on your hip size after 9 months!
Nikki Sab: Hahahahaha. Babe, take it easy on yourself now. LOL. Hahahaha. LOL @ zero side contour. Chei. I shall not laugh myself 2 stupor on this blog.
Florida: LOL. Well, like I said, these psychologists dunno what they’re talking about anyways. LOL @ ur waist & hips being the same size. Funny gal.
Good Naija Girl: Thank you ehn. You too love me. I will stick 2 my diet. Besides, I no wan increase my hip size oo!
Moi: Hellllll no! Na rice abi na beans? Una get jazz? Me get knocked up ke? Lai lai. I don’t wanna know the impact – yet. When I get married, I will find out. LOL.
vera! vera!! vera!!!
bush up bra… now this… tell me truly… what is going on
confess it all
the girl is discovering her personal assets. pls let her be. wetin?
verastic vera, omo igbo aint u with me?
Diamond: What can I say? You know me too well. You have caught me in the act – again. I was gonna surprise you, but heck, I might as well tell the world: I’m doing it for you, honey.
Funmie: Personal assets? LOL. Abeg, when will they start yielding me some $$$???
well i would like to know the structure of men women prefer cos i’m kind of very bulky and i’m scared i could lose my buddie
VERA has come again. but since i no be woman it doesnt apply to me. but wat happens when ur hip/ass is nonexistent and yet u have stomach. dat means ur waist would be like 500% more than ur hips.
i wont name names but i met up with one of my friends for naija fest in Baltimore last year. after wat seemed like forever she came out of the bathroom and her question to me was,”EngineerAyo do i look slimmer?”
Sex Addict: I’ll consult my textbook for more info on that. I personally do not have a ‘type’… I think.
Chief O: Who is the friend? Is it Funmi? That sounds like the kinda rubbish she will say…that yeye girl. LOL. LOL @ the waist being 500% bigger.
kiss my booty Deji…. ah ur ass is so on fire. ehn ehn so i dont have a huge ass…*coughs* and ehn ehn so?
and oh i will kill u. you are dead.
d next time u see me, i will look a size 0 model…. yea! dat will not even happen, at least not in this existence
funmie, u cant do me nohin. i did not in any way shape form or manner. anyway since the cat is already out of the bag i might as well name it. FUNMIE is its name. by the way u r the one i was refering to with my 500% analogy.
FUNMIE update your blog or else…(dats a threat by the way)
i think i almost passed. lol. 28.57 approx 29, approximately 30. Mo ti hammer. lol.
Vera abeg stop making me laugh.
Funmie: LOL. Don’t mind chief. He does not know what he’s talking about. You’ve got a booty that can go 4 miles *coughs*
Chief: Thank you oh my brother. Please helep me 2 tell Funmi 2 update her blog. According 2 her, she has not updated because she has so much 2 say. Oya, say it now ehn!
Pink Gloves: You don kolo finish oo. How did you get from 28.57 to 30? LOL. From my own calculation, me I got 28.60 as the approximation oo. Why don’t you suck in your stomach reallllllly, reallllllly well, and then you might achieve 30. :)) See the things we do 4 men. *sigh*
How small is my waist? U wouldnt want to know. LOL!
I’ve thought about situps for breakfast, lunch & dinner too. Just havent got round to doing that yet but I am proud to announce I walked all 6.6KM to and from work today and intend to make it a daily occurence. 160 minutes on the road – see punishment wey I give myself. LOL!