To everyone who resides in Blogville, I just wanna say SHAME!!! A big, fat shame to all of you. You were all too cheap to send me a gift. Everyone came up with excuses, and even the excuses sef were cheap. *shaking head in dismay* With that being said, I guess I should say thanks for calling and/or commenting….even though I woulda preferred the gifts o!
A highlight of my day…
Everyone is running late with my gift. Funmi already got me a turquoise purse. I like it BUT it’s from Tommy Hilfiger, and we all know he does not like black people. I woulda managed it, but it has TH written boldly allll over it, so I wanna return it. What do you think? Oh, and lemme mention that she bought the purse because it matches HER shoes. That’s another reason why I should return it. That’s a picture of the bag sitting on my bed.
I stayed home all day….though I had to cook again cause mom and her people (AKA my relatives) ate too much of the food I cooked before. Anyways, Funmi convinced Boyfriend to have this Naija woman bake me a cake. Funmi ordered it, but believe me, even though it said, Happy Birthday Vera, that cake really wasn’t mine. I mean, Funmi was sooo excited about the cake ehn. She made it pink because she likes pink.
I dunno why Funmi put my age on the cake o! Anyways, I told her to clean it off and take a picture, but then she made a smudge which made it look like 23. Oh well. Funmi tasted the cake before me sef…another sign that she only used my name as an excuse to get herself some cake. Pathetic friends I have right? I did not bother putting candles on the cake cause I was afraid that blowing out that many candles would set the alarm on the smoke detector off, lol.
Boyfriend took this picture of his food…I dunno why. Anyways, that’s Funmi’s leg there and those cell phones belong to me and Funmi. The left one is mine. Do you see the two grains of rice on the table next to the food (on the right hand side)? If you can’t see it, click on the picture to see a bigger picture. You see it? So now, you can see how he’s messing up my table!!!
Busola was planning on getting me a pair of pyjamas from Victoria’s Secret. Why? Because it’s cute. Now, have I ever given this chic the impression that I may be remotely interested in a pair of pyjamas? Why needs clothes to sleep? I wear my underwear and a t-shirt to bed, and that’s just fyne! During the winter, I might add a pair of sweat pants and a sweater, but I don’t do pyjamas. I don’t even wear night gowns; they restrict my movement while sleeping. Thank God she hasn’t gotten it yet sha. She has decided to get me a pair of shoes after all.
Ibukun brought me cheesecake today…although I am a little pissed that it has chocolate in it. I don’t do chocolate. You’d think she’ll know by now, abi? Yeye girl! Anywayz, I’m keeping it till Boyfriend gets here since he likes cheesecake too. Who wants a slice?
A few things I wanna say:
* If you call me and do not leave a message, I wouldn’t know if I should call back or not. People called me from these area codes and did not leave messages: 416, 304, 620
* Biodun called me twice. The first time, I think she might have mistakenly said her real name, so she hung up and called back…then she said Biodun. Hehehe. If that’s the case, your secret is safe with me sha…unless you piss me off. I called you back already and left a message; hope you got it. Thanks for calling!
* The Professor asked if I’m married. Well, it depends. In Blogville, I am married to NaijaBloke, but in real life, I have not tied the nut yet. Why do you ask? Do you wanna marry me? If that’s the case, just know I am very open to polygamy…as long as it’s a one woman + many men arrangement.
* Calabar Girl prayed that people do not fall over themselves in their quest to do me good. Now, why would she say a prayer like that?! Of course, I didn’t say Amen to that. I want people to fall all over themselves for me. Why not, if not?
Lemme stop here. I don’t wanna make this post too long. I assume y’ll must have lives??
Night Y’ll!! (I’m off to wash dishes.)
vera wat kinda cheesecake u like make i bring am come when i come ur wood abi na hood una dey call am. i told u, all u’ll get is wat i’m willing to forego. i bought u a nite dress from fredricks of Nollywood but since ur ass dont wear such, i’ll be glad to get a refund. plus u didnt intend to call me back anyway.
@ JJ i knew it was u all the while. how texas abi se na florida u dey sef? anyway, its good to know u r alive and kicking butt.
