Dear Vera, I have been divorced for 7 years and remarried for 6 years. I have 2 teenage children with my ex and 1 grown child from a prior relationship. We married when I was 24 and my child was 4. After 15 years of marriage I divorced him solely for his inability to control his alcohol. There was never any violence, just emotionally unavailable. I felt I was putting our children first when I left.
Our relationship for 3 years after divorce was cold and very bitter! I noticed he slowly began to change and we could have a conversation without fighting. Fast forward 2 years…he finally opened up and told me how he finally figured it out and understood why I left. All the shame and regret he had for not being a better husband. He has always been a good father to all 3 children. He actually thanked me because he wouldn’t be who he is today had we stayed married. He needed a wake up call to realize what he lost. He has never remarried.
I married my current husband out of loneliness and for financial stability. I know these aren’t good reasons but they are honest. I care for him but, I am not in love with him. I never stopped loving my ex and really want our family back together. I have told my ex this and he has told me he wants the same. I know this will hurt my current husband immensely but my heart just doesn’t love him the way a wife should. Do I stay unhappily married or give my ex a second chance?
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Dear Sweet Potato,
hmmmm… dere is no easy way to backout of a relationship,one person will and must be hurt. buh the truth is love grows with time and can be cultivated. dere is no guarantee dat ur ex will treat you better when u go back. i tink u need to sit down and make ur current r/ship work. me, i will be very clear- i don’t tink u should go back to ur ex even if there seems to be so much chemistry and love. trust me, u can make this work. jus start with the little things you love about him… a word is enough for the wise.
Words can only do so much. Hugs can do much more than words, but when hugs can’t do anything, that’s where faith kicks in. For me, words and hugs were not enough, but I had no faith. So I tried to give up. At age 10, I tried to drown myself in 6 inches, or 15 centimeters of water, in my home. I told my dad I just wanted to relax, but really, I wanted to end my life. I had enough. I had enough. Ok? Click OVERCOMING HOPELESSNESS to read.
You cant keep on switchiing from ‘current’ back to ex and from ‘ex’ back to ‘current’ . Like Vera said, if you switch and your ex goes back to his old ways? What do you do? Go back to ‘current’?
Happy Easter
You cant keep on switchiing from ‘current’ back to ex and from ‘ex’ back to ‘current’ . Like Vera said, if you switch and your ex goes back to his old ways? What do you do? Go back to ‘current’? Think twice before you make any rash decisions……
Happy Easter
Your hoe’s clock’s ticking. Gwannn! Ain’t loyal. This is how ratchet babymamas ruin men’s lives with their daddy issues.
This is a very difficult and emotionally turbulent situation. I don’t think you should rush to reconcile with your ex. Action speaks louder than words. Based on what you’ve said he has only made a few tentative steps to show you the Miraculous Change. SMH. Um no. Stay put and work it out with the man you married. Love can develop. Give it 6 months. If things don’t shift, alter or change. Start the difficult conversation.