Funms, sebi you dey hear me so??? Yes, I walked.
I’ve always loved taking walks. I think it releases endorphins. Maybe I’m wrong, but I love it. Haven’t been taking walks in the past… oh, I don’t know…. yeah, eight years! I’ve walked in the past eight years, but only when I’ve needed to – not for pleasure. Been planning on walking since last week, but I’ve been scared of ojuju catching me (I’ll explain later what I consider as ojuju).
So on Sunday, I did it. I was going to walk at 7:00 PM, but the sun was still out and burning bright. Since I didn’t want to bake or roast, I decided to wait. So I waited till 9:10 PM. It was getting dark, but not completely dark. Armed with my mp3 player, my keys, and my dysfunctional blackberry (that keeps deleting my call records & text messages), I began my walk. As soon as I started, I met ojuju #1.
Ojuju #1: Insects. I hate the flipping tiny, little suckers. They fly everywhere, hover over my head, get in my face (almost in my nose sef), and then have the audacity to perch on me. What insolence! And those little flying insects that have flashing green lights… oh, what I would do to crush every single one of them.
But I kept walking. Twisting my waist here, gyrating my hips there. I kept on walking. Styling and profiling. Okay, maybe I’m exxagerating, but the walk was sweet sha. I admired the trees. Silently praised God for His awesomeness. Bracket was singing “Ada Owerri” in my ears. It took everything in me to not start dancing on the streets. Kept walking. Noticed things I hadn’t noticed before. Like a sign that says they’ll be building stores around the area. Maybe I should call and rent a store for blogging. America is already in debt. What difference will it make if I file bankruptcy at this point? I drive on that road about five days a week, but I only noticed the sign today. Everything was great until I saw ojuju #2.
Ojuju #2: A big, white dog that looked more like a polar bear – with a long, furry, white tail, of course. It was running alone on the opposite side of the road. I don’t do dogs. I love them as long as they’re mine. This polar bear that called itself a dog was not mine, so I froze right where I was standing. Some day I’ll blog about my beef with dogs. Not today. This post is long enough as it is. Funny enough, the girl on the other side of the street (where the dog was) also froze when she spotted the animal. We looked at each other and laughed, strangers with a familiar fear. Then we kept walking, glancing at each other every few seconds and exchanging nervous smiles.
That dog messed up my flow. Made me want to turn back. But I kept walking. Was determined to come back and tell Funms that I walked. The dog was ahead of me, so I kept my eyes on it. Didn’t seem harmful or unfriendly, but I’m human, and that dog – no matter its color or its cuteness – was still a darn dog. Who even owned the dog?? People should not let their dogs run around like that doggonit!
Eventually, it made a right turn while I continued straight. I kept glancing back, trying to make sure it didn’t come back out. I was getting comfortable, and then I spotted it again. Oh, that was just it! I had had it. I turned around and started walking back home. That’s where I met Ojuju #3.
Ojuju #3: I was walking on the right side of the road, so cars were coming up behind me. I was very, very paranoid. That was my ojuju. Kept feeling like a car would knock my elbow off. Don’t blame me. My mother instilled that fear in me when I was young. “Don’t walk close to the road; a car will knock your hand off.” Same reason I never bring my hand out of the window while I’m driving. A car will knock it off. So I kept glancing back every few seconds, watching out for cars and my furry enemy. Then ojuju #4 came along.
Ojuju #4: Some African-American man in a car stopped by. Had to happen at some point, right? Don’t remember the kind of car, but I think it was either gold or brown. I think he had a baby at the backseat. I might be wrong. It was dark.
Man: **He said something I didn’t hear. Was listening to music**
Me: What? [Took my earphones off]
Man: You need a ride?
Me: No, thanks.
Man: Can I call you?
Me: No.
Man: Can you call me?
Well, I just put my earphones back on and kept walking. Rubbish. It’s all my fault. I bothered to give him audience. When I was almost home, Electric Slide came up on my mp3 player (Yes, I have the electric slide on my mp3 player. That’s how much I love that stuff!). I wiggled a little bit while I was on the road. It was too hard to resist. It took all the self-control I had not to slide my brown butt back home. Made it back home at 9:47 PM. Thiry-seven minutes. Not bad. Will walk longer next time, hopefully.
Lessons Learned:
* Leave home a bit earlier – between 8 and 8:30 PM
* Don’t wear slippers next time. Athletic shoes will work best.
* Take “sheltox” along (insecticides, for those that are not Nigerians). Thou shall spray every little bugger that comes thy way.
* Take a baseball bat in case you run into the likes of ojuju #2 and ojuju #3
So yeah, I finally walked.
P.S. I’m still receiving e-mails/texts for the upcoming radio show www.blogtalkradio.com/verastic Topic is “Dates: Whose Bill Is It Anyway?” Send me your questions about it. Or if you have stories about going on dates and having a payment-confusion situation, please send them!! Won’t mention your name on the show. Thanks, darlings!! radio@verastic.com 443-934-9039
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BUMIGHT IS BIZACKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!
yeah, who goes walking at 9:00pm, thank God u didnt meet ojuju #5, lol
Congrats on walking! I can't wait to hear about your other adventures (given that it's you we're talking about, there will be adventures!).