Lee: Oh well, I have no problem @ all with washing dishes. If anything, I look 4ward 2 them. The purse is nice indeed, but should I keep it…considering that it’s from Tommy Hilfiger? Girl, my number is on public display for every1. Click on my profile. 443-834-7374
Guy Horny: LOL. A whole week?? Haba, that’s just mean! I had fun…no complaints….yet, LOL
TaureanMinx: Okay oh, I will wait till next year. How come you don’t know my number? It’s 443-834-7374. It’s not hidden; click on my profile.
TemmyTayo: I will forgive you this year, but if it repeats itself ehn! I’ll visit your blog soon as I take a shower. I wanna see if there is any update about ex-who-won’t-be-ex-for-long
Azuka: LOL. When have I ever laughed @ anyone’s voicemail? LOLZ. Anyways, I didn’t get the text because that number does not receive texts. It only receives calls – don’t ask. Anywayz, since I know it’s you now, I’ll call you back then.
Nilla: LOL. Ehen now, I have been hiding my age. Perhaps some day it will come out, but for now, I have been hiding it. Why didn’t you leave a message? I’ll call you back sha…now that I know it’s yours.
Uzo: Well, so far, all I’ve gotten is the purse. Everyone is “running late” with their gifts, so I don’t know yet if I will like the gifts or not.
Queen Ebong: Hey girl! Thanks for stopping by. I’ll definitely return the favor ASAP. Looking forward to the something special next year
NaijaDude: Yeah, I heard that message. What wear you speaking – Yoruba? Well, I’m gonna have to have some1 interprete what you were saying. I know I still owe you a call; I’m sorry darling.
JJ: Yeah, I remember you! Isn’t your birthday some time this month? I think it had probably passed already; I might be wrong sha. And don’t you have a Xanga blog? I can never leave a comment there…what’s the link again? Would like to visit more often. I thought I had escaped that “Spice” ghost oh. I guess not because some people still call me Spice..even in public! You want a slice of cheesecake?
Chief: You too you want 2 get me cheesecake ehn? No thanks! Do you know what part of my body that thing will go to? I’m guessing you know already. Don’t play with my emotions o! Get me a flippin’ gift b4 I tear another hole in ur ass. Don’t tempt me!
tear another hole in my ass? u wish u could, u wish it was possible. u want me to tell these nice people where u have ur cheesecake stored. all well i’ll be nice enough to tell them if u still cannot tell them urself.
Hey,happy belated buffdai to u…the pics of the cake was very guud…hope u had a fun day sha?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VERA!!!!!!!!!!
I tried to leave a comment on the special day but blogger wasnt letting me!
I CAN SEE U HAD FUN!
can we have a pic of the birthday girl!
I know what u look like tho…I think I’m one of the only bloggers who has seen ur pic….dont worry people she is very pretty! Dont ask me where I saw it….think!
Anyways, take care…I’ll try to call u one of these days…
Ciao
Happy Birthday Girl!! U see ur life?? U don come misquoyteme – abi u no sabi ya bible? I said:
“May men and women that u know not of, fall over themselves to do u good”
Haba? Or are u being ur usual normal self and pulling my legs?
Ur birthday cake looks swell – would have loved a bite but I’m so far away!!!
@As per ur bloke drawing u a bath – dont u live with ur mum? LOL!!!
I don’t think I’d be open to sharing with other men, and I don’t think I asked you out. Are you asking me out?
I see you had a swell birthday. I certainly wouldn’t like to try your cooking. A girlfriend took me to a restaurant and made me try some extremely spicy watery soup. I ended up throwing up.
You’re not wrong o, my birthday was the 3rd. I tire for xanga and it discrimination but here’s d link anyway http://www.xanga.com/dreamerchic3. Spice will always b wit u darling, don’t fret it’s a good rep. Yup i do want some cheesecake so badly dat i’ve gotten mine, couldn’t keep waiting for yours.
Happy belated b-day girl. it sounds like it was a wonderful day. I pray you have many more like it, in fact I pray that next year you get everything on your wish list + more.
happy birthday… nice blog… already added ur blog to my favourites and nice write ups you have. caramel from toronto.
