Remember when I put up that angry post about people flashing me at odd hours of the night? Well, it’s really amazing because there is this particular person that does it most, and I know that he/she reads my blog. I also know that he/she read that particular post. So why did he/she still continue to flash – although no longer at that ungodly hour???
Here comes my aha moment. My mother is the cause! No, no, she does not know him/her. However, this is a case where the sins of the mother have come to hunt the daughter. Mom does not flash anyone. The sound of this last sentence compels me to explain once more time that flashing [in Nigeria] does not mean what flashing in America means. In Nigeria [or in Nigerian terms], flashing is when a person calls you, lets it rings about once or twice, and then hangs up. The idea is to have his/her number flash on your phone and then you call him/her back.
So as I was saying, mom does not flash anyone [in spite of the previous explanation of flash/flashing, this sentence still sounds very awkward. Mom & flash just shouldn’t be in the same sentence. Ah, I’ve been in this country too long]. What mom does instead is call people in Nigeria at 11pm. No, not 11pm their time; I mean 11pm our time. That’s 4am their time! And as if that’s not bad enough, she starts the conversation by asking, “Oh, did I wake you up?”
Seriously???? No, of course not, mom. People just usually stay awake at 4am … especially on week days. You know how good it feels to get two hours of sleep before springing up for another day’s work. Woop-tee-doo!!! I don’t even know why she asks that question because the person’s response will not deter her from saying what she called to say. It might take anywhere from zero to twenty-one minutes (which is the maximum that a $2 Nigeria DC calling card gives).
I – wherever I may be during this conversation – am usually boiling with anger … for this person, of course. I just don’t get it. Why would you wake someone up at four in the morning??? What is it that cannot wait till later? And there I was raising fire and brimstone for the people that flash me at three in the morning while my own mother was [still is] busy waking people up from their REM sleep. No wonder the flashers have targeted my phone. I need to start giving out my mother’s number as mine. Justice must be served!
If by any chance I do move back to Nigeria before mom, I need to warn her to cease and desist from dialing my number between the hours of 8:59pm and 8:59am – Nigerian Time. No, I will not be sleeping during all of those hours, of course, but before the children come into the picture, they will first need to be invented… will they not??? These things don’t happen by themselves, peeps.
im a little lost w/the post… maybe it's cuz im sleepy… im like huh? LOL… will come back and read it after I've had a good night's rest… how are you chica! GO TO BED!!!!
lwkm vera u just crack me up with ur wit….lol u too funny, and I like how dedicated u are to this blog and how u keep ur promise of updating every 3 days ( yes I've been reading ur archives) , funny post but true….
lol Give them her number… and I'm 3rd.. heyy!!!!….
x!
I hereby promise not to flash!!
My Mom does the same thing!!!!!!! Am always arguing wiv her over the issue, but lately I've given up.
Lol…mothers oo!
LOL…LOL…Oh Vera…where do I start from? I feel you…It is not funny to wake someone up that time. I had this serious flash by 4:30am. From a caller I did not know. I then called back. Lo and behold, the number was not available.
Beg your mum to stop the early morning calls…so that no one will do it unto u 🙂
Have a lovely weekend ahead.
One time I had a flashing episode.
It was a dark period in my life.
I never really get annoyed…but I tell you, I was pissed.
My heart is with you o.
PS: can you publish his/her number so we can give him/her a taste of his/her medicine…that's what I did to stop mine. The bloggers helped me.
Just give him/her a grace period.
if i were in that situation, nothing will save my mother from getting my piece of mind & very harshly too, walahi…anyway joo, Vera nwannem, how you dey?
Lol funny sturvzz..
But u are right lol, it is definitely the sins of the mother being visited on the daughter
na wa oooooooooooooo
i couldnt stop lol'ing. glad ur mum doesnt flash (in d non-nigerian context)…lol!
inventing children for 12hours!!!…good luck with that.
lol..very funny..
roundabout karma, i say..
kpele jare
LOL @ 'These things don't happen by themselves'.
Yes, I totally agree.
