The Liquid Diet Begins

I was speaking to Uju the other day and she happened to mention something called the Liquid Diet and how a co-worker of hers did it. I’m usually not into diets because I have read and heard many times that they don’t work. The person who actually comes to mind most is Dr. Phil, and he says that diets don’t work because they’re temporary. What we need is a lifestyle change, not a diet. If you diet, you will lose weight for as long as you diet, but as soon as the diet is over, the weight comes back on, and that makes a lot of sense, no?

Anyway, so I don’t diet. Funmie has been on a diet. I don’t know the name or concept of her diet, but it includes ice cream from Cold Stone and burgers from Burger King. Uju and I have laughed our heads off at that one. So back to the Liquid Diet. Uju said we have to pick a day and all we eat is liquid. However, we are also allowed to have fruits. Liquids include soup (without the assorted meats – she pointed out (like pepper soup without the meat), juice, milk, and of course, water).

She said her Indian co-worker did it for 16 days and it cleansed his system. I said her co-worker is mad. There is no way I’m going on a liquid diet for 16 days. I don’t need that kind of cleansing. We decided that we would go easy, one day a week. Uju said she would start Monday (yesterday), and I said I would start today. My reason for picking today is quite simple: I usually cook on Mondays. I don’t want to torture myself by slaving in the kitchen and not being able to taste the fruit of my labor. Uju chastised me for picking Tuesday. Tuesday is such an odd day, she said.

Yesterday evening, I called her to check up on her. Then I asked how the diet was going, “Mehn, I just had a sandwich.” And it wasn’t liquid, in case you’re wondering. Yeye girl said she was having a headache and decided to eat. And besides, she said, you’re starting tomorrow, so we can do it together. So that’s the story. We’re both doing it today. Funmie isn’t doing it with us. She’s still doing that her other diet. She says we’re crazy. We probably are.

It’s past 1 PM, and all I’ve had is a banana. Strangely, I am not the least bit hungry. And in spite of this person next to me eating this Popeyes chicken that smells oh-so-good, I am not even tempted to eat it – not that he offered anyway. That said, I am not yet home. Home is where the temptation lies. I have goat stew, cooked by my very own hands. And I have lunch meat. And I have bread. And I have granola bars. And I have that ice cream  – can’t remember the name. And I have salad. And I have rice. I have many more foods.

I have yogurt, too. And according to Uju, I’m allowed to have yogurt. I actually have one in my bag right now, but I’m not craving it, so whatever. We’ll see how the day goes. If I make it till the end, I’ll be proud of myself. It’s a lot easier to skip meals when you don’t have to. The fact that I can’t eat these foods will make me feel like I just gotta have them. So help me us God. Uju already called me this morning to rebuke the temptation of eating solids. LOL.