On Saturday, the 20th of June 2009, Mr. Shoes and his family suffered a loss. They lost a wife and a mother. Mr. Shoes lost his mother. I tried several times before today to put this post up since the unfortunate incident, but each time I tried, my words failed me. I still feel like they’re failing me right now, but I have to do this. It’s taking too long already.
Over and over, I wondered, what do I say to Mr. Shoes? What does one say to a man who has lost the first woman he ever loved? ‘Sorry?‘ ‘I’m sorry?‘ I don’t know what one says. I don’t know what one should say. I don’t know what I should have said, or what I should say now. If tears could wake the dead, she’d be back here right now.
It’s sad how people’s terms change when they pass on. I remember when my Uncle George passed six years ago. Suddenly, he stopped being ‘George’ and became ‘the body‘ and ‘the cargo.’ Six years after his passing, I am still not over it. One can never really get over the loss of someone dear. I’ve had six years to mourn over it, and I’m still not done. The Shoes’ family has had only two weeks.
Death is never convenient. Mommy Shoes’ death was inconvenient. If she had left us three decades from now, her death will still be inconvenient, but maybe, just maybe we’d feel better if it were three decades later. She’d be a little older. A little wiser. A lot more experienced – with more grey hairs to tell tales of life lived, things seen, and things done. Maybe then I’d know what to say. Maybe then, my words will not fail me.
I am aware that God is the beginning and the end. The Alpha and Omega. I know that He is an all-knowing God, a God that never makes mistakes. But still I dare to wonder…why now and why her? Why her and why now? This is a question I know I will not get an answer to until I meet Him in Glory (when I am 114 years old).
To the Shoes family, I wish God’s comfort in this trying time. I wish them the strength to bear this burden. I wish them peaceful sleep at night. And I pray that Mommy Shoes’ memory brings comfort and peace to those she left behind.
To Mr. Shoes, once again my words fail me. I don’t know what to say or how to say it. But whatever you need me to do, I will do. And whatever you need me to be, I will be.
May the sweet, loving, gentle soul of Mommy Shoes rest in perfect peace, Amen.
Amen from my end too. Pls do cheer up, cos there's a reason for everything good or bad in life. I pray that God gives them the fortitude to bear the loss and be a mother and a strong rock for him and his family as His word assures us.
oh my God vera, this is really heartbreaking……i dont know what to say either but i pray God will give the shoes family comforts at this time
A big amen to your prayer as well. Amen!
This is a beautiful tribute.
I do wish the family every comfort at this time, and may the knowledge that they will meet Mama Shoes again provide some comfort.
Amen to your prayers.
…My sincere n' deepest condolences. I never know what to say either…I jst want to hug people….and say I'm here for u.
my condolences.
My dear Vera,my condolences to Mr shoes and his entire family. The loss of a loved one is so painful!I pray God comforts their family in this trying period.
May the souls of the faithful departed..rest in perfect peace. Amen.
Vera..just be there for Mr shoes..I am sure he will need you…
Take care.
beautiful post Vera! and I pray for God to be with Mr. Shoes' family at this time. A lot of things are unexplainable but we Thank God for God… and We Thank God for what we have… I join you in wishing the Shoes' family God's comfort
may she rest in perfect peace, amen
May God give our living mothers strenght and our departed ones rest. And may our families have the grace to appreciate the living and fortitude to bear the losses…
Been a while Vera…
My condolences…
losing a loved one is heard to bear…the pain never seems to go away!
Condolences from the Bagucci clan!
Amen. I pray mummy rests in perfect peace.
Amen! God comfort Mr. Shoes and his family.
Oh wow, words certainly did not fail you, this was well written. I can imagine how you don't know what to say to him, but I really do hope her memory brings them peace.
My condolences. May her soul RIP.
Big Heart: Thanks, babe. I will do my best to be whatever he needs me to be @ this time. So help me God.
Cici: Thank you, babe!! I'm sure the Shoes family will appreciate it.
Nice Anon: Dalu nwa nne'm. Imeka.
Good Naija Girl: Thank you, love!!!! I hope Mr. Shoes likes the tribute as much as you do. And AMEN!
UnderCover07: Yeah, I know. One never quite prepares for times like this, you know? I guess I'll just have to give him hugs then? 🙂
Yinkuslolo: Thank you!!
Ms. Dufa: Thank you, darling. I pray God uses me as an instrument in Mr. Shoes' life.
Dante: Thanks a lot, my dear. I will try my best to be there for him. I pray for God to give me the strength and the wisdom.
Dale T: Thank you!!! One thing death does is remind us that we are still living, and therefore still have hope. It reminds us of how fragile life is, and how we are only here by the grace of God. Thank you.
Seamstress: Thanks, darling. AMEN!!!!
Naughty Eyes: Thanks a lot for your prayer! Too nice. I know it's been a while. My dear, I lost my blog roll. I'm trying to redo it now.
Chayoma: You're right. Losing a loved is always very difficult. The pain, in my opinion, is not one that ever goes away with time.