OH but Ada Owerri na my song oh! all their songs na tom uto ewoooo lol I'm glad you walked! he he he
Lol at ojuju 3 – well done o! Yeah wearing slippers/ flip flops is a no no. Trainers and sandals are best
P.s
Vera I noticed u wrote on my network blog wall on facebook. It is not that I've been too rude to reply…I just don't have access to log into the account anymore. I don e-mail facebook sotai and still nothing. I can't even delete it.
I was going to reply with my real facebook account but decided against that.
Please no vex sha
@bumight – first ke? After your hiatus…HOW?!!!
i am scared of dogs oh, i can stand very tiny pupies tho. thank God u ended ur walk safely
so u finally walked good for u..
lol @ ojuju..haven't heard dat word in a while..
Nice one, Vee. Funny how you can make something as 'boring' as breathing sooooooo interesting. I jus gat one question though …
*ahem!* *clearing throat* Was Mr. Shoes by any chance, a partaker/partner in this walk?! *wink*
all dese your Ojujus sef…see you carrying baseball bat…better chill, before they carry you away for cruelty to animals
lol na those ones you call ojuju. I for do the electric slide small. its good you walked, hope you make it a habbit. At least you enjoyed it…
Spotted: Vera Ezimora walking down the park with a big can of Sheltox spray lawl.
I need to get walking too, missed it.
I love puppies (puppies oh, small dogs, not those huge wolf-like looking ones…NO)
for ojuju number 1, use insect repellent, be environmentally friendly Vera…
Some of us talk a walk everyday, so i`m am trying to get myself to start running (if i can find a partner)
ADA OWERRI kwenu!
.. i just started walking and i listened to ada owerri too sadly i dint have the self control you did so i danced on the road.
The Ojuju sef wan follow touch future LOLO now…. No vex for them!
this post reminds me of Carlang's early morning run, i loved that post…it is always nice to walk, i walked recently but in my brand new shoes, i had a bloody inspection that day when i chose to look super fly, of course i was blessed with blisters afterwards…i owe radioVera a mail
yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so glad you walked and even for over 30minutes….great! yep, athletic shoes are best cuz i know very soon u will start jogging, and then running….. You can also buy fitflops…. they are great for running and tone your legs also…. so solutions to the ojujus
1. use mosquito repellent before leaving the house
2. carry sausage or any kind of meat for the dog in case it decides to chase u…but wait o, dogs in ur area no get owner?
3. dont walk too close to the road and always face on-coming traffic. that way you will know before they hit u…lol
4. pls let the admirers be jare…whoknows who u can meet…. esp if ur wearing sexy shorts…hehehehe
so when next r u going walking
lol@ all your ojujus
I went walking the other day too but mine was way earlier in the day so no 'ojujus'. I was jamming wande coal and me i was dancing and walking oh. I shall walk again today.
Hope this gets you back in ur walking groove.
lol@ the ojujus. 9:10pm? wasnt that late? My dear, nothing do you…you for don begin dey gyrate to the song (I'll know, i do that).
i liked the dialogue with the AA
thot of walking on a treadmill? that way u wont encounter all these ojuju's. lol!!
funny post Vera. 🙂
Bumight: Yay!!!!!!!! Babe, I don miss you tire for here oh. In short, blogging has not been the same since you left. I almost quit sef, but God begged me. My dear, 9:00 PM wasn't dark now! How was I supposed to know I will meet all those ojujus?
Good Naija Girl: LOL. My dear, it's not my fault oo. But you see, this is all the fun and social life that I have: walking & blogging. LOL
Anonymous: LOL. I love Ada Owerri too! I'm not from Owerri, but nothing spoil. The song na to'm uto too. 🙂
Shubby Doo: LOL. Babe, I no dey vex don't worry. Replying comments isn't exactly the easiest thing to do, so no worry. Nothing spoil. Poor you; you can't even retrieve your password? Aww. Sorry, love. That's annoying innit? Anyways, I'm definitely doing trainers next time. I don't know how Bumight did it either. The babe is tooooo much!
Yinkuslolo: I don't like dogs that are not mine men. I don't even care their size. If it's not mine, I don't wanna have anything to do with it. Yeah, I'm grateful that I ended my walk safely too.
BBB: Yes oooo, I finally walked and it was um um good (with the exception of the ojujus, of course). You haven't heard that word in a while, huh? LOL.
Purple Streak: Hahaha. See me thinking you have better question to ask sef. And no, Mr. Shoes was not part of it – unfortunately. He was there in spirit though cos I think we had a few conversations. LOL
Scribble. Me. Free: Carry a whole me away? For where? Dem wan steal am? They no fit!!! I'm not gonna be chasing any animals; they (the animals) just need to stay the heck away from me and we'll both be very happy.
