20 Lessons I Learned In 2018

Happy New Year, Sweet Potatoes! It feels like it was only a few months ago that I was writing a similar post for 2017, but now we’re in 2019. About four months ago, I started taking notes on my phone about the lessons I have learned in 2018, but in order to properly tell you today’s story, I had to go back and read the lessons I learned from 2017, and reading them just had me in awe. It’s only been 12 months since I wrote that post, but my God, I am in such a different place. Also, I have actually been writing today’s story for about two weeks, but I traveled for Christmas vacation and I guess I was just too relaxed to do any real work.

In no particular order, here are the 20 lessons I learned in 2018. Unlike the lessons of 2017, these lessons weren’t hard. By that, I mean I did not have to suffer the kind of emotional torture I suffered when I learned my 2017 lessons. In 2018, I was different. 

 

1.  All things are working together for my good: This was my mantra in 2018. And it was all thanks to 2017. In 2018, I learned again that although things may seem to not be going as I want them to right now, eventually they all work out for my good. They always do.

2.  Relationships are about quality, not quantity: I often look in wonder at people whose relationships have stood the test of time – relationships with friends, family, partners, etc. I have come to find out, however, that quantity isn’t always quality. Sometimes, people just remain in familiar chaos. Sometimes, a relationship is just a habit.

3.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me: Most of us have heard this scripture, but in 2018, I took on things that I did not know I had the strength to take on, and I was so proud of myself. I know I did not do it with my strength alone, but I was proud of myself for not running away. (This was one of 2017’s lessons too).

4.  I learned to examine what I tolerate: Ironically, I’m always telling people to do this, but I didn’t even realize until 2018 how much I was tolerating and not examining. Well, I cut that shit out.

5.  The first step is the hardest: I tend to waste a lot of time thinking and overthinking something I want to do, but every single time I have had the courage to actually take that first step, I end up wishing I had done it sooner because although that first step is always the hardest, everything else just flows easily.

6.  God can use a little thing to expose a big problem: I learned that some people celebrate you as long as you are pouring into them. But the moment you need them to pour back into you, that’s when you learn how they truly feel.

7.  “Positive vibes only” is not just an Instagram mantra: In 2018, I really up’d my game in being positive. I consciously controlled what I let into my mental and emotional space, and when I felt myself getting angry about something small, I immediately redirected my thoughts and feelings. I listened to a lot of preachings and motivational speeches, and I read a lot of scriptures that lit a fire in me. There were many times that I felt down and discouraged, and the way I rose up and out of those situations was by reading or reciting or listening to something positive. Worked every single time.

8. Surround yourself with people who are doing what you want: Want to get inspired and stay inspired? Surround yourself with people who are doing what you want. It may be people who have the professional life you want or people who have the family life you want. Or maybe even people who have the spiritual life you want. Either way, surround yourself with them because they will remind you that you, too, can have what they have. Anything is possible.

9.  I learned to not accept what I don’t want: As one of my favorite Instagram comedians always says, “I don’t like what I hate.” Basically, I have learned that if I don’t want something, I should say it right now and stop it right now. I should not approach things I don’t want with an attitude of, “Let me just manage it for now.” 

10.  I am learning to compete only with myself: Notice that I said I am learning, so this lesson isn’t completely learned yet. It’s so easy to compare yourself to other people and forget that you are not them. My goals are not their goals, and my life is not theirs either. But during the times I was smart enough to compete with myself, I actually felt so much better because I thought, wow, Vera, look what you did there.

11.  I have learned to be a blessing right now: This is actually one of my favorite lessons of 2018. I used to dream of becoming a blessing when I became wealthy. That was my plan because I thought that in order to be a blessing to someone, I had to be so rich that I did not know what to do with the money. In 2018, however, I did not have the kind of money I thought I needed to be a blessing, but I went ahead and became a blessing anyway. And. It. Felt. So. Good. That woman I dream of becoming, I have learned to actively start being her right now.

12.  I’ve learned to be gentle with myself, to cherish myself: As women, we are natural nurturers. We give and give and give – even to our own detriment. These days, I’m still giving – especially to the love of my life, Ada Verastic – but I have also learned to be in love with myself and to pamper myself.

13.  I’ve learned to curb my expectations and sense of entitlement: It hurts when an expectation falls through, especially when it’s from someone you care about, but I have learned to stop expecting much from anyone. It’s not that I go around expecting disappointments – no, not at all – but I have learned that I can only completely depend on myself and God. People will fail you – not because they are bad people, but because they are just human beings who have their flaws and their own problems to deal with. Sometimes, of course, they are just bad people. Ha!

14.  I do not own my dreams: I suppose I have always known this one, but I learned this lesson again in 2018 – that I do not own my dreams and aspirations, that God put a calling in my heart, and that it is my responsibility to do something with my dreams and talents.

15.  I should say yes more often: In 2018, I said yes to things that I would normally say no to. Although I admire spontaneity in others, I am not a spontaneous person at all, so when I said yes to some spontaneity in 2018, I was so proud of myself — and those yeses turned out to be great decisions.

16.  Traveling is good for the body, soul, mind, and spirit: Look, every time I traveled this year, it made me feel rejuvenated and inspired. There’s something about a change of scenery that gets my mind going and my creative juices flowing, so by His grace, I’ll do even more of that in 2019

17.  Tests and trials are not fun, but they build your faith and character: I cannot think of a time I went through the fire and loved it. However, what I know for sure is that every single fire has made me stronger and built my faith and character. Sometimes, I start getting worried about something, and then, I remind myself of the last challenge I had and how God got me through it and everything was okay in the end.

18.  I’ve learned to be thankful for the things that did not happen: It’s easy to pray and thank God for everything that happened, but I have to remind myself to thank Him for the things that did not happen because only He knows where I would have been if certain things had happened. I have to also remember to thank God for unanswered prayers that in retrospect would have ruined me if they were answered. 

19.  God still speaks: Something happened to me this year. I prayed for a sign, and the next day, God gave me the sign.  It was so clear and precise. My response was, “Dannnnnnggggg, Jesus! That was fast!!!”

20.  I have greatness within me: I don’t even know how to describe this one. I just know that I continue to be amazed of what I accomplish when I go full throttle. Part of the prayer, then, for 2019 is for God to give me the strength, wisdom, and bravery to always go full throttle.

Related: 20 Hard Lessons I Learned In 2017

Overall, I’d call 2018 my year or rebirth and renewal and rejuvenation and rediscovery.  What about you? What was 2018 for you?