I found two out of my closest friends in Naija on Facebook the other day. Imagine my pleasant surprise. One of them was my best friend [in Naija] and she got married in August. The other one was also really, really close to me, and she got married before my best friend. Anyway, they’re now both married. This wasn’t news to me since we talk on the phone quite often. Although not as often as we used to when I was in Naija, of course. Time and distance has put a damper on our relationship.
Anyway, they’re both married now, and one that got married first now has a child. I was looking at her pictures on Facebook (kai, thank God for Facebook ooo). I saw pictures of her while she was pregnant and pictures of her with her child. It was so weird looking at this chic and her baby. Silly me. All I could think was “I guess she’s no longer a virgin.” LOL. Hey, don’t blame me. I grew up with this gal! Three of us practically grew up together. We went to the same elementary and high school. We grew breasts together and experienced our menarche (first period) together.
Actually, they grew breasts together and experienced their menarche together. I was a late bloomer on all counts. I don’t wanna start thinking about those days that everyone but me had breasts. Oh, the tears I shed! But hey, if they could see me now… hehehehehe *I laugh in Russian* It was traumatizing oh, but don’t let me bore you with my tales of former breastlessness.
As I was saying before I digressed, I was looking at my friends’ pictures on Facebook. I decided to show my mother the pictures to see if she recognized them. My mother and her blunt sef….you won’t believe what she had to say to me.
Mom: *twisting her mouth Naija style* Your friends, aren’t they your age or younger?
Me: *wondering what her point was* Rita (the one with the baby) is my age, but Linda is a year younger than me. Why?
Mom: Your friends that you started out with are married and having children and you you’re here. What are you doing?
Me: *astonished* You’re joking, right?! Mom, please! How can I get a husband when you don’t want to let me out of your sight? [Yes, that is my reason. No, not an excuse, but a REASON]. If I say I’m going to see a movie, you’ll squeeze your face, so how do you expect me to find a husband under such duress? [Yes, I call it duress]
Mom: You don’t go to places where you can find a husband. You go to Funmi’s and Busola’s house.
Okay, I had to laugh out loud. Darn it. Why does she always have to be right??? Come to think of it, I barely go anywhere else and just like Mama Vera said, man no dey for Funmi & Busola house ooo. I have been going to their house for years, and I am yet to meet one eligible bachelor there. I don’t think eligible bachelors live on their street. In fact, I don’t think eligible bachelors live in their zip code sef.
So strategize, I must. Find new friends, I must too. Funmi and Busola are not doing me any good. As soon as I collect my Christmas and birthday gifts, I will ditch them for some new friends. I cannot be friends with people who cannot hook me up with eligible bachelors. *hiss* Wetin sef? Anyway speaking of my birthday, I hope y’ll are preparing?? It’s Jan 14th, baby!
And uhm, feel free to read up on my former breastlessness HERE
FURRRRRSSSSSTTTTT!!!!!
LOOOOOL..Yes plz find new friends!! and tell us how the man hunt is going!!
lmao…my mum also told me to start going out with my married friends…maybe their husband’s friends will see me and marry me….and get me off her hands…
Afrobabe, you took the words right outta my mouth. That’s my theory, really. You should try it.
LMAO @ All I could think was “I guess she’s no longer a virgin.” No be only vigin na immaculate conception. You see person wey don born pikin, you still dey talk about vigin…lol
Merry Christmas, babes!
lol!!!verastic vera can anybody actually put you under duress?lol!!!
off to read about your “breastlessness” hee hee hee!!!
You must be a comedienne in real life. Really, you must be!
You gotta love Nigerian mothers and their true talk. Naturally in my case it’s my dad who’s observed that the friends I hang out with are all married and they don’t seem to have any potentials that I could possibly get to know.
Sad but true!
All I’m getting you for your birthday is wishes of good health. In fact, I’m going to send them to you early! 🙂
No Limit: Congrats oh, my darling.
Ms O: Thank you, my sister. I will find new friends ASAP. Of course, I will gist you as soon as the man hunt proves fertile.
Afrobabe: Busola is married. Funmi isn’t. Either way, man no dey for either of their corner. The thing no dey funny anymore o. lol.
Nefertiti: LOL. My dear, that one na the one wey dey think me for head ooo. I mean, seriously…we used to think of sex and all that. And now, she’s married…with pikin. Na real wa o
No Limit: Yes oh. I can and I have been put under duress. My mother is the person who is responsible for my duress. I don talk my own ooo!
Darius: LOL. I dunno, love. If I am, then lucky me!
Good Naija Girl: Thank you for your wishes of good health, but I will need something tangible. Sebi you hear me so???? Well, I definitely need to find me some new friends. That’s 4 sure!
this babe,they should replace “impossible” in the dictionary with “vera”!!!
So wats our new year resolution going to look like?
Hmm,vera’s bday is coming!!we are all in trouble.lol
hehehehehehehehehehe. *sticking out my tongue at u* i hope funmi and busola read this so they’ll withold ur xmas gifts
If you ditch Funmi and Busola, who go dey there on your wedding day for organising?
I don tag you o. I scheduled that post saw for today and I intend to finish it up. it’s safer to “save a draft” lesson learnt
pele vera its not only you.
my pastor once told me that he will take me out for lunch and not stay with me, he will hang around with his wife in another section of the resturant while darkelcee sits alone…..what does that mean abeg? so that suitors can spot me abi? kai!