But also, the 'inventing' doesn't necessarily happen during the hours you mentioned….Trust me on this. 😉
Lol! Serious!
I have just decided that anyone who calls me repeatedly from an unknown number, or flashes me, I will NEVER pick it up. It implies a few things:
1. You need something. Like do you flash me everyday? How come suddenly suddenly, God gives you a vision and it's me who the message is for… rubbbish and poraro
2. You have a lot of time on your hands. Peeps that just wanna waste your time. I mean the fact that you are calling me @ 3am implies you don't respect my time.
3. You are too cheap to leave a VM, so you think you deserve a call back.
All in all, I detest flashing and flashers. I lost contact with a lot of peeps who I used to be friends with in Naija for this reason, and I DON'T care to reconnect!
You berra beg ur mama to repent… lol Since the perpetrator is a reader of your blog, and you have confessed you mom does the same, you might be toast!
LMAO @ these things don't invent themselves. You wan kill d man? 9pm to 9am. He must not have to work in the morning… lol
Chei! see story. The time I could have spent achieving something with my life 😀
Horny idiot… i see u've got it all planned out for Mr. shoes.
lol…your really really very funny.i dont call people by that time either…very annoying indeed.
Its obvious its irritating you
Ah !! Ah !!
Two posts on one topic
lwkm
oh my
vera n her mama
haha…Very funny. Thats mothers for you–you hate to love them!
lol!! momsie is funy!
lol @ mum n flash not looking good together..
my mum annoyingly calls me at odd hours as well…she keeps forgetting that london time is same as naija and waits till mid night to call…
LOLLLL oooh i remember when my mum went to naija and would call at 4am on a week night just to gist? i would be so mad i mean, its not like you are unaware of the time difference. you LIVE in the US!
Funny girl you are Vera, no one better disturb us at a bad time and being on this side of the coast, it happens a few times
Vera,
This is the website I told you about: http://www.gardencityfestival.com/asp/article.asp?p=30
Take care,
Eche
Vera,
This is the website I told you about: http://www.gardencityfestival.com/asp/article.asp?p=30
Take care,
Eche
Vera,
This is the website I told you about: http://www.gardencityfestival.com/asp/article.asp?p=30
Take care,
Eche
Vera,
This is the website I told you about: http://www.gardencityfestival.com/asp/article.asp?p=30
Take care,
Eche
Diamond Hawk: Yes, it's definitely because you're sleepy. I had to re-read the post to make sure I didn't fumble and type rubbish, but no, I see you're just the one who is sleepy. Come back later, love.
Cici: Awww!! Thanks, boo!! Yes, I try to remain dedicated to updating every three days. Hasn't been easy, but when I think of the harassments I'll receive when I don't update, I'm quickly moved.
Bob IJ: Indeed, I will give them her number. And thanks for promising not to flash. Wait, what kind of 'flash' were you referring to?
UnderCover 07: My dear, the thing tire me ooo! Like why on earth would you think that calling someone at 4 in the morning is okay and/or normal??
Rita: Thank you, nne. I'll beg mom to stop the early morning calls. I squint in pain on behalf of the people that she has been calling. Soo not fair. Per the unavailable number, lol!
Woomie O: You published the number on your blog for real?? Omo, you baaaaaad ooo!!! LOL @ the flashing episode being a dark episode in your life. If he/she keeps flashing me, it's on!!
Baroque: Ezigbo nwa nne'm… I dey oo. LOL @ giving a piece of your mind to mom. Well, my mom is just strange; that's all I can say.
Controversy: My dear ehn… that is how I see it oh. I am now paying for my mother's sins. See how unfair life is?
Kafo: My dear, na real waaaa!!!
Funkola: I'm glad that my mom doesn't flash in the non-Nigerian way either – at least not that I know of (eww). Per inventing kids for twelve hours, oh… yes, it is highly necessary! 🙂
His Treasure: I couldn't have said it better myself. Round about karma indeed. Very, very unfair. What did I ever do to deserve this?
lawl!!!!!
Who told you that babies are invented? These days, they just jump on people oh.lol
Who told you that babies are invented? These days, they just jump on people oh.lol