I don’t remember whether or not I have blogged about this before. But I feel the need to confess my transgressions. A long, long time, I was mean to snails. I was still in Jos at this time. I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but maybe between 9 and 13, I don’t know.
There were lots of snails in my area. I should mention right now that I do not eat snails. I did not eat them at that time, I don’t eat them now, and I don’t foresee myself eating them in the nearest or farthest future. They look disgusting. They look like vaginas, and I am not about that eating vagina life. I don’t think that the vagina looks disgusting, but I don’t want my food to look like it either. [Truth: snails’ striking resemblance with vaginas isn’t why I don’t eat them, but their resemblance does not help. I just don’t like eating creepy things. Snails are creepy].
At some point in time – for no apparent reason – I began to collect snails and store them in a container. That was fun. Until I started cutting off what I used to call their “antennas.” I don’t know what I thought the antennas were, but I found out years later that those were their eyes. I feel horrible!
Dead snail walking [Image source: Wikipedia]
Soon after chopping their antennas off, the snails would die days later. They would die in their shells. And would you believe, I didn’t think that it was my action that killed them. I thought they died out of hunger, as I did not feed them because I didn’t know what they ate. There was no Google then. Now that I think of it, they could have died out of blindness and hunger! I killed them twice.
So anyway, this is me asking for forgiveness and asking that these murders be wiped off my record in the Book Of Life. I don’t want to go to Heaven and be questioned about why I took the lives of those poor, innocent snails. Forgive me, oh kingdom of snails. I never meant to hurt you … some times.
OMG!
Do not judge me! I didn’t know! Lol.
I don’t know why I was laughing when reading this story. I am sure the snails forgive you since you feel bad about it…hopefully.
Lol. Why did you have to end your comment with “hopefully?” Hahaha. They better forgive me oh! I have confessed already.
Chai Vera, this is so disturbing!!!!
Seriously, I hope some PETA fanatic doesn’t read this and come knocking on your door in revenge for all those poor slugs you killed. I think you should henceforth embrace Jainism to atone for all your gastropodic sins ๐
Lool. Manny, it might be safe to say that I have already embraced jainism. I no longer chop off the antennas of snails. I should probably confess what I have done to roaches and stink bugs. Another day. Lol.
Vera, I love many things about you, but what I think I love most is your ability to be funny without even trying.
I was a snail collector too. my grandma’s house girl forced us all to collect snails which she roasted every sunday……..
Chizzy, looool … we had a house help that made me pick those insects that fall after it rains – the ones people fry. Don’t remember their names. I never ate snails though. Still can’t eat them.
You think I’m funny? Awwww *blushing*
the insects are called “Aku’
Ate them a lot back in the days… looks like cockroaches now
Yes! That’s what they are: aku. I remember now. And yeah, they look disgusting now. Yuck. Can’t believe I even ate them.
They r called ‘termite’ dear :-)…as for me growing up, I would take a small snail, toss them to d ground n immediately step on them till u wouldn’t even recognize what they were in d first place…I dnt wanna say what I did to birds, ants n some other creatures..lol…I know better now…most times:-)
Efe oooo!!!! Lol. You make me look like the good one. Lol. I also did things to roaches sha. I’ll blog about that on another day.
Your writing is exceptional! Very original, down-to-earth and funny. And you know the amazing thing? It comes out as effortless. I always come back to read a pile of articles when I havent visited in a long time! #VeraOfLyv
Awwwwww. Thank you, Kevwe! And I love the hash tag #VeraOfLyv. Thank you! ๐
so true dear