Those people, they’re evil. I mean Macy’s. They’re so evil.
They keep sending sales booklets here, and each one is a special sale. Sometimes, they even have the nerve to call it a secret sale, urging me to hurry and come buy up before everyone else does. And I wonder, how can it be secret if you’ve sent this thing out to thousands, maybe millions, of people?
I was there on Monday evening for the friends and family sale – whatever that might mean. I don’t know what friend means to them. And I don’t know of any family member who works there. Still, they were able to lure me. I ended up buying three pairs of jeans. Sure, they fit snuggly on me, like lotion on my skin, just the way I like them. And sure, I needed those jeans. But at what cost?
When I left the store, I thought to myself, well, at least I got them on sale. Who knows when next they’ll go on sale, those jeans. And then, on Wednesday, I received another sales booklet. This time, they’re calling it a WOW! PASS. Come the heck on, man! How’s a girl supposed to do anything else with all these sales? I’ve had to invoke the precious name of my Lord, Jesus, begged Him to help me resist the temptation of shopping. I can’t fight this by myself, Lord. I just can’t do it! So far, it doesn’t look like Jesus is listening. Can’t really blame Him. There’s a war in Iraq. And in Afghanistan. And one may be brewing between North Korea and South Korea. Plus, millions are dying of hunger. My inability to stop craving new clothes probably isn’t on His Urgent list.
But as if that was not bad enough, I got even more sales booklets on Thursday. They’re having more sales on jewelry, watches, perfumes, clothes, perfumes, shoes, and much more. It’s been less than a week since I bought three pairs of jeans with my exclusive friends and family coupon, and now, I have three more sales booklets screaming my name. Maybe if I pretend that I can’t see or hear them, they’ll stop luring me.
But as if that was not bad enough, I got even more sales booklets on Thursday. They’re having more sales on jewelry, watches, perfumes, clothes, perfumes, shoes, and much more. It’s been less than a week since I bought three pairs of jeans with my exclusive friends and family coupon, and now, I have three more sales booklets screaming my name. Maybe if I pretend that I can’t see or hear them, they’ll stop luring me.
And then, I began to wonder how nice it would be if someone – but who? – would be so kind as to bless me with a Macy’s gift card. Oh, I’d love you forever. $2000 (or more) on a Macy’s gift card. I don’t want cash. My conscience would never let me blow $2000 cash on shopping for clothes and accessories, but if it’s already on a gift card, then, I have no choice, do I?
There were warm coats, dazzling pieces of jewelries, hip-hugging skirts, show-stopping jeans, attention-grabbing tops, boss-lady bags … you get the idea. And I wanted them all. I craved them. Desired them. Coveted them. Needed them. Touched them. Felt them. And in my mind, I owned them. Then I loathed Macy’s for making me do them.
I still want the gift card. I’ll love you forever and eternity, if you give me one. Just one.
