Culture That Kills: He’s Paid To Have Sex With Children

I remember one old Nollywood movie I watched years ago starring Patience Ozokwor (where is she these days?), and in the movie, she and her friend (I think) had hired a man who was fondly known as Eleven-Eleven to sleep with her friend (or was it her friend’s daughter) and make her pregnant to have not just any child, but a boy.

The movie was supposed to be comedic relief. And it was — until you started thinking deeply about why we (Nigerians) generally see more value in boy babies than in girl babies. His name was Eleven-Eleven because of the eleven babies he had helped to conceive, all eleven of them were boys, so he had a perfect boy-making record. In case you’re wondering, this time, however, the woman delivered a girl. I think Eleven-Eleven denied the baby. He had, after all, only the boy-making sperm. But the entertainment and disturbing truth in this movie is NOTHING compared to the reality of what you’re about to read.

I read it on BBC yesterday. In a remote part of the country of Malawi, there is a tradition where young girls are taken to men known as Hyenas for what is considered as sexual cleansing. The girls are taken there by their parents once they hit puberty. It happens after their first period, and they are made to have sex with a Hyena over a three-day period. Some of them are as young as 12, and they cannot refuse, due to fear of misfortune befalling their families.  The reason for this cleanse is to teach the girls good manners, like how to please their husbands in bed. This particular story is about Eric Aniva, the Hyena.

I realized at some point in my life that being a girl in Nigeria (and Africa at large) means being a second-class citizen. It means being at a disadvantage for almost everything. Marriage, for example, especially in the traditional Nigerian way, favors men more than the women. While the story of this Hyena is in Malawi and not Nigeria, it is important to know that even in Nigeria, there are still men who because of culture (and religion) are allowed to rape children and call it marriage – and their God-given rights.

There are many things I don’t understand about my beloved country and continent, and one of them is our insistence to blindly follow culture. People do things and don’t even know why they do it; they just know that it’s what people do. It’s the same reason why some of our women would rather be married and miserable than single because after all, a husband is a woman’s pride. What have you accomplished if you have not found a man to do you the favor of marrying you?

Back to this Hyena story: the parents take their girl children to the Hyena because they believe that if they do not do so, their family will be attacked with diseases and maybe even death. In this particular village, there are 10 Hyenas, and Eric Aniva is just one of them. Hyenas get paid about $4 to $7 per cleansing.

If one were to be logical about this culture – but you can’t be logical because culture forbids it – then one would ask why a virgin child even needs to be cleansed. Is the virginity itself not supposed to be the epitome of cleanliness? If the Hyena teaches the girl child how to please her husband, then who teaches the boy-child how to please his wife? Oh, yes, he’s a boy, and pleasing his wife is not his duty. Besides, when did women start needing or wanting to be pleased?  According to this Hyena, he has slept with over 100 women children, and if that be the case, what is the probability that he may have a sexually transmitted disease?

But wait, there’s news.  Culturally, Hyenas are not allowed to wear a condom while cleansing the children. Logical, right? And this particular Hyena is HIV-positive.  This Hyena is in his forties, and he has two wives and five children that he knows of. And of course, they are well aware of his job.

This is literally a culture that kills.

P.S. Some people on social media say that Eric should be arrested. But how can you arrest a man who is doing the culturally-acceptable work you paid him to do?

UPDATE: BBC is reporting today (July 26th 2016) that Eric Aniva, the Hyena has been arrested. Apparently, the President ordered that he be investigated and charged. It’s unclear to me if he’s being investigated for having sex with underage girls or for knowingly exposing them to HIV. Or perhaps for both. Read the report here.