I just reread my comment and saw I came off a bit rude. We Professors tend to be clinical to the point of being on the offensive.
Happy Birthday, Vera. Perhaps you’d like to cook me some rice, (wink, wink).
hahahhahha, see what love can do. there were way more than two grains of rice on that table! guess that’s why they say love is blind!
you obviously had a great day. i love that purse. keep it, even if it’s just to piss off the black hating designer.
Chief: Tell them what you want o! I ain’t threatened @ all! Besides, I dunno what you’re talking about.
Bella Naija: Awww, you’re making me blush, lol. Don’t mind Blogger…they act funny. They better not annoy me… or else, I’ll just vex! Oooh, it’d be great to hear from our one and only Bella Naija. Lookin’ forward to it.
Calabar Girl: I GUESS I may have misread your message. But I’m not apologizing o! LOL. Anyways, I’m gonna go back and read that message; I am not yet convinced that I read wrong. But anyways, I say AMEN (a big, fat Amen) to that prayer.
The Professor: No oh, certainly not asking you out. Just saying I’m open to being married by you. You know how that goes. So you don’t do spicy food?
JJ: Aww, you went and got your own cheesecake? Just when I put your slice in the mail. Alright oh, I’ll try to stay with Spice then…it’s not like I have a choice anyways, lol.
Yemisi: Thanks girl! I hope I get all on my list too oh, my dear. Thanks for stopping by. Don’t recall ever seeing your name here, but I will surely return the favor. Perhaps, we could become blogging mates!
Anonymous: Thanks! But how can I get to your blog? There’s no link for me to visit yours.
The Professor: Aww, how sweet! I wasn’t offended @ all oh. I went back to reread it, but no, I was not offended. I don’t really get offended/mad easily, so you’re safe with me. But thanks for coming back anyways. Sure, I’ll cook you some rice. Why not?
ChainReader: LOL. You’re the only one who will count the rice on the table. I just figured I’ll call them two. How was I supposed to know someone would count them? LOL. Anyways, rest assured, I took care of the rice ASAP. I dunno why people’s mouth must leak. Wetin sef?! Funmi is just as bad…maybe worse. I was one cookie crumb away from getting her a bib. So you think I should keep the bag? Okay, I’ll take your advise. But if I get attacked by black people ehn….! I will be tearing another hold in ur ass
ok y’ll… this una vera is juss been an ungrateful element.
I busted ma ass in tryna get dis chick a special cake for her day… i had to pick it up as early as 9am… but of course i was late. she is naw gonna open her big mouth and say dat it was all about me.
she wanted color so i got her a purse…. Vera has got to many damn shoes from me in her rack…. damn vera, am not ur man n i dont do u neither……..
naw she’s complaining about the purse being Tommy Hilfiger…plss lick ma yansh nonye… infact u are very mad.
ma promise for veras next birthday, am not gonna come to ur house n u will get a late gift… except u impress me abbi betta still beg me.
oya o, am listening
Oops..I saw the number once, but it didnt even ring a bell. Ok I OWE you one..:-)
Happy Belated Birthday girl…..
Sorry it’s a bit late hun.. but a happy happy birthday to you!
U see u’re an ungrateful element. I’ve that purse in gold or is it even brown sef. Anyways glad u had fun and tell da boyfriend (like Mari says) to stop making a mess on ur table. Pass that cheesecake here if u don’t want it and i mean all of it.
lol, I got ur message n will give u a call 2nite! I’m a lil embarassed now, lol, didnt think the 1st one actually went thru.
Your cake looks yummy, HOW OLD R U THIS GIRL, stop messing with us now, ok tell me in secret, lol. Glad u had a fun bday, about the Tommy purse, I so feel ur point, if u can exchange it, why not! I will sha if it was me, lol.
oh my gosh… gorgeous bag… luv the colour.. the cake looks just too good.. i thought i was the only cheesecake fanatic oh!!!
I see you had a fab time on your birthday. Your cheesecake looks so tempting, please send some to me over here! Ok since your 2007 birthday has officially passed, I will now start planning your present for 2008…. By the way HOW OLD ARE YOU???
glad u had fun on your Bday, next year we will plan you a Surprise party in the blogosphere!
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