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Former Order Of Things
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New Order Of Things
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1
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Boy meets girl
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Boy meets girl
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2
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Boy falls in love with girl
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Sex, sex, sex!!!
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3
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Boy proposes to girl
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Baby shower
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4
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Bridal shower
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Naming ceremony
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5
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Wedding
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Christening
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6
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Sex, sex, sex!!!
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Baby’s 1st birthday
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7
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Baby shower
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Boy falls in love with girl
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8
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Naming ceremony
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Boy proposes to girl
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9
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Christening
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Bridal shower
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10
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Baby’s 1st birthday
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Wedding
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It used to be that John and Jane would be dating, and then, we’d hear that John proposed to Jane, and then, we’d be invited to the wedding. These days, John and Jane would be dating, and then, we’d get invited to a baby shower – which we’d confuse for a bridal shower, asking, “Wait, you mean a bridal shower, right?” To which the person we asked would emphasize, “No, I mean a baby shower.” And then, all parties would think the same thought but not say anything.
To be fair, there are times when John and Jane would be dating, then we’d suddenly we invited to a wedding, then we’d wonder when John proposed. Then we’d say to the one who invited us, “Oh, I didn’t know John and Jane got engaged!” To which the one we said it to would respond, “They didn’t.” And then, the one who responded would add, “By the way, the baby shower slash bridal shower is coming up in two weeks.” And then, all parties would think the same thought again: are they getting married because she got pregnant?
And then, one day, one bold girl would ask of John, “Did you marry her because she got pregnant?” Looking straight ahead, John would say, “Oh, no! I would have married her anyway.” And the bold girl would witness a big gulp going down the throat of John. And she would swear she saw a single tear roll down his right eye. He would smile, say he’s happy, say Jane is just perfect for him, even thankful she got pregnant. The bold girl would smile, too. And John and Jane would live somehow ever after – the bold girl not included in their life, of course.
So, you see. This formula works. Try it. A trial will convince you.
DISCLAIMER: The views expressed here are that of Vera Ezimora and are NOT guaranteed to give you your desired result. Conceive at your own risk!
I had to laugh at this conversation:
"Wait, you mean a bridal shower, right?"
"No, I mean a baby shower."
Desperate measures yield desperate results. He he.
Actually, this just happened to someone I know:
Boy meets girl
Boy falls in love with girl
Boy proposes to girl
Sex, sex, sex!!! from the excitement of the engagement
Positive pregnancy test
And now, we're all like:
Baby shower? Bridal shower? Which comes first? We'll have to wait and see…
LOL…you tink sey e easy to carry belle? But its true sha…different things are happening these days.
I actually have a friend who got pregnant after a couple of months of dating a guy. He told her to go have an abortion because in his words (as told to me by her), he was "just f***ing" her and had "no intention of being permanently tied" to her. So I'd say proceed with caution…:-).
Vera,
Why should my name be used there as an example?
Anyway, I love the disclaimer! I was like thinking to myself, Is she serious? Nowadays, getting pregnant for a guy especially if not planned by both parties is a sure guarantee they'll be no wedding splash (what was that phrase again?)In my country, the relationship ends whenever a thing like that happens.
Some girls still believe it works o. all the best to them sha
Please women, do go get pregnant. It doesnt work o!
Nine months from today, the news would read:
"Studies have shown that there has been a jump in the number of pregnant single females of nigerian descent. This instances have been found to have started after these women read Verastically Living, a blog owned by Vera Ezimora, a self proclaimed relationshp specialist. More details at 5…"
I like that caveat that you issued at the end……..Conceive at your own risk…………truth toooo badddddddddd!!!
interesting concept… but word on the street Vera is guys want to get a girl pregnant before marrying her to ensure she can give birth… sometimes it's even encouraged by the guy's parents…
so add another level to your list!
🙂
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….ok i have not laughed this much in a while..and for that i love thee!!
u spk the truth!!
Can't stop laughing!
Well you what they say 'it comes with the territory' and 'to each, its own'
And yes Vera, you are timelessly loved!
Omo u berra get with the times ooo… The way forward is to carry belle b4 love and diamond ring is involved….lol.
But seriously… I know if u give my daughter belle u must marry…. even if I have to knock u upside the head and carry ur body to the alter. lol
I love your disclaimer…lol…
The formula has been tested alot recently but it obviously shows that the basis for marriage is being confused. 'Need to know what the men think about this method 🙂
Vera, why do you think that this is a new concept? Just look at our parents and their contemporaries.
Hahahahaha!!! LucidLilith speaks the absolute truth..and this is why she is LUCID!!!