Conversations With God About My Dating Life

Dating can be one kind. Sometimes, it feels like a cool breeze on a hot summer day, and sometimes, it feels like learning the anatomy of a dinosaur in Mandarin.

As it came to pass, I was actively trying and failing to learn the anatomy of a dinosaur in Mandarin. The harder I tried, the harder I failed. When complaining and crying myself to sleep made no difference, I resorted to talking to God, and He actually talked back.

“Dear God,” I cried, “I just want love. I want a man of integrity. I want to love a man I can trust enough to marry. I want a man who has reverential fear for you. I want a man whose words convict him. I want a man who will be my best friend in every way, a man I can live with and build with. This is the man I have been praying for and this is the man I am still praying for.”

“My child,” God said, “You already have a boyfriend.”

“Yes, I do,” I acknowledged.

“But you’re still praying for a husband.”

“I am,” I acknowledged again.

“So, it seems to me that you are not satisfied with the boyfriend that you have now and you do not believe he will make a great husband.”

“You’re right again,” I wondered where He was going with this.

“Why don’t you let him go then and trust Me to give you the man you keep praying for?”

“Well, Lord, I can see how You came to that reasoning and conclusion, and I know that You’re the all-knowing God and everything, but may I indulge You for a second with my alternative solution. And I know Your ways are not my ways, and my wisdom pales in comparison to Yours, but if You could just hear me out, please?”

“Go on. Speak, My child.”

“Thank you, Sir. So, I was thinking, instead of me letting go of this guy who is clearly not what I prayed for and who is frustrating me more and more every day, why don’t You first send me the man that I prayed for — and then, I can let go of this guy.”

He leaned back, frowned, and tried to counter my request, “But —“

“Alternatively, Lord, if You don’t like that idea, why don’t You just turn this Mr. Wrong into Mr. Right? This will even save You the time —“

“I own time. I do not need My time to be saved, especially by you.”

“Valid point. But You can see how both of my ideas are great, right?”

“No.”

“So, You’ll think about it then?”

“Absolutely not. When you are tired of complaining about a boyfriend you can leave and you are ready for a husband, you’ll do the needful, so I can come in and do what I am famous for.” He left the room before I had the chance to retort.

I did not understand why He was being so difficult. It was not as if I asked Him for something He was incapable of doing. By His own admission, He was able to give me the man I had been praying for, so why did He not give me that one to start with? Why send a counterfeit? Was He trying to test my patience? My wisdom? My resolve? What was the point of making me go through this pointless exercise. I decided that I would continue doing what I was already doing since it was getting His attention. I will continue crying myself to bed, complaining about a situation I can change, and then, praying to Him about it.

In the next room, I could hear Him discussing me with Angel Gabriel, which by the way, was completely tactless and unprofessional. They could have at least kept their voices down.

“Are we going to just let her keep doing this, Lord?” Angel Gabriel asked.

“She’ll learn eventually.”

“But maybe she needs a sign, Lord.”

“How many have we given her?”

“Perhaps, she needs something stronger?”

“She has all the signs she needs; she’ll turn around when she’s ready.”

“But look at her, Lord. She’s with him again.”

I stormed off because I was angry at God. I did not understand why He was not doing something that He was clearly more than able to do. The story does not end here, but you’ll have to wait for Part 2.

Hi, Sweet Potatoes! *wink*