Before I start talking about Papa, I would appreciate it if everyone takes a minute to bow their head in prayer and pray that Papa’s soul rests in perfect peace.
Let me tell you about the wonderful person called Papa.
I was quite young when I met Papa (can’t remember how old now). When I met him, he was still single, but he got married a few months later. Papa was the kind of person that everyone loved being around. He was lively, funny, and fun. His wife was equally beautiful, and was a perfect match for him. Funny enough, I never knew Papa’s real/birth name; everyone just called him Papa. He wasn’t old @ all, but I guess somewhere along his life, he got nicknamed Papa, so that was what everyone called him.
Papa had a thing for the ladies. Or rather, the ladies had a thing for Papa. Every woman on our street wanted a piece of Papa, so it was no wonder when he ended up getting two other women pregnant. To my surprise, Papa’s wife didn’t leave him; I don’t know why. I know she could have gotten any other man she wished for, but for whatever reason, she stuck to her husband’s side. They were always together.
Papa’s wife endured all sorts of humiliation – including fights with Papa’s baby mommas. Again, I repeat that I could never figure out why she didn’t just leave him. Papa’s wife and baby mommas gave him beautiful children, and they all looked like Papa in one way or another.
If one were to judge Papa based on his matrimonial life, he would be considered a very bad man for cheating on his wife SEVERAL TIMES. But Papa was much more than a cheating husband, which is why his wife and baby mommas loved him so much that they were even willing to share him. Talk about being a lady’s man.
Papa’s ‘fruitful’ life was cut short a little before Christmas (about ten years ago) when he was brutally murdered by a scavenger. Papa was beheaded; can you believe that? Such things rarely happen in the peaceful city of Jos, where we lived, but it did. Even though it’s been so long ago, I still have shivers running down my spine every time I remember the site of Papa lying there on the ground – headless. I don’t know why I had to go and look at him. The image still haunts me.
I thank God that Papa had a lot of children to remind us all of his wonderful bubbly nature. I have not had contact with Papa’s wife and children since I came to USA, so I do not know how they are faring. But I hope they’re doing okay. I pray for them all the time.
Papa, I know you’re in Heaven watching over your family. I know you’re keeping an eye on them and making sure they do not suffer the kind of fate that you did.
Papa, I also want you to know that even though I was one of those who ate your meat, I want you to know that I only did it because I hated goat meat. If you weren’t our biggest cock, I’m sure my father & brother wouldn’t have slaughtered you. But be rest assured that the hens you got pregnant are missing you – if they have not been slaughtered already, of course. Though I may have eaten your thigh, I want you to know that I thought about you the whole time!
If anyone should be condemned, it should be your killers (my father and brother). They’re the ones who chased you round the house until they caught you and snatched your life away – leaving your children fatherless, your wife a widow, and your baby mommas baby daddyless. What a world!
Seriously y’ll, Papa was our biggest cock and no1 could ever understand why alllll the hens we had followed him. There was another cock that was almost as big as Papa. I don’t know what it was about Papa that made all the hens fall for him. Was it his multi-colored feathers? The way he crowed in the morning? His skills in the sack? His big feet? (You know what they say about men who have big feet.) What??
So errrrr…. how many of you prayed for Papa’s soul to rest in errrr …… perfect stomach??? Hehehehehehe.
Night y’ll!
You got me bad.
lol @ Odududu. That’s the idea. I hope you prayed o!
me i know you don craze finish, abi se na craze man show u yansh. and to think the therapy was working out fine with u. lil did i know that u were only faking it.
Very funny, Chief! You’re just jealous that you don’t have women following you around like Papa.
Vera it is now official – you are certifiable!!!
LOL!
I’ve been had.
Wait there Vera, I’m coming with my cane!
Vera, you never cease to amaze me, very funny woman you are!!
Beautifully Human: I know you don’t mean that! You’re just jealous because you never got to meet Papa and have one of his children. Just admit it, gal.
Azuka: Wetin you fit do sef? Don’t lemme send the spirit of Papa against u oh!
