Him: Are you married?
Me: No.
Him: So you’re single?
Me: Yeah.
Him: Are you into men?
Me: What…?!
Him: Do you like men?
Me: Excuse me?
Him: I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to offend you… I was just… I just didn’t wanna come out straight and ask if you are straight. I mean you look straight…
Me: I have a boyfriend (do not question me about the veracity of this statement; thank you very much!)
Him: Oh. So you’re seeing someone then?
Me: Yes.
Him: You’re a very pretty lady. Again, I apologize if I offended you.
See me see wahala ooo! I still don’t know what this guy was attempting to do: flirt with me? Strike up a conversation? Satisfy his curiosity? Dumbfound me? Well, he sure did dumbfound me, and not in a good way.
This is how you know the world don kpafuka finish (is spoilt). Whatever happened to the good ol’ days when you just approached someone and flirted with him/her or asked him/her out? Now, you have to wonder if the person is into men, women, both, neither, or possibly animals sef. Mama mia! I have never, ever been asked if I was into men. What do people who are into men look like? I mean, he said I look like I’m into men, so what do women who are into men look like?
It was funny the way he started stammering. I guess he read the look on my face. I know he did not mean any harm by the question, but is there really any way to ask, “are you into men?” without being offensive? That’s almost as bad as rubbing a woman’s tummy and asking her when she’s due, only to find out she’s not even pregnant. How pesin go fit remove for dat kin situation (how does one escape that kind of situation)?
Anyhoo, I have no other choice than to be into men. Let’s face it: you women are just toooooo much to handle. You bleed and PMS once a month (sometimes twice), you never have enough shoes, bags, and clothes, you are too sensitive, you are overly dramatic, you think too much about everything and over analyze every situation, you always think you are fat, you always think someone is talking about you, you’re so darn petty, you read between non existent lines, you don’t seem to know what you want in a man until you have your heart broken a few times, you talk too much (shut the heck up!), you listen to Beyonce and Oprah way too much … sheesh the list goes on.
So yeah, come on boys … you’re just what the doctor ordered. 🙂
P.S. Thanks to all those who voted for me in the Naija Bloggers Awards competition. I was nominated in five categories, and I walked away with two awards. Thanks!!! To all those who didn’t vote for me… in your face… ha!!! LOL. Now, voting has begun for Category B, so biko, go and vote for ya gal! I was nominated in 5 categories. I will put up an acceptance speech when the whole thing is over. Why not, if not?
1111
of course u like men vera… ashewo oshi
lol……… the guy wanted to be sure… u know this is 2009…. btw, bf?????????/ tell us more o……
im 2nd!!!!!!!!!!!
ooooo…im not first!
ok second!!
o sorry…im third!
looool…vera..u sed u wer single b4, after the offensive question u then had a boifrend?lol
nd btw…i dont really think there is anyway of asking if someone in gay or straight and it wont be offensive o..lol…dats such a funny convo tho!
Congrats verastic vera on ur awards!
okay Gee u r officially on my list
it seems i am getting everywhere after u
hmmm
oh my word
u r right Vera, the world is going to hell so fast, i mean he just came out and asked like that in the first minute
wow
TOP 10…woo!…poor guy was jst trying not to waste his time. Boys need to know now staraight up. But they say that the hottest girls are into wome so take it as a compliment Vera…lol
x!
Mayb u hang out wth dem busola n funmi 2 much,ppl r begining 2 tnk ur gay.
Err… The dude was just checking all the bases to be darn sure….So his ‘lyrics’ won’t get wasted! That’s a new question I also need to add to my list when I finally get back into the game!
So Vera, are u into men? *wink*
Funmie: Nonsense! How dare you even come here to claim first???
Funms: Ah, see your mouth! You too like gist. I have been claiming boyfriend since naaaa! Whether I get am or not is not an issue. If it seems like a man whom I'm not interested in wasnts to flirt, I simply say I have a bf.
Gee: Wetin man pikin 4 do na?? Abi I shoulda told him I didn't have a bf so he woulda started flirting with me? Mba oo. LOL. Thanx on the congratulatory message.
Kafo: My dear, I tremble @ how fast we're going 2 hell too. And yes, he just came by and asked me the question like that. No warning sef.
Bob-IJ: Well, since you put it that way, I am now flattered. I now expect more men to ask me if I'm into men. If not, wahala dey ooO! They musto tell me why they don't find me hot. Hehe.
Miz-Cynic: Hmmmm. That woulda been true oh, but this guy is African American and hss never seen any of my friends (not to talk of me with them) and I have not even been hanging with Funmi & Busola lately. Been tryna grow up, you know… lol.
