I cannot count how many times I have heard a man refer to women as the specie that pees while sitting. I don’t take offense to this statement, but I do know that it is said to somehow imply that sitting (instead of standing) while peeing is just another way to show that women are the weaker sex. “Weaker,” of course, is all relative. Weaker in what way? Physically? Emotionally? Financially? Spiritually? The more specific you get, the weaker this weaker word becomes, too. Not only does weaker become weaker, but it also becomes less convincing when you think about the fact that some men do pee while sitting. They may be few and far between, but they still exist. And the most compelling argument would be that women do in fact stand while peeing (or pee while standing).
Which one of you Nigerian-bred readers can affirm to having never seen a woman standing by a corner in the street, legs ajar, one had reaching inside the general vicinity of her vagina, and of course, the loud and forceful splatter of yellow liquid pouring out of her in a straight line? In retrospect, I don’t know the sense in standing while peeing since the lower legs and ankles of the one peeing is often left with drops of pee and wet sand. What I do know is that I did it. But not outside. I did it standing over public toilets – over and over.
Most times, public peeing is done while squatting – which nearly eliminates the chance of pee and sand on the ankles and lower legs. But whether you’re squatting or standing, two things are constant: it is done for convenience and efficiency. And ironic as it may sound, it is also done for the sake of hygiene. Try not to think too much of the splashing pee and consequent wet sand. Of course, the wet sand doesn’t apply when you pee on concrete.
Just a few months ago, I was driving on the road with a bursting bladder. I tried – God knows I did – to at least get to the closest public restroom, like a McDonald-type place. They know me there already for always coming in to use their bathroom. But my bladder just wouldn’t budge. I couldn’t do anything to hold it off. Every attempt at holding it off only put more pressure on the already bursting bladder. So naturally, I did the only logical thing there was to do: I looked for a dimly lit place, parked my car, got out from the passenger’s side, and pssssssssss … yup, I pee’d on the road. On an American road! I’m almost sure that it carries some jail time.
Somewhere in the city of Baltimore, my DNA is splattered on the road in the form of liquid waste product. I think it’s an honor to Baltimore, to Maryland, and to America as a whole. Who wouldn’t want this DNA? It’s one of a kind! By the way, I should mention that I didn’t completely get out of the car to pee. Of course not! If I had done that, I might have been the next YouTube sensation, and not in the way I always imagined. I actually kind of sat at the edge of the passenger entrance. Yes, my va-jay-jay was completely open — and feeling very vulnerable too.
But hey, I pee’d while standing. What’s your story?
P.S. If the U.S. Government is reading this post, I just want to say that I plead the fifth to peeing on the road. Besides, you have no proof that I did it — not that I did. In the words of O.J. Simpson, “If I did it …”
LOL tsk tsk..
My own story worse pass this one, lmao i packed on the freeway lmao and did my release..
You’re a guy. You can even have a bottle in your car and handle your business there. By the way, I have contemplated having a bottle in the car. It’s just that my pee pee body part isn’t bottle-friendly.
“Not only does weaker become weaker, but it also becomes less convincing when you think about the fact that some men do pee while sitting. They may be few and far between, but they still exist.” Not really. Most muslim men I know sit/squat to pee. Yeah, so you got one more statistic to feel cool with yourself about, lol.
“Va-jay-jay completely open and vulnerable”: no wahala, chi gi azoo gi. If na to say I dey there, the topic of this post woulda been something like :” I got it done to me while peeing & standing (/standing & peeing).”
By the way, you need to repeat that exercise properly o. You didn’t actually stand to pee, did you? It was more of squatting and peeing which is a completely different thing!
Finally, I advise all future occupants of that famed passenger seat to be careful. I wouldn’t have remnants of a special pee-derived DNA sticking to my bum or thigh or anywhere sef 😛
Hahahaha. Okay, I was literally laughing out loud at the part of it being done to me while I was peeing and standing. And exactly what would I be doing while it’s getting done to me? *SMH*
I didn’t know that about Muslim men sitting/squatting to pee. Everyday I learn new things. Very interesting.
Per the exercise, I did it well nah. The day I pee’d on the American road, I didn’t stand, but I have stood in the past on public restrooms. So I don’t need to do it again. Thank you very much!
LOL @ your warning for future occupants of the passenger seat. Norrin do the pee-derived DNA, thank you very much! Do you know how many people are begging me for this DNA? See you. LOL.
As a woman, u can stand peeing without having to pee on ur lower leg and ankle….i think it requires some sort of expertise though or more like constant practice….when doing it by d roadside, i so stand…with a little inclination forward on d pelvic region, u could even create a foward angled movement….thus preventing splashes when d pee makes contact with ground.
