Chiwetel, a Nigerian man (kind of) who is not the person I’m blogging about today, but who looks good on my blog
Two days ago – December 26th – I was looking forward to going to the mall and doing a little shopping, but the snow decided otherwise. And driving under the snow for me is strictly on a need-to basis, so since I did not need to go to the mall, I sat my butt at home. But first, I made a five-minute trip to the African store to buy bread. I love that crown top bread that has eight pull-apart rolls. It’s like a big sized puff puff. It’s so stretchy. I’m probably just consuming yeast and flour, but I cannot be bothered.
When I got there, almost 10am, the store was not open yet. There was a guy standing in front of the store trying to stay warm in his jacket. It was about 20 degrees outside. As soon as I parked, he told me that the store owner – an Igbo man who always regards me as baby: “Hi baby,” … “Bye baby,” *side eye*… – was not there yet. So I sat put in my car. But the guy looked like he was freezing, which was understandable, considering the weather, so I rolled down my window and asked if he wanted to stay warm in my car. He said yes.
He sat in my car and there was this awkward silence. I didn’t know what to say. We talked every couple of minutes about the weather and the cold. He told me his name, asked for mine, and told me that he worked there. I told him my name and he asked for my Igbo name, which I told him, too. No problem.
In less than 10 minutes, the store owner appeared, so we got out of the car and went into the store. I picked my bread and headed for the counter. The man waylaid approached me at the door and asked for my number. PAUSE. See, my impression of him was that he was an American newbie who did not have many friends yet. I’d guess his age to be in the middle to late 30s. I did not want to refuse him cause I would have felt really mean, honestly. Had he approached me randomly, I would have definitely said no. But I felt like my invitation for him to enter my car was the reason he now felt like we were friends.
So yes, I gave him my number. I had barely driven off when he called. I was not sure it was him, so I picked up, and he said he would call me later. I hung up and saved his number as Ignore 3. Don’t judge me. Few minutes after I got home, he texted me and I’m typing it exactly as he did, “Thanks for your kind jesture. I will close work by 4pm, if u are free then i will like u to come.” And I replied immediately, “Come where???” Unfortunately, texts are not able to convey attitudes, emotions, and looks on faces. He replied, “Where we met this morning.” And I said, “I cannot do that. Look, I was just trying to be nice. I’m married.” The I’m-married line always works, never, ever fails. He said, “Sorry my sister, i don’t know. Please God bless u and ur family.”
In his defense, I did not have my ring on. It was in my pocket. I had just washed my hands before leaving the house, so I took it off and put it in my pocket to wash my hands. I know, I know … quite careless. Sebi I told you people that this ring thing is just foreign to me. How can I be wearing a ring everyday? Back to this guy – let’s call him Kingsley, he’s not the first person I have had this kind of encounter with. I mean you smile or do something nice, and all of a sudden, it means you have to exchange numbers. This is why I sometimes pretend not to be Nigerian when I run into Nigerians in non-Nigerian places. One little greeting or smile, and it gets misread as something else.
And even if I was single sef, so that’s how he’ll toast me? Telling me to come back to “where we met this morning” under the snow? No questions about if I was single, or if I wanted to hang out, or if I live close … just that he will close work at 4pm and would like me to come. Na so.
In retrospect, I’m thinking about it again. I should not have even bothered to be nice. And I don’t know why I was nice. I don’t have a problem saying no. Well, it won’t happen again.
i was all up in arms when I saw the title of your post, but had to smile when I read it. We get raging hormones, what can we say? Seriously, I am even surprised you invited him into your car, but na you cause wahala. Some men, Nigerian included, are always on the lookout for a sign, and he misinterpreted your gesture. Like my t shirt says “Yes, Im Nigerian, No, I will not scam you” ….I apologize on behalf of Nigerian men, but it isn’t limited to Nigerian men, its a ‘bad guy’ thing. Sorry your being kind left a bad taste in your mouth, I hate to admit it but your declaration to be less kind, will only diminish you, but that is the world we have found ourselves in. Lagosian are very unkind for a reason. Be kind still but never allow it to put your health or life at risk. Happy new year ahead
Thank you, Lulufa! I don’t want to stop being kind, really. I felt like I was doing a good thing when I asked him into my car cause it was freezing so badly outside. But you are right anyway; it’s more of a bad guy thing than a Nigerian thing. Being Nigerian, I’ve experienced this more from my fellow Nigerians. Oh, well.
