Dear Vera, I have been divorced for 7 years and remarried for 6 years. I have 2 teenage children with my ex and 1 grown child from a prior relationship. We married when I was 24 and my child was 4. After 15 years of marriage I divorced him solely for his inability to control his alcohol. There was never any violence, just emotionally unavailable. I felt I was putting our children first when I left.
Our relationship for 3 years after divorce was cold and very bitter! I noticed he slowly began to change and we could have a conversation without fighting. Fast forward 2 years…he finally opened up and told me how he finally figured it out and understood why I left. All the shame and regret he had for not being a better husband. He has always been a good father to all 3 children. He actually thanked me because he wouldn’t be who he is today had we stayed married. He needed a wake up call to realize what he lost. He has never remarried.
I married my current husband out of loneliness and for financial stability. I know these aren’t good reasons but they are honest. I care for him but, I am not in love with him. I never stopped loving my ex and really want our family back together. I have told my ex this and he has told me he wants the same. I know this will hurt my current husband immensely but my heart just doesn’t love him the way a wife should. Do I stay unhappily married or give my ex a second chance?
Dear Sweet Potato,