By now, even people who live under a rock must have heard about the Malaysian Flight 370 that literally went missing on its way to Beijing. And the question on every logical person’s mind is, which native doctor did they use to make the plane disappear, and what else can he make disappear? Can he disappear pot bellies? Can he make my ex’s new flame disappear into thin air – or better yet, turn into a tuber of yam? Can he make my debt just go away? I wonder.
I have watched with interest – albeit regret – how this missing plane has caught international attention. It seems like CNN talks about the missing plane every 30 minutes, and who can blame them? It’s baffling. How can a bird that’s bigger than a house and carrying 239 passengers and crew members just disappear with no trace? But this isn’t the first time that a plane has disappeared though. In 2009, Air France flight 447 was on its way from Rio de Janeiro to Paris when it plunged into the Atlantic midway without sending a distress signal and all 228 people aboard were killed.
But the thing is, it took two years just to find the black box and 3 years to figure out what even caused the crash (a speed censor got clogged with ice at high altitude). And this is for a plane whose crashing site they even knew about. So how long will it take for this Malaysian plane whose location they don’t know about to be found? The search crew might not even be in the vicinity of its location – assuming it isn’t currently in another galaxy.
But I digress. The point is that while the Malaysian officials don’t seem to be completely aware of what is happening or maybe just don’t want to divulge what they know, I commend them for being better than my own officials in Nigeria. Do you know what will happen if this was a Nigerian airline?
First of all, there might be no speech from the President. But there will be lots of news of Dame Patience traveling and needing the entire State to shut down because her royal highness is passing by. All hail the queen. Secondly, if and when the officials finally do leave their busy schedules to talk about the missing plane, it would go something like …
“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Let us not tarnish the image of Nigeria by acting as if this is a new thing. After all, planes have missed and crashed before. Even if a terrorist is responsible, is there any country that has not experienced terrorism? The great America has experienced terrorism, so how much more, Nigeria? We should all continue to pray that God will expose the enemy and show us the location of the plane and all the people inside. If you have heard from any of the missing people, please ask them where they are.”
Kpom kwem.
Which way, Nigeria?
Berry Dakara says
BUAHAHAHAHAHA @ the speech – because it’s exactly what could be said.
ReviewNaija says
“ask them where they are”…hilarious but so sad!
Vera Ezimora says
Tehehe. Thank you, ReviewNaija!
Vera Ezimora says
Abi oh, Berry. That’s what makes it ridiculous.
Pendo says
LOL!!! I had a feeling you would blog about this. This has got to be one of the greatest mysteries of our time I can’t imagine how the family members are feeling right now my heart goes out to them. But remember there was that lady who was flying round the world solo in the early 1900s Amelia Earhart whose plane disappered and has never been found. Now for Madam Peace aka Patience Jonathan why on earth do they have to close down the airspace for her? Do other countries close their airspace when she travels there? So much lost revenue they should just build a special airport for her so that planes can land and depart on time what nonsense!
Vera Ezimora says
Pendo, yes, I remember Amelia’s case. I remember watching a documentary of her one time? Don’t remember how it ended. I know she disappeared for a long time, but I don’t remember now that they still haven’t found her. That’s crazy. So flipping crazy. Per Patience, my dear, leave that one. I don’t think any sane person will ever understand it.
Sisi Yemmie says
I still can’t believe that a whole plane is missing! LOL @ your post! I’m loving your new blog layout
Vera Ezimora says
Sisi, I don’t understand it either ooo. The thing tire me. Yay for the layout. Thanks!
Oluwaseun says
hi Vera! this is really a nice write up. It is a kind of write up that needs to trend and go viral on the internet so that some of the so called leaders could get their eyes on it. I am definetly going to put this on my blog with a link back to you. Thanks for the anticipating permission granted.
Vera Ezimora says
Oluwaseun, permission granted! Thank you for reading. I’m glad you like it.
gabe says
I mean seriously. One plane? The $20 billion missing in nigeria could, according to sahara reporters buy us 40 new extremely fast electric trains ( we could buy like 5 and use d rest to lay new tracks) leapfrogging us from d stone age of rail transport. Or like 4 new state of the art hospitals treating everything and researching more or like 5 new universities, each bigger than UNN or UI in terms of facilities n size. Or take d minister of petroleum resources flight bills per annum- a nice round N10 billion to maintain a private jet hired for her leisure. NNPC was denying it until the House of Reps found she had hired ANOTHER plane. Or the hundreds of lives lost weekly to boko haram and fulani herdsmen, people some politicians want our govt to negotiate with and grant pardon for killing so many….ok u get d gist. But forgive our insensitivity. We r used to big things missing.
deaduramilade says
Hian. It’s been a while since I came here. I like your new layout
Anyways, that speech is spot on.
And this thing still baffles me. A whole aeroplane, with hundreds of people. Gone without trace