BSNC: Yeah, I really did enjoy the walk. I might do it today. Was gonna do it yesterday, but the weather was unusually cold.
30+: LOL. Make una spot me all you want. I garra garra protect myself, you know. LOL. You should totally walk too. Good stuff.
Chayoma: Ada Owerri kwezuo nu!! Ehen… babe, those big dogs are scary. People should really not leave them to wander the streets. So not cool. You wanna take up running? Awww. Last time I ran was when I was in JSS1 or JSS2. It'd be nice to do that again sha. Just too lazy. But one step @ a time, I guess.
Reverence: Ah, nothing do you!! I'm glad you danced on the road. In short, I fit vex go do my own dance too oh. Why shall I shy?
Bagucci: I vex oh! I vex well well. Sebi it's because I didn't have my palace guards with me abi? Make them take time ooo! Next time, I can't promise to be so lenient. Hehehe.
Baroque: LOL @ the blisters. Why would you run in your brand new shoes? Only you oh, Baroque. So gi! You owe radio verastic a mail? Well, send it on down!! 🙂 I dey wait. I'm getting all giddy sef.
Funms: LOL!!!!! You're something else. I should let the admirers be abi? Me, I don't want to be admired like that. Let him buy me a range rover first, then we can talk. Hehehe. Fitflops, huh? Never heard of them. I'll google them and see. LOL @ the sausage suggestion. Somehow I think that might backfire. Haha. I'll see how today goes. I might walk this evening too.
Repressed One: I hope it gets me back in my walking groove too. I had a lotta fun walking 9wuth the exception of the ojujus, of course), so I hope I'll do it more often. It's good stuff. You were jamming to Wande Coal, huh? Na you biko.
NaijaGirl: Yeah, 9:00 PM was kinda late, but it wasn't dark yet (cause we now have longer days & shorter nights), so I decided to walk anyway since I had promised myself that I will walk. LOL @ the dialogue. The man was just something else.
Tigeress: I've walked on a treadmill before. Sooooooo boring. The only thing I like about it is the safety (no ojujus and cars driving by me). Other than that… *yawns*
Ah, you finally did it? Congrats! You need to drive down over here so we can go for a walk. Would drive to you, but my 3 ogas will limit how far I go sometimes.
And as for guys slowing down your walk, well, if you don't like that happeneing, I warn you it would happen here as well. lol!
Ah walking…I love talking walks
Don´t mind those ojujus trying to mess it up for you.
lol…African men.hmmmmmm.
can't wait for the talk show!
Hehehe! At least you learned some lessons. Walking at 9pm?? Kai, SA has made me über paranoid..can't go out of my house on foot after 6pm!
sweetie, no be run i run oh, na waka i waka within my office premises…suffer…i go try send that mail soon
lollol, you and your ojuju…..lollol
Anyway, good thing that you walk though, maybe I go start to do copycopy…lol
xxx
Hahaha..tew funny!, thank God u made it home in one piece.
Solomon Syndelle: You want me to drive allllll the way there for a walk? Ah, by the time I drive down there, I won't even have any energy left for walking. But wait oh. If I do come, will you cook? You did promise to cook for me, remember?
Joicee: Abi ooo! Yeye ojujus. They just wanna discourage me, but it won't work for them.
Sweet Nothin: I can't wait for the talk show either! I'm sweating a little bit, but I'll be fine. LOL
Buttercup: LOL. Really? Is it that bad? One thing I do appreciate here is being able to drive at night without being worried about armed robbers et al.
Baroque: LOL. Naija roads can kill any1's shoes any time. I think we ought to cushion our shoes with some cottons balls or something because those roads can damage one's shoes beyond repair/recognition. And yes, biko, send that mail. I'm looking forward to it.
Sassy Trends: Oh, knock yourself out boo. Walking is really a lot of fun (for me anyway), but I'd just rather not run into any kind of animal.
Beulah: Abi oooo! Thank God indeed. If that polar bear had come close to me, it woulda shredded me to bits.
MI5…. Coming to a blog near you.. Let the rumble begin!
LOL @ ur ojujus, esp the polar bear dog…I need to start walking 2 oh…
Somehow (i dont know how,lol) i always end up at the trailing end of the comments list. Mehhn, ihe nke a dila serious.
Vera, you didn't meet Ojuju Calabar as well? That's the one mumsie used to scare us with back then. lol
I prefer Bracket's Yori-yori shaa, you know now… I'm with you my lovy-lovy… Heehehehe!
I should totally start taking walks myself…
How u been babe? Welldone with the radio thingy…
Can't wait for the radio! Saved it in bookmarks on my internet explorer.
Don't sweat the dogs! Most dogs are lovely when they get a little loviedovie.
Thank you so much for your comment on my blog, I was honored…:)
Waiting for the radio show! Plugged in a reminder.
Loved Ojuju no 4
So ojuju didn't get you. Kai my ojuju no try oh. lol
Warris happening babe, shebi i said i was gonna call u abi, no vex. na ur blogger god son no gree me,