He even sent me a text again the next morning, but I didn’t bother replying. His text was to say good morning. Yeah, whatever. Lol.
lol…Vera no blame the guy now. It’s simply because you’ve stayed in another man’s land for so long and have become well polished. The guy is a ‘learner’ and thought he could seize the opportunity. At least he left you alone after you defined your position. He’s even better…there are worse men who won’t leave you alone even if you claim you’re happily married and devoted to your hubby.
And please oh…not ALL Nigerian men are like this…Ask my wife!
Hahahaha. Thank you, Afronuts! I’m aware that not all Nigerian men are like this. I know, I know. Have I really been that long in Obodo Oyibo? Lol. The man surprised me sha. I’m like, ah ah, someone can’t be nice anymore? Sheesh.
Ignore 3? So who are ignore 1 and ignore 2?? At least he didn’t follow you home that happened to me once loooong story. Vera are you sure you did not smile smile at him now:) lol poor guy
Pendo, I don’t even remember who Ignore 1 and Ignore 2 are, but funny enough, Ignore 2 called me on Sunday. I didn’t pick up of course, but couldn’t remember who it was sef. Great way to save numbers. Lol.
And I did not smile at him anyhow oh. It was just my regular default smile that I gave. Lol. I don’t know what his problem was.
Oh my God Vera, u hv finished me with laff this morning..hehehehehee….”I will close work by 4pm, if u are free then i will like u to come.” ….dis one na real under d brigde moves, very very funny! my dear, biko always wear ur ring oo. Chai!, dis dude is funny sha…..LWKMD!!
Nne, see me oh! That is how you know the person is still fresh from Naija. Close work by 4pm? Who says that? Hahaha. I will try to get used to the ring. Like right now as I type this, I don’t have it on. It’s sitting in the box it came in.
Ring or no ring, some men are just funny. I remember a brother in church telling me that he noticed my ring but the Holy Spirit asked him not to be afraid. Huh?! I told him he needs to be very afraid cos my hubby is hot headed,
Hahahahahahahaha. Holy Spirit told him not to be afraid, ke?? For someone’s wife??? Hiiiiiaaaaannnnn. Holy Spirit has suffered oh! See how they keep pinning lies on him. LOL. You’re right anyway. Some people just don’t care that you have a ring. You can even be pregnant and they’ll still be chasing you. LOL at your husband being hot headed. Tehehe.
Lmao can’t stop laughing especially about the ‘Ignore 3’….I was laughing and my friends were looking at me like someone that’s crazy….that’s nigeria men for you lol.
Angela, continue laughing ooo! Not to worry, I will update the blog whenever I meet Ignore 4. Hahaha. Your coworkers will soon report you for acting crazy. Lol.
LMAO…Best pick-up line ever: “I will close work by 4pm, if u are free then i will like u to come.” Epic! Just hopped on your blog, excellent!
Looool at best pick up line. I know, right??? Mehn, it’s been a minute since I blogged about the men I meet along the way. I ought to resume that again. Thank you so much for hopping on. Hope you hop more often 🙂
Lwkmd… this guy definitely just jumped off the boat this morning. Say whhhhaaaaaatttttttt? I’d expect this kind of thing from Nigerians in Houston, because Houston is Nigeria anyways but my guy is too much.
Lmao, I’m telling you you can not be too careful with Nigerians in this country. Everything is equivalent to toasting
My dear, no be small matter at all oh! Everything really is equivalent to toasting; I couldn’t have said it better. And that store owner that keeps calling me baby, I’m still watching him.
Hehehehe, Nice one for TGIF. It’s so obvious he’s a JJC. You know you have this warm smile, even though it’s fake *wink* but still makes you look gorgeous. Some men are just “NUTT” Period. They just always want to make use of any advantage they have.
Still laughing though. 🙂
Bike, lol at my warm smile. Is that so? But yeah, it’s unfortunate that some people just want to take advantage of everything. Keep laughing ehn? LOL.
