When I left Nigeria, I did not own a cell phone. My mother did not own a cell phone, and my father did not own a cell phone. In fact, no one in my household owned a cell phone. There was not – to my knowledge – anything like caller-id on home telephones either – not that it mattered anyway. We did not even own a home telephone either, now that I think of it. I don’t remember why dad never put one in. It was one story or another about NITEL. In retrospect, I now know that dad was guying (fooling) us. The point is that even if we did own a home telephone, there was no way to tell who was calling before picking up the phone.
But with the introduction of cell phones, calling changed. I was so happy to know that my family and friends in Nigeria all owned cell phones and I could now call them at any time and vice versa. Of course, that excitement lasted all of one week, two weeks maybe. Who had the time to call people – especially with a calling card – all the time? This feeling is a lot easier to understand if you reside on this side of the border.
But strange things started happening. My [cell] phone would ring and then stop. Ring and then stop. Ring and then stop. Over and over. And over. And over. At first, I thought the connection was bad. It was only later that I learned this was a new phenomenom that was sweeping the nation. It was called, Flashing. For the American, non-Nigerian readers, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but this flashing isn’t what you think (possibly hope?) it is. This Nigerian flashing is when a person calls you, lets it ring once or twice and then hangs up before you pick up. It’s like beeping you – except that you do not want to be beeped, which is evidenced by you not owning a beeper. Now, imagine someone flashing you over and over and over and over …. at 3:00 AM. Yes… feel the anger. LET IT BURN.
Since I did not own a cell phone in Nigeria, perhaps, I do not know the etiquettes of calling. For those who know, please answer the following questions: What exactly is the purpose of flashing someone? Is it to say, “Hey, just thinking about you?” Is it to say, “I’m too low on credit, so I can’t call, but please call me back?” Is it to say, “I figured you’d be deep in REM sleep, so I thought I’d disturb?” Or is it what I have been thinking? The caller wants to say, “I’m in dire need of someone to get mad enough to kill me. Is this reason enough for you to send hired assasins after me?”
If a person owns a cell phone and knows how to dial international numbers on it, I’d expect that the person also knows that all the nations on the earth do not see the sun at the same time. In other words, just because the sun has just risen on your side of the world does not necessarily mean that everyone in the remaining four corners of earth – yes, I know the earth is round – is also seeing the sun. Case in point, Nigeria is currently FIVE whole hours ahead of some parts of the United States. I said some parts! That means that when it’s 8:00 AM over there, it’s actually just 3:00 AM over here, and you are NOT – I repeat, NOT – allowed to flash me incessantly for ANY reason.
No matter what the problem may be, there is nothing I can do for you at that time of the day night day night whatever. I am not God. I am not even Super Woman. So come what may, I cannot fly or teleport to Nigeria at that time. If money is the problem, Western Union is closed at 3:00 AM. If the transaction can be done online, I don’t have the money. If I do have the money, I am flippin sleeping!
But it gets worse. Sometimes, the number of the person flashing me does not even show. All I see is unknown number or private number. Sometimes, it’s just a blank screen and call is the only thing that is displayed. Yet, the unknown keeps flashing … and flashing … and flashing … and flashing. No amount of anger, irritation, and determination will give me access to this person to say, “Dude/dudette, seriously stop!!!”
There are times when the caller is someone that I know. By know, I mean someone that I may have spoken to once or twice – perhaps a friend of a friend…. of a friend. If this person had flashed me at twelve noon while I was sitting on a heap of calling cards with nothing to do but count the hairs on my head, I still would not have been bored enough to call back. Yet, this person had the audacity to wake me up – right in the middle of that dream … in the best part of it …. for what?!?!?!
To hail me???
flashing could mean a number of things… even all of the above mentioned reasons…
thank God I dont get such calls… it's probably because you indiscriminately give out your phone number… that's a no-no my dear… we may have to get Mr. Shoes to start regulating such behavior… so now that you're angry… I just wanted to timidly point out that it's really all your fault.. after all.. who allowed them access to your number? 🙂
Pele, Vera!
Flashing is a well known phenomena in 9ja. You are so lucky they are not sending you the "Please call me msg" if you were on the same network. The most annoying one is when they flash till my hands get sore from flipping out my phone and back, then I find a $100 to send and they will not even call or text to acknowledge the money after getting the code. However they are sure to start flashing weeks later when the cash is spent. The truth is that I have learnt to flash back sometimes out of annoyance and most of my 9ja flashers now know better. It's well Vera, afterall it's 9ja….kpele.
Kc
lol! story of my life, I recently switched off my phone for a whole MONtH jst t get away from it all! lets jst say I got t enjoy that part of my dreams for 30 days 😉
lol mehn i hated when them fools use to flash.
But honestly i will not lie, when i was in naija i use to do some flashing to.
U can try not to hand out ur number to much sha lol.