Danny: Thank you very much to the Bagucci clan.
Funmie: Amen. Thanks, boo.
Brokeass: Thank you, love.
Tay-Mee: Thanks a lot, babe. I surely do hope my words are a little bit okay. God knows best really…
Tigeress: Amen. Thank you, love.
RIP Mr.shoes mummy.
May her soul rest in the bossom of our Lord.
awwwww
RIP Mammy Shoes!
I guess you can only be there and offer comfort. XOXO
May God give the Shoes family the fortitude to bear the loss. Just be loving eventually, it gets easier.
Heartfelt condolence to Mr Shoes.. Just be there for him, may God comfort and keep him and his family..
My prayers are with him and his family.
so sorry to read about this 🙁
pls give Mr shoes plenty of support and hugs. u dont have to say anything or much..am sure he will appreciate ur presence…
it is well
awwww, so sorry to hear that…wish you all the best through a time like this. may god be with you
Vera, Mama Shoes's death is a huge loss to all of us. She will be greatly missed by all. I pray God to continue blessing the family and friends she left behind. She was such a beauty both inside and out ( what do you expect she was an Ada-Ide).
I feel sorry she was not there to see you and Mr Shoes grow in what God has started in both of you. I bet you Vera you missed, she is the type of woman every lady will pray to have as a mum-in-law. We enjoyed her motherly love the last time she visited.
Most importantly she died a Christian, for her to live or die is gain. She has gone to be with the Lord!
Vera, my prayer is that God gives you all the fortitude to endure these trying times, and may her soul rest in perfect peace.
Sassy Trends: Amen!! Thanks a lot, boo.
Temite: Yes, indeed, that seems to be the most I can do at this point. Comfort and prayers. The rest is up to God. He alone can give the ultimate comfort.
Luscious Ron: Thank you, dear Attorney of mine! I sure do hope that it will eventually get better.
One + The One: Thank you! I will be as present as I possibly can @ this point. Thanks, love.
Rosie: Thanks, babe!! Mr. Shoes & his family appreciate…!
Aloted: Thanks a lot my sis! I will do the best that I can. I'm glad you commented on my blog. Been meaning to get your link back (I lost my blogroll).
Sweet Nothin: Thank you, love. Every disappointment is a blessing. I'm believing that somewhere in this disappointment, a blessings lies within. Amen.
Anonymous: Awww. Thank you!! It surely is unfortunate that we didn't get better acquainted, but God knows best, right? Like you rightly said, she died a Christian, and she has gone to be with the Lord. We love her, but God loves her more. Thank you…!! 🙂
Kemberly: Thank you!!!!! Mr. Shoes has read this post and the comments, and he is very pleased.
May God give them the strength they need at this time…
May her soul rest in perfect peace AMEN….
There are times when nothing you say seem enough to soothe the pain.
At such times, it may be better to shut up and just be there.
May her soul rest in perfect peace. My baby daddy's mommy, its so unfortunate that i did not get to meet her.
Sad and emotional.May God grant her peaceful rest…
My sincere condolences to Mommy shoes, this is so sad to hear. I pray that her soul will rest in perfect peace…amen!
MyStoriesMyTestimonies: AMEN. Thank you so much. As you have written, so shall it be. Amen. Thanks.
Anonymous1: I concur. Considering that words are never enough, an sometimes, all our mouth does is say the wrong things @ the wrong time, it is sometimes better to just shut the heck up.
Anonymous2: Abi ooo! No kwamps. We'll all meet some day. Has your baby daddy paid the child support yet?
Trybes: Yeah, I know. Thanks a lot for your kind words.
Original Mgbeke: Dalu oh, Nne. We all pray her soul rests in perfect peace.
@ Vera: You're welcome. I hope the prayers helped.
On another note, I thought this post was supposed to be solemn eh? Then you has to go and ask Anon 2 about child support! You this gal sef, no make me burst laugh for middle of funeral oh!!!!
PS: Is it just me or does anyone else out there also find it quirky calling the dearly departed "Mammy Shoes"?
I pray God comforts Mr Shoes and his family and that they rest in the comfort that she has gone to be with the Lord!
Hope you are ok Vera…take care and big hugs
eeeyah, hope you found a way of expressing your condolences to Mr. Shoe eventually?
May Her Soul Rest in Peace…. (AMEN)
Naughty Eyes: LOL. It's still solemn now! Funny you mention bursting out laughing @ a funeral. I've always feared that I might do something like that. It really helps to laugh, you know. As for calling Mom "Mammy Shoes," well, she's cool like that… so why not?? 🙂
Write Freak: Oh, I'm okay. It's the Shoes family that I'm worried about. Thanks for your prayers, honey. I hope it brings them some sort of peace – even if just a little.
Standtall: I really don't know if I have. I keep feeling I haven't done enough. Feel like I could do more.
London Buki: Thank you, darling. I know you know what he and his siblings are going through.
Sorry the previous message wasnt for you. I knw u will feel you haven't done enough but your best is enough sweetie. Pele