In public toilets….i do a semi standing position, such dat my bum aint over d toilet, and d pee takes an acute angular movement backwards…..this one requires serious practice though….
Which ever system is applied….its all for convinience.
LOL! Nawa oh. This your peeing style is very technical oh! I feel like there should be a manual with directions. LOL. Hahaha. This is too funny. Well, I’m definitely gonna try and follow your instructions. The question is where. One day be one day 😉
I pee while standing so many times and I def agree with OK. U just have t0 stand very well to make sure the pee is not in contact with ur legs or panties.
WOW! Even on concrete? I mean, when you stand over a toilet, I think the pee won’t touch you. But what of when you stand on concrete or sand? How does the pee still not touch you?
Ewwww! But I commend you for doing you thing in public, in a dimly lit area, IN BALTIMORE!!! Now that takes a lot of guts from a LADY, with emphasis on “lady”. lmbo.
Ayo, hahaha. Thank you very much for the emphasis on LADY. That better be a compliment oh! Or else, na fight! I couldn’t help myself jare. Sometimes, a lady has to do what a lady has to do. Emphasis on lady again. Tehehe 😀
I must confess that I have tried that half seated peeing style on one long road trip to Ghana smh! Thanks for sharing I feel quite better now.
I love! love! men that sit down to pee. I know two and I had to ask cause toilet seats and floors were always spic and span after they use it 😀
Oh, wow! Wouldn’t it be nice if all men could sit to pee? I’m always fighting with my nine year old cousin about peeing on the seat. Nasty! Who wants to sit on pee? Hmmm. But it’s pretty interesting that those guys pee sitting. Hmmmmmmmm.
I make hubby sit while peeing at night. Not that I wake him up to pee (lol). But there is a standing instruction (pun intended) that if he wakes up to pee, he has to sit. who wants to sit on pee???
You make your hubby sit while peeing for real??? 😮 I should definitely adopt the same technique. Oh, wait. I don’t have a husband. Hmmm. Well, when I get a husband, I will do that to him – thanks to Opal 😀
You!
They wee cash you very soon with all these lawbreaking habits of yours and isk isk.
Sha, I’m glad you’re back to posting a bit more frequently.
See you soon.
Law breaking habits, ke? So, somebori cannot urinate in peace again without being called a law-breaking citizen? Mind yourself oh!
To the U.S. Government: If you’re reading this, please totally disregard him. He’s been spending way too much time with the goddess
Law breaking habits, ke? So, somebori cannot urinate in peace again without being called a law-breaking citizen? Mind yourself oh!
To the U.S. Government: If you’re reading this, please totally disregard him. He’s been spending way too much time with the goddess
*struggles not to smile* hmmm, should you need a lawyer to defend your ‘lawbreaking habits’ (@ AfroSays), feel free…..
Whatever!!! Vera Ezimora will not need a lawyer because Vera Ezimora did not break any law(s).
U.S. Government, sebi una dey hear me so oh? *blank stare*
Squatting on sand might cause a different type of vajayzzling – with sand. It is very itchy and uncomfortable…so I’ve been told.
And I don’t agree about our wee-wee bum being bottle unfriendly. It’s been done. And it’s especially handy in pregnancy situations. Trust me, Vera. It’s all in the wrist action.
Nwunye, ibia kwa! Wrist action, kwa? LOL. There’s nothing I will not read here. I have never tried the pee in a bottle thing sha, but now that you’re telling me it’s possible, adi’m very tempted to do it. Perhaps, I will try and bring word back to everyone. Who knows?
Please check out our website for all details.
Easy, comfortable, discreet and most of all: HYGIENIC!!!
Team P-Mate
Okay, P. Gotcha!
You always get a splash of yellow liquid or wet sand when doing it while standing? Then you’ve not tried the reverse approach.
Next time, just back a wall or the tyre of your car and release from behind while standing. Make sure the thing lands on the wall or the tyre. If you get the perfect angle, I assure you, that’s 0% splash of wet sand or yellow liquid.
It’s like pouring beer by the sides of a glass cup to avoid producing much froth. 🙂 🙂 Now you owe me 2 cents!
Nwanyi Adazi-nnukwu,i ga egbukwa mmadu na ochi.
Love your blogs,warts and all.
Jisike!
As a girl the urine will comes out like a shotgun, since it can’t comes out directly(your labia block it).
However, you can try the following Method…
Fact the toilet like a man and spread your legs.
Spread apart your inner labia (make sure your urethra opening is fully exposed) and pull up a little. Pee with appropriate force, your urine will come forward in a stream and not run down your leg.
It’s easily when you wearing a skirts, just lift your skirts and move the crotch of your panties to one side.
I advise you to take the practice in the shower first.