LOL..That stuff really sucks and could get on your damn nerves..the damn sickenin thing is that they keep flashin in the middle of the night just like you rightly said..I initially condoned it when i moved here but after a while,sincerely i had no choice but to change my line..and till date,other than my family and close aquaintance who know the rules,no one else has my number ..and it was until then i had some real respite…Money or whatever it is anyone wants,can at least wait till the morning or some more comfortable time..
Flashing is ridiculuous.
How and why flash?
I personally thought it was only used when you don't have enough credit on your line for a call but I recently learned that flashing is also another way of saying hi?!
And the appropriate response?
Flash back.
In time, I may get this.
I share your sentiments. In my country, that was a phenomenon too. It hated being bothered, because those who would do that have no serious matter in mind. those who have intentions of calling, really call.
I do that too— just to "alert" my mom that she needs to call me. hehehe!! I let her spend on calls.. nayayaya, bad baby!
Put your phone on silent at night jare!!!!
The most irritating one for me is some nonsense "Please credit me" text that people can send free on some networks here in Naija …
very annoying.
na recharge card i dey sell?
Babe only one advice can end this yawa!!!
SWITCH YOUR PHONE OFF WHEN SLEEPING!!!
Flashing is a naija phenomenon!!!
sorry ehn! 😉
And to all you flashers, verastic has spoken!!! biko listen!
u go fear this vex naw..lol.
flashing soo means there aint credit call me bck ooo…but yh the one i dont get is when they flsh with private number…\im like…ermmmm okkkkk, wat do i do?
lol.
but i hardly get flashed tho…i thnk God 4 dat mehn
I just don't return any one ring missed calls, the audacity of the caller to think I should be the one returning such calls!
Hahahaha… its really frustrating when they flash! I thought I was he only one that hates it! One frustrating thing about it is the frequency of flash. How they do it, I don't know but they can flash you with only three seconds intervals. And will continue for more than 1hr!
And yes, like someone pointed out her, they do succeed flashing you with a private number as well, like that are about to say… hehehe.. you'll have no peace as far as i still own a phone!
Flashing it etiquettely (is this a word?) illegal in these United States. Make sure you tell them.
Lol. I could feel your anger on this one. I wouldn't sleep with my phone on or with the ringer loud if i were you…
flashing MEANS……hey girlie, I want to talk to you but i'm too broke so hit me up!!!!!! its that simple
i feel your pain. At least you're not getting any midnight calls. I put my fone on silent when i want to sleep o
ABEGII' who go talk say him no dey flash????? i say who?? :p
Flashing means all of the above.
lol
Back home, i flash my paps, cuz he will always call back immediately to find out what's wrong. My mum, DON'T BOTHER!
lol
LOL, this is so funny and for you to vent like this, what were you dreaming of?
ps, flashing means, I love you. Feel better now? LOL
Diamond Hawk: Ehm… thank you oh!! Madam Pointer Outer! Who asked you? *HISS* lol. Come oh, did Mr. Shoes send you to me? You both need to just mind yourselves. And I do not indiscriminately give out my number, thank you very much! Yeye, Diamond. I don't like you anymore.
KTravula: Thank you oh, my brother. Better person.
Anonymous: LOL. Honestly, flashing me does not hurt me half as much as flashing me at three in the morning. No matter how many times I keep saying, "It's three in the morning," it keeps happening. I just don't get it. I totally understand that one of not acknowledging receipt of the money. Soo wrong! Happened to me before too. LOL.
~B~: You switched off your phone for an entire month?? WOW. You have balls oo! I can't do that. I need my phone. What I'm gonna do is just put the phone on silent when I'm going to bed. That way, no more flashing!
I'll be back to reply comments later. Laptop is about to die and I forgot to bring the cable thingy…whatever it's called
Tell em why you're mad son! lol
I take it no one has contacted you after 6 months (and y'all weren't tight to start with) to ask for 100 bucks O_O
Pele Vera. To echo some people, either put your phone on silent, or turn it off when you go to bed.
And there's this little game you can play if you are ever up during the wee hours and you're feeling bored. Once your screen lights up, even before it starts ringing, press the answer button. and don't say a word. Repweat as often as required. It'll be a race against time, but you'll find it immensely satisfying. And the calls will stop. Hopefully.
All flashers are going to get struck by lightening!!!
Ok maybe not but flashing is really annoying.
Lol someone sounds angry..
yeah, justjoxy, you got it.. it really works and gives you this satisfaction..
back in the day , tho, i used to flash o but not now and my sibs know the rule, flash twice n i'l call to find out watsup or beta stil, find 20bucks and make a call
it's the flashing with undisclosed no that really gets me..
Before flashing took over Naija- we Jand folks had mastered the art of beeping! Can i get a yeolz from my fellow beeping pros! LOL!!!
