The one that goes off after my phone has rung and rung and a strange familiar voice has come up and said, “Please leave your message for four-four-three-nine-three-four-nine-three-zero-nine. Record your message after the tone…” A few more words, and then …. beep? Yes, that beep.
Well, here’s a funny story about that beep. Apparently, it works. You see, when you call me and that voice picks up – instead of me – and instructs that you leave me a message after the beep, it may surprise you to know that that message actually comes to me. Ah, yes, at my quiet moment, I delight in pinning my earpiece into my innerear and hearing you loud and clear as if you’re inside my head. No, really, I do.
But this can only happen when you actually leave me a message. And this brings me to my point. What is it about my dear, lovely Nigerian folks (especially the ones that reside in Nigeria) that make them (you) not want to leave messages? They (you) would really rather call me over. And over. And over. And over. Until I pick up. Or until I flush my phone down the toilet. Or hit it against the wall. Or throw it at the maid. Well, I don’t have a maid. But still.
I do not deliberately miss people’s calls — except those people’s calls that I do deliberately miss. But when I have a missed call from an unfamiliar number, I want more than anything to know who it is before I call back – no matter the caller’s geographical location. So, please, dear caller(s), next time you call me and I don’t pick up, leave me a message. Recite a poem, if you wish. Sing if you wanna. But leave a message that lets me know that a human being was on the other end of the line when my phone rang rang, and that said human being intentionally called me.
And on that note, for my darlings who live in Nigeria, *Insert serious Nigerian accent* I dey take God beg una, no dey call me at 10am your time. We are currently six hours apart. That makes it 4am my time. Sure, I’d love to be serenaded with your voice, but I’m not quite a morning person — especially that type of morning.
u no know say one min int'l call dey cost??…. I used to do it when i was still in 9ja (hehheee)… I wld let the fone ring 3-4 times, then cut it if they dont pick, then redial… Dindt see the need to leave a voicemsg till i got here…..
LMAO at Bewaji's comments. Oh my. I hate leaving voice messages too. I ts like an anti-climax.
Vera, you have read my mind. Yes it costs but you were calling me and I was going to pick up and talk to you and take up your mins anyway. Biko leave a message!!!!! Unless I recognize the number, I don't call back when no msgs are left.
O and the 2am, 3am calls do not get answered period. Sometimes I wait to return those calls at 2am Naija time, that has actually taught a few people a lesson or two.
LOL. I had to educate my ppl on leaving messages. I told them if they don't leave messages, I aint calling them back because then it is not an emergency. it worked.
I don't listen to my voicemail. Ever. If I dont answer, bikonu, text me. But if you blow up my phone, be rest assured you wont hear back from me.
It's always the awkward two minutes silence left as V. messages. S'why I don't listen to em.It says to leave a message, not use my voice mail memory to hold a memorial service. smh.
Bewaji: In that case, thank God for America that has opened your eyes. LOL.
LusciousRon: So you're one of them, ehn??? You're one of those people that call and not leave messages? LOL @ anti climax. Well, in case you call me and I don't pick up, you berra leave a message oh!
Anonymous: LOL @ calling Naija at 2am. Hahahaha. Now, that's a good one. Reminds me of my mom. She always calls so late, and when the person picks up with an obvious sleepy voice, she has the nerves to ask, "Were you sleeping?" And what you said makes all the sense in the world. The caller was gonna speak anyway, so why "save" money on voicemail now?
LucidLilith: LOL! Well, let's hope that this post works in my favor, too because the thing don tire me for real. Every day, I see a missed call and no message, and I'm left to wonder who it could have been.
Tori: It's very funny cause I actually don't like listening to my voicemail, but for the sake of those unfamiliar numbers, I listen to them. And yes, I agree, blowing up a person's phone will definitely yield diminishing returns. LOL.
Juanita: Hahaha @ the two minute silence. LOL! I totally know what you mean. You think you have a message, but all you hear is someone breathing, contemplating, if they want to leave a message, and then, finally deciding that they don't.
LMAOOO iShall Practice on my singing voice just for you 😉
Too bad! cause I would keep calling you till you hate me!
I hate talking to the machine!
Makes me feel so silly..
I just can't..
Feels so awkward.