If the guy looked like the picture of the guy you put up on this post, he can meet me in the snow after 4pm anytime *wink* lol
My dear, if the guy looked anything like the picture of this guy that I put up, he wouldn’t have to text me for me to drive back in the snow. In fact, I will stand outside that shop under the snow and wait for him to “close work.” LOL
Vera .. abeg forget that “i’m married” line oh. It does not always work with Nigerians ….. in fact, some men will reply “exactly, that’s how I like it”. Nigerian men use every opportunity to toast but it’s not limited to our guys. African-American men also do it ….. they toast you at every opportunity
Manny, I know, I know … that the line doesn’t work all the time. But all things being equal, it works most times. It’s only those yeyerish men that will not care about your marital status. Even when I was not dating anyone, I’d say I’m married. Sometimes, I’d go as far as wearing a fake ring, just so that they will believe I’m married. Haven’t had a lot of encounters with African Americans. Speaking of African Americans sef, I just remembered now that I didn’t blog about one I met a while ago. Hmmm.
Vera I hope you’d be going back to the shop soon! This story needs a part two!!! LOL
Hahahaha. See your mouth. Your only concern is the Part II abi? LOL. Yeye. And actually, I go to that store frequently – about twice a week – and I have gone back once since I put the post up, but I did not see him. He was probably somewhere at the back or way inside, but I’m usually in and out of the store. Bread is the only thing that takes me there.
Lol. Vera it is your kindness that got you in trouble oh! Why would you let a strange man into your car alone with you just because it is cold outside? Abi you don’t watch CSI? Next time just wish him the best and continue on your way. Please next time just let the person be cold outside. You can’t be too careful.
I love how everyone is assuming he is a JJC. We all know He could have been here for 5 years by now and still talk/act like that. It is entirely possible with Naija ppl.
EDJ, loool! You’re just a bad person. Next time I should wish him the best and continue on my way? Hahaha. Okay, here’s the stupid part. When it comes to Nigerians, I feel safer. Yes, I know it’s stupid. But when it comes to Nigerians [in America on!] I feel like no harm can be done. I wouldn’t do that if I were in Nigeria. But here, I feel safe. It was so cold outside, nne. I just couldn’t keep watching him freeze his ass off while I had heat in the car.
Unfortunately, you’re right that it’s totally possible he isn’t even a JJC. I have met traveled Nigerians who speak worse than him.
I swear Vera, you make it hard for me not to comment. Ahn ahn! This time I must import my amusement onto your site, away from my inbox! Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Kingsley, you for come tay tay. You carry last on Vera o! 😀
Hahahaha. Well, I’m glad that I make it that hard oh. In short, I must continue to make it hard for you to not comment. Tehehehe. Don’t mind Kingsley. Yeye man. I know it was crazy to let him into my car, but I was just tryna be nice jare. Serious last-carrying!
Vera sometimes i really don’t blame a guy who makes a move like that,nut i would blame him when he continues to bug you after you tell him you are married. I once met a ghanian girl in school (university in canada) a few years ago,we talked and exchanged numbers,i called her a few times and when she was always busy,i let her be. she called me one evening saying she was in school and hungry,i drove to school,5mins away from my house,picked her up,we went to get food which she insisted on paying for,we went to my house and started eating. we sat on the same sofa side by side gisting like we had known each other since forever. when we were done eating,she asked for the bathroom to freshen up,she came back,sat beside me again and started adjusting her bra right in front of me,her boobs were almost falling out,so i took that for a sign she finally wanted to get down to business,because she already told me she was not in any relationship.but ofcos she was like come on bro,lets take it one step at a time,this is my first time in your house,we will have plenty of times like this,i said sure.i dropped her off in school,the next time she wanted to hang out,which was like a month after the first time,which was also like after one call from me and none from her,i told her i was not in the city and that was the last time i saw her.i invited her to my wedding,ofcos she didn’t attend.so to cut a long story short,maybe i should have put some pressure on her that day and gotten lucky,maybe i did the right thing and not didn’t get thrown into jail for rape,different strokes for different folks…