Just DB: LOL. Abi ooo! So now you have a new quesiton 4 ur list ehn? Oga oh. I'm glad to have helped anytime.
Smaragd: LOL. Very funny. Send your bf over to me and find out. hehe.
Of course you like men….lol!!!
So as you’re eloquently not a ‘woman wrapper’.. that would make you a man ‘boxers right’?!
yay for top 20!
there is NO proper way to ask someone if they are into men… the guy just shot himself in the foot… a confident guy would still toast u like, ” u might be into girls but i know you some of this”
the ‘are you pregnant’ question will get u everytime men. i SHOULD know better yet i found myself congratulating my aunt on what turned out to be a stomach full of eba!
Congrats babe…I am soooooo vexing, I got only one…tot I would win intellectual blog….mchewwww.
But really, are you into men?
Which kind kwesion be dat? You like man so tey your blog na so fellatus we dey see when we go to google!
Hehehe don’t mind me. Pele I would like to see that happen in Nigeria. I will laugh so much people will wonder if I have been visited by an act of God!
congratulations again on ur awards.. i cant imagine the look on the guyz face when u asked him” what do ppl into men look like” lol… yes we are too muc o, its not easy been a women. we are too blessed to be stressed
i also cant do women for the same reasons. lol.
Congrats on your award deariee.
for real? would have never guessed it…hehe i keed.
But seriously, that’s a valid question these days. I think he should have been a little more blunt with it
Are you gay?
would have left no room for misunderstanding 😛
p.s. congrats on your awards
Congrats on the award Vera!
Lol at post!
LMAO @ “…askin wen d baby is due and finding out the woman aint pregnant”!!! That person sure deserves a hot slap! lol
With posts like this, it sure aint a wonder u won those awards…
Ok so now, Speech, speech, speech!!!
Na condition make crayfish bend.
LOL!!!
My dear, these days, with what is going on i the world, u can’t even blame the guy for asking.
Infact everybody is a suspect now,infact one of the questions to be asked upon introduction should be : Were u once a man?
lol…that’s a valid question, even more valid when you go to places like boston and san franscisco.
someone said, ‘soon people will start asking the same questions in naija’
meanwhile, you can come up with a way/approach for asking such questions without seeming impolite, something similar to your write-up about how a guy should approach a girl..
hmmm, thankgod this is from a woman
orisirisi….wat r question to ask
shu
Congrats on your wins.
And yes, pray tell, are you into men?
🙂
Fareedasview: Abi ooo! Thank you, my dear. Hehehe
Roc Naija: This is a tricky question. Wouldn’t you like to know the answer? What are you willing to give me to find out? I charge in perfumes – just in case you wanna know.
Arewa: Hahahaha. Ouch. How did you get out of that one? I have learnt (from other people’s mistakes) to never, ever congratulate a woman on her pregnancy until I am very VERY sure that she is pregnant with a child.
AfroBabe: Hehehe! Intellectual blog ey? I actually thot you’d win Most Religious Blog. Chei. I suspect something; I smell a rat. If you wanna know if I’m in2 men, why don’t you just send me one of your fine boyfriends and we’ll find out *wink*
Luscious Ron: LOL!! See ehn, that fellatio one, no be my fault naaa! That was a miscalculation by google. Abi na me do am?? Besides, am I the one who told told people to keep searching 4 naughty stuff? In short, Luscious Ron, now that I think of it, we need 2 sue Google sef. How u take see am?
BSNC: Too blessed to be stressed ey? Well, I sure do hope so! I love being a woman, that’s 4 sure. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but thank God I can admire a man. Men are just too beautiful.
OluwaDee: Hehehehe. Makes the two of us, ey? I mean, y’ll (women) are cool and all, but abeg spare me! LOL
Scribble Me Free: LOL! I’m wondering if being more blunt would have helped or hurt the situation. Hmmmm. Mystery, I tell ya. Thanks 4 the congratulations. Go and vote again ooo!
Ms O: Thanks, boo! Laugh all you want ooo; I no dey laugh @ all.
Confessions Of A London Gal: Hehehe. My darling, I shall oblige you with an acceptance speech once category B is done voting.
Princesa: Serious condition ooo! And na serious bend sef. I no think say dis one fit straight again sef.
Miz-Chif: LOL! Abi ooo! Nne, no be say you talk am sha…! These days, every1 really is a suspect. I guess I was just shocked coz I had never considered myself a suspect.
Webround: LOL! I see. So it’s me that should be responsible for coming up with an approach for how to ask someone their sexual orientation without being offensive? Very well then. I will think about it.
