Hmmm, so today, Uju and I decided to go for a step & sculpt class in the gym. I thought, ‘shebi it’s steppin, how bad can it be?” Ah, it was bad o! That instructor wore us the hell out. She just kept on going…and going…and going…like a flippin energizer battery. Uju and I were physically and mentally disoriented. We had 2 do so many movies includin something called the riding horse. We rode d damn invisible horse so many times, I was about 2 lose it. I thought, if she makes us do one more riding horse ehn..!!!
I don’t sweat easily, but you shoulda seen me. I was sweatin like I was in a Naija movie! (Seriously, has any1 noticed how they sweat in front of the cameras? I’m thinking the heat from the camera light is too much and the AC if off. Or the actors/actresses are REALLY nervous. Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. But anyways…) I kept drinkin water like a fish, and it was never enough.
The thing was supposed to start @ 6:30PM but it didn’t start till like 6:40PM. By 6:45PM, I was ready 2 quit. I just kept thinking, shit, we still have forty-five minutes to go. By the end of the class, I was delusional and suffering from a bad case of dementia. I could hardly remember my own name sef. Uju and I walked back 2 the locker room and sat on the bench for a while tryna recuperate…physically and mentally. In fact, I think I began to question God. I started asking, WHY GOD??? WHY ME? WHY?? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME IT’D BE THIS WAY? At a point, I started wondering if this exercise routine culd be reported 2 the government as cruel & unusual punishment (which is against the law as written in the constitution). But on the second thoughts, the punishment was self-inflicted, since I went there by myself.
Of course, one thing was clear after this class: we both ARE very, very unfit. You know being unfit goes beyond looks. One can be very large & yet very fit (like those footballers. By football, I mean American football, not Soccer). And one can be skinny and not be any where close to the FIT radar. Well, I’ll make it a point 2 go 2 the gym more often (it won’t hurt to be able to kick my husband’s ass when needed LOL). I wanna take all their classes at least once.
There is a class called STRIP HOP which consists of strip tease and hip hop. Hmmmm. Sounds edible. But lemme not talk 2 much b4 they get me like this damn step & sculpt rubbish gat me. Either way, I’d like 2 go and try it. By the way, in case you’re wondering, no clothes come off in this strip tease. Trust me, I had 2 ask. It’s one thing 2 walk around my house naked with the windows open (that way, I don’t really know who is watching…if any1 is watching), but for me to willingly take my clothes off in front of people that are not inside the TV??? Ah, no oh, I no fit @ all.
Well, that’s it for today sha. Until tomorrow, of course.
“strip for ppl that r not inside the tv”. Lolll. Now I feel, bad, haven’t exercised in ages!
lol @ ‘sweating as if you were in a naija movie’! Funny, I never questioned why they sweat so much. I totally agree with your theory, though. Someone turn the darn AC on!!!
Vera, you had to STRUGGLE through a step and sculpt class and you want to try me. LOL!!! This riding horse move, i am trying to imagine what it looks like, what is it abeg?
Strip Hop… I have heard of classes like that… Interesting…
You are too funny! But it’s true, they are always sweating in those Nig movies.
Lmao…. you’re so right oh.. naija actors sweat a lot.. i think it is the ac thing.. oh and naija movies should cut when the camera is visible from the top.. lol.. you see that soo much
damn@this your stepping class oh… i think the strip hop sounds interesting foreal… na that one you go sign up for babe… dont worry you don’t have to be naked.. you can wear your iro and bubba.. lmao.. that gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘traditional stripping’
Unift Vera…about reporting this exercise regime to the government as ‘cruel & unusual punishment’, I know a lawyer that can help with the case…by the time he’s through, the gym will award you damages…of course I get a cut…think about it 🙂
vera u and this ur sue this sue that, u will soon sue urself for suing. anyway go ahead with ur ng i get a decent sized cut and it aint me u suing.
Striptease and hiphop? If I understand striptease [don’t ask me how I know], it’s to the accompanimanet of slow music and there’re certain intricate movements.
It just might be tougher than what you’re going through, especially when the music you’ll be listening to will be one of those on the not-so-clear line between rap and hiphop.
I pray only Twista’s songs are played if you do decide to join :-P.
Helllllo vera…
Cant believe I never stumbled upon your blog until today via Taurean!
Very very interesting…
I just realized that about a year ago I read this article in this new mag and it made me LAUGH so hard…i was like ‘this girl is crazy’…anyway it was ur article in joy mag (the one with ann suinner on the cover)…
anyways, keep it up..
lol..which one is ‘riding horse’I bet there are no guys in ur exercise class
lol!
Vera only you and you will find a way to make everything funny, anyways about the nigerian actors my sister e don tire me, they are always sweating. the one that kills me is when they playing this wealthy people and i’m like i’m sure you could afford ac, anyways i agree i think it is the night and i wonder why they haven’t find a solution…
TMinx: Don’t feel bad; I haven’t exercised in centuries either…which explains why I couldn’t do it without almost passing out.
Beautifully Human: I have been tryna understand it, but so far, I have not been able to.
Buki: I can’t even xplain the horse ride, for real. Basically, u kinda move like a horse. There’s no real way 4 me 2 xplain it 2 u
ONB: Abi o, my sis, I’m definitely signing up for the Strip Hop class. Can’t wait!
Omoruyi: Ah, I might have to take you up on your offer oh. If it means I’m making any kinda money, then I’m definitely up for the offer.
Chief, trust me, i will be suing you too. I still remember that time you almost physically assaulted me
Azuka: Thanks for making me feel better o! How bout u join me for the class sef?
Bella Naija: Are you for real? Awww, I think that’s the article bout soul mates. But I think the publishers had a glitch and didn’t publish the whole thing, right? Can’t remember. Anyways, you can read the full article on my other blog
Yes indeed, there are no guys in my class (well, @ least, not in the step & sculpt class sha)
Moriam: Long time no hear. How body? Howz Sydney doing? Thanks 4 stoppin by o. Naija movies definitely have a very, very, very long way to go