I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from…& here's my solution to this problem:
"When it's time for my beauty – sleep; my phone is set to SILENT"
The random-caller can flash away 🙂
I love picking up calls from flashers, its like mind/speed exercise and so much fun. Just the thought of wasting one minute or one second of their credit before they sharply cut of the phone makes me happy.
I'm back! Pretty please add me to your blogroll 🙂
Nonostic nono, pele o. That is so funny, i couldn't stop laughing. U see why i put my phone in the living room. I do not need any one to add to my problem by disturbing my 4-5 hours of sleep. I already have an alarm clock(ur boyfriend)that i do not set to wake me up but still do everyday, so i will pass. Am not jealous of u at all.
LOL! pele dear,
when you go to sleep at night,
put your phone on the silent mode.
keep up the radio show, proud of you girl.
lool..now my phone promptly goes off at 9.30pm and dsnt come on till 7am..
Flashers ko…foolish pple ni…
It is sooooo annoying Vera. I am going thru the same thing now with som eididot that I will willingly skin alive if and when I get to meet him/her.
Oh oh…huh…Pele dear
Welcome to reality.
Now you know what flashing means. I wish you more of flashing. I can even see your phone number above this box.
Expect my flashing soon.
To be truthful. I don't know why people flash. I can't really find a reason why.
lol @ flashing isn't what you think… DIRTY MINDS>>.lol flashing is the worst/… I get impatient especially when I just want to let it ring so I can hear my ringtone!!….lol
x!
pele my dear. In fact I dey vex on your behalf!
Is flash even an English word? Thought it was "buzz" which I didnt know until I go us "flash" for South Africa-lol
lol… too funny..I don't pick up phone of flashers oh..
It's been a minute.. been super- busy oh.. sorry no vex.. but blog rounds I must and will do, by force, by fire oh.. Hope you are good.. now let me go read the what last 10 posts I missed.. chei!
much Love x
I promised I'd be back to continue replying comments, so here I am – live & direct.
Controversy: LOL @ not handing it to so many people. But I don't now… ehn. 🙂 My problem isn't even that the flashes happen. My problem is the time of the night that they occur and the frequency at which they occur.
Trybes: Yessss. That's the problem. Why must is be done at that time of the day?? If you're flashing me @ three AM my time, that means, it's only 8AM over there. Even then, it is too early to be disturbing me. *SIGH*
Tobenna: LOL. See, I heard about the flashing to say hi thing. But I didn't even know that there was a response (which is to flash back). Now see, we need better network in Nigeria. That's the ultimate solution.
Jabez: LOL. Yeah, bad baby indeed! Look @ you making mommy call you. Can't say I blame you, of course. I'd probably do the same — to mom, that is.
Fluffy Cute Thing: Oh, wow. Didn't know that was possible (crediting a person's phone, I mean). As for putting my phone on silent, well, that's obviously the verdict now.
No Limit: So when Verastic speaks, everyone should listen ey? Thank you, my sister. May you live long. LOL. From now on, I'll be leaving my phone on silent. Dis one don dey pass rough play.
Gee: U hardly get flashed, really? Babe, where do you live, under a rock? LOL. Me, I want to be like you oo. Yeah, but those private flashes are quite confusing. LOL.
Langa: Hahahaha. I can just imagine your tone as you typed this. Hehehe.
Elean: Hahaha. LOL @ having no peace as long as you have a phone. That's really what it feels like isn't it. Just when you're tryna get used to the first flash they flash you again and again and again and again and again… ah!! E get as e be oh.
Rosie: The problem is that they d bit live in the United States, so they don't feel like they have to abide by the laws of not flashing.
Kemberly: Well, at this point, that is obviously the only option that I have. There is nothing else I can do but put the phone on silent. As long as it's on – even if it's just a little – I'll most likely hear it, especially considering how many times the phones will ring.
Sweet Nothin: Well, in that case, flashing so many times – and in rapid succession – is not necessary. One flash is okay.
Cerberus: A midnight call is much better than a 3AM call. At least, I'm awake @ 3AM.
LG: Flashing no be the real wahala here na. Na flashing at 3AM be the real issue. Y must it be at that time?
Chayoma: Momsy is a smart woman. LOL. But flashing pops or even people you know is not a problem. Flashing people at three in the morning is just not cool. Even calling people sef at three in the morning is not cool – unless you're close to the person. You get?
Myne Whitman: LOL!! Yeah, right!! You think say I never go Naija before abi? Flashing means love ko…! LOL
C U O: Who you dey call son sef? Respect ya sef ooo. As for people contacting me for money, well, good luck to them. I'm looking for people to contact for money, so if anyone is contacting me for money, they're wasting their time.
JustJoxy: LOL! I love that game. Matter of fact, next time I'm awake and someone decides to flash the heck outta me, that is exactly what I will do. Y shall I shy?
Lady X: Hehehe. No, biko, not all of them ooo!! I like some of the flashers. Hehe.