Sprezatura: LOl! I have a feeling you’ve been having the same feeling ey? Hehehehe.
Aloted: LOL. Abi ooo! See me see wahala!
Ms Sula: Men are too wonderful to not be into. But I can prove it, if you want. Send me your boyfie, I’ll show you what I mean. *wink*
Hahahahaha!
I don’t blame you. I would take offense too. One of those awkward situations…you know what you should have replied w/ when he asked you that question : Are you?…lmao.
You are into men? *Mock shock* I can’t believe it…lol J/K
But seriously though. I don’t think he meant any harm. He must have been mortified at the face u gave him, and I can imagine how ‘WTFrackish’ that look must have been. lol
And at the title…. YELZ O!
Congrats on the awards and nominations!
I too have been asked if I was a lele but what confused me was that the person asking was a female and engaged. So just coz I’m not about to get married I’m gay? *shakes head* What does someone who is into men look like for real?
So Vera, whne are you gonna tell us about this bf na?
lmao @ are you into men? thats so funny
love the blog!
Diane: Hehehehe. I like that. I really shoulda asked him that and seen how he woulda reacted to it.
Neffie: Hehehe. You’e described the face very well. LOL. Was quite funny – maybe not to him. But the truth is that some questions should not be asked; the answers to them should just be found out, that’s all.
Simple Gal: LOL @ the lele asking the question. As for my alleged boyfriend, ah…! Una too get long throat for gossip. Just because I said I have a boyfriend does not mean I have one;I have been saying that to guys for the longest time.
Dee Dee: Thanks, honey!! I’ll be stopping by yours soon too.
* singing *
Vera no go suffer,she no go beg for bread! ( 2ce )
blogsville award oh! na her papa own………….
Verastically,verastic,(not viral) Vera
all those you enemies that didn’t want you to win them awards have been put to shame
you suppose even win more sef them just dey do racially (and not verastic) tribalistic discrimination.
Vera,you’re the next best thing since double chicken nuggets
this next awards ehn… na you go carry all
you no tell them sey them no reach!
them fit try but them no reach!
lmao..seriously, WHO asks that question???? *looks bewildered*
ahnahn see as u just finish we women..nawa o.. 🙁
congrats on ur awards hon!
G-FUNC: Hehehehehe. Dis your comment na die! I no fit shout. I no fit laugh again sef. I am blushing multi colored here. You’re too mush! U have renewed my faith. U have renewed my strength. Thanks, G-FUNC!!
Buttercup: Hehehe. I no finish una na. I still love y’ll, but una wahala pass my power. I no fit keep up, so I’ve chosen to swing the other way… with men.
You walked away with awards? Walked? Where did the event take place?
Nice talking to you!
always knew there had to be reasons why i dont do women
thanks for pointing them out…lol
congrats on yoour previous wins
look forward to your speech
Lol! Hilarious…as usual!
Meanwhile, congrats on your awards. You inspired me to start blogging. I hope I can continue 🙂
seriously though..are you into men… lol
lol at how you went from being single to have a boyfriend in less than one minute.
All the best in racking up some more NBA wins; congrats on your wins!
can you blame the guy? maybe he has had a bad experience with gay girls before o. i beg leave the dude o! as for voting, how much you go pay me?
did u get d perfume-mini? anon555?
daz a serious question oh. ‘are u into men?’ if someone asked me dat question, i’d wonder if they r insinuating dat am a slut. hmmmm. talk about reading between non-existent lines. congrats on ur wins.
Seye: Well, let’s say I “e-walked” away with the awards. LOL. Twas tres cool talking to you too!
Ibiluv: Thanks, boo! I’m glad to help anytime. If you need anymore reasons for why not to be into women, please see me asap. lol.
IGoTalk: I inspired you to start blogging?? Awwww!!!! I hope you keep blogging oh. U can definitely do it. I’ve been doing it for three years and I never tire. Thanx 4 the congratulatory message
Dabizniz: How can’t I be? You men are too much. You’re too good. I can’t help but be into you.
Good Naija Girl: Hehehehe. Babe, I had to na! My sexuality was being questioned. Hehehe. Thanks 4 the congratulatory message. Congrats on yours too.
Bibi: Name your price. Anything you want, I go give you. As 4 the guy, I don’t know his problem oh. Oh, well.
Anon555: U sent me a perfume???? Yippee!!! I need to go check my mailbox. Been a tad bit lazy. I’ll check it today.
FFF: LOL! Slut ey?? Nah, I don’t think that’s what he meant. He’s an African American guy, so our thinking process is a bit different.
Vera, at least he got your attention. maybe, that was his plan
thats a good pick up line if i mad add