LOL!!! Why are people talking about weddings or wedding websites everywhere i go?! Okay Vera, i predict that you are going to meet Mr Right next year in Jesus’ name- AMEN!!!
Compliments of the season girl, and please visit my new blog when you can.
Cheers.
sweets
ya man will come
mothers always worry
Just came back from reading your other blog. You’re just a bloody weirdo Vera. A girl of many parts. Meanwhile good luck with the man-hunt!!! And Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!
LOL your mom sounds a lot like MY mom, the nagging part anyway, my mom lives in Pennsylvania (I’m in Connecticut) so I’m def. out of her sight. (Thank god!!!)
And I’m so with you on ditching friends that can’t provide us with guys to date. What good are they, right??? So I shall do as you do: I will get my Christmas and Birthday gifts (my Birthday is on Dec. 25th hehe go Capricorns!)and then they’re getting the boot. 😉
dont find new friends cos funmi and bisola are the best. strategize and up ur game. ur mum is right. she’s been there, done that, had you, and owns the t shirt. so listen young lady[whew]. im sure u will be fine though. just up ur game sistren
Do what other people are doing….go online to make new friends. You never know, don’t knock it until you try it. Btw- that Baltimore get as e be…maybe you should move.
Sorry…Vera, I meant to post my name not anonymous
Your Mum is funny lol….
I wish you a merry christmas and a successful man-hunting season in 2009.
babes over boys!!!!
because, as everyone knows, bad boys bring bastard babies… lol. actuall the original of this said ‘books’ before boys, but this works too.
how can u abandon ur friends for the search? you should search with the girls, that way you guys can cover a wider range… 😛
LMAO. My dear, when you find that place that the eligibles are hanging out at, let me know o.
Hilarity thy name is Vera. You are too funny o. So you wan ditch your two friends cuz they no get potential husbands for you. Shebi Funmie is not married yet abi she has a potential ni? You two can go and find husbands together.
Pele dearie. Friends getting married and having Babies…chei… I am getting nervous…Thank God I dont have a lot of female friends. So where are you going to get new friends ehn? Do let me know what your strategy is cuz me self need a husband soonest, this aunties are beggining to ask questions.
u wld actually ditch ur friends after taking their gifts from dem, hmm…u wicked o! And na for man too? lol!
i hate it wen my mom is ryt!
QMoney: LOL. Hahahaha. You’re crazy! My birthday wishlist is not even long or impossible. And no, impossible should not be replaced with Vera. I am possible oo. Very easy-going babe like this.
Rayo: They fittn’t!!! Withold my gifts?!?! Pesin go wound oooo.
Standtall: LOL. Yeah, girl. Don’t even schedule for post until you have completed it. I was wondering what happened. LOL. You tagged me ehn? Who gave you the right?
Dark Elcee: Hahahahaha. Market don bad reach that level? Hahaha. That is funny!
The Boob Sistas: Amen!!!! Amen!!!!!!!!!! Amen!!!!!!!! Did I shout it enough? LOL. Tis the season to be joyfully wed (and married). I go love o
Ibiluv: Thanks, darling. I dey wait for am.
Doug: LOL. You call me a weirdo one more time, I’ll deal with you! How dare you? LOL. Anyway, I take that as a compliment. And merry Xmas to you too.
Saturn Moonie: You go girl!! See, that’s why I like you. You think like me. Capricorn huh? And a Xmas baby even? Girl. We need to think of new ways to meet men. Ways that exclude our friends. LOL.
Jaguda: Come oh. Did Funmi and Busola pay you to come here and tell me they’re the best? LOL. Anyway, I will certainly restrategize. But na for where pesin go go find man?
Rosie: No be say you talk am o. Baltimore really get as e be. But God musto manufacture a man for me here in Bmore. I don’t know how he will do it, but he will surely do it.
Joicee: Thank you, my love. I will search successfully in Jesus’ name. Amen!!
Geisha Song: I should search with the girls??? Tufia kwa! What if we have our eyes on the same person? Mba o. They will do their own search while I do mine.
Original Mgbeke: Haha. You too dey find wetin I dey find ehn? Okay, I will surely let you know. But that is after I get my own man ooo
Temite: I don’t have a strategy yet o. But I will certainly come up with one ASAP. No, Funmi is not married yet, but you see, that is part of the problem. Her manlessness sef is affecting me. lol.
Just Toluwa: LOL. Yes ooo! I would totally ditch my friends for a man….after taking their gifts. Why shall I shy? LOL. Girl, don’t even get me started on the mother being right thing.
i just read the post u linked..hahahahahahahahaha! jeez..
well, i guess u need to go into the same praying n fasting mode u went into back then..ur husband will come!
I say we start tackling random men 😉 I’m sure one of them will be interested…or too scared to say no to us. (Especially after the concussion we give them with the aforementioned tackle) 😛
Me lie ke
Standtall: Yes you, lie. Yeah, I said it!
had a similiar conversation with my mom today about friends and weddings
lol
Kafo: Really? So how did it feel being “insulted” by mom? LOL. Unless, of course, yours was the good kind.
Standtall: lol to you too.
Vera I think you need to move back to naija. Honestly within a week you will get 5 marriage proposals. There are lots of single men in Lagos o!
Onyedika: There are many reasons I would love to move back to Naija, but I don’t want my search for a husband to be one of them. Besides, I’m not ready 2 move back. There are several things I still need 2 accomplish/