NaijaDude: LOL. Did you pray for Papa? That’s what I wanna know.
ehn u this girl, see me feeling sad not knowing that it was a CHICKEN!!! So u ate Papa too abi?
lmao.. I CANT BELIEVE I ACTUALLY PRAYED FOR PAPA>>> STILL CANT BELIEVE IT>>> I MEAN I SHOULD”VE KNOWN>> I MEAN ITS VERA>>> WHEN DOES is this girl serious? lol.. i’m praying for papa not knowing he’s been digested and excreted from years ago.. NONSENSE N INGREDIENTS!! oh by the way i’m sooo soo happy they did away with that blog monitor thing.. i mean it made me nervous… lol
OMG!!! Vera, you are not ok! I actually said a prayer for him!
SILLY GAL!!!
LOL!!!
Biodun: You’re discriminating against chickens o! Yes, I ate him, but I had no choice!
Overwhelmed: So you’re tryna say that the death of Papa is not a serious issue ehn? Don’t let Papa’s spirit hear what you just said. And thank you for praying for him; I’m sure he really appreciates it.
I dunno what is going on with that neo counter, but just because of you, I will put it back up.
LondonBuki: Thank you sister Buki for praying for our brother in meat. When I was writing this post, I knew that if not anyone else, Buki will definitely pray for Papa. Mission accomplished. Thanks Babe! Hehehehe.
Gosh, I’m sooo happy. You have no idea.
*Vera sitting silently waiting 4 more victims…like Diamond. She will pray 4 Papa too*
OMG!!! finally I concur with ppl that have been attesting to ur craseness … see me thinking in my head like WTF! after reading the 1st 2 paragraphs …
Nice one gurl!!! like they say boredom atimes makes u creative ..LOL
U have a nice weekend
There is an old story of a little boy who cried, “Wolf”, and had the villagers rushing to rescue him only to find he was only teasing. When the real wolf showed up, no one answered him…VERA! VERA!! VERA!!! Learn from the little boy 🙂
PS: I knew there was a catch so I didn’t get caught praying for ‘papa’. Infact I had one of his cousins for dinner 🙂
LMAO!! I had almost chopped but I decided to read it to the very end. Only to find out that it was a chicken! Great post girl, very creative.
Holy S***, I wasnt going to pray o..and the I thought hmm…you dont went the dead to be upset..so i bowed my head and said a quick one!
U GOT ME!! ARGHHHH
You are a very stupid person. idiot and cerified fool. ode
NaijaBloke: So you’re agreeing with those psychos that I’m crazy ehn? What’s so wrong with someone tryna pray for the soul of the dead?
Omoruyi: How dare you brag about such an atrocious deed? You ate Papa’s cousin 4 dinner? That’s just wrong!
TP: Did you pray 4 Papa? I hope you did oh.
Sapphire: LOL. I like you jare. You’re a smart person. You prayed 4 Papa – good 4 u! LOL. I’m glad I got you.
SexxyB: LOLZ. Mind ya sef o! How dare you insult me when I’m tryna remember the dead? Respect urself o
in protest lets all have PAPA’s distant cousin for thanksgiving, as many of his children and step children for xmas, even for vera’s birthday in january, i’ll personally celebrate with PAPA’s distant great great great grand child
U PUNK!!! After wasting me prayer on Papa, only to know ’twas a chicken. Keep on crying Wolf now o, when the wolf finally comes, u’ll sabi. Yeye girl. Nonsense. Lemme catch u when next i come to ur zones, na both of us in the same trousers.
Vera, I have been saying it time and time again!! You don craze finish!! i was actually pitying papa’a poor wife and her randy hubby’s antics as I read the post and then I started wondering why ur dad and brother would chase hima around only to discover he ended up in ur stomach?!?!? Yeye Girl!! To think I was actually pitying the lon suffering wife of a COCK!!!
It was a nice post anyway!! As Always!!!
I think I know who Sexy b is. The girl will not let u rest with this her pet name for you – “ODE”. He He He. You deserve it!!
Vera, you – are – out – of – your – mind. And I mean that in the nicest possible way! Very nice post.
I cannot believe i fell for this. It lifted my spirit tho. Iam mourning the loss of my blog today and till december no more blogging for me.
Very very funny … I think this is the first Ode to a cock I have ever come across!
I think all of us in the blog community would LOVE to slap that eye of yours!
I dunno why all of you are complainin sef. Haven’t you ever lost someone special? Hehehehe
Chief: Mind yourself o! Why would you be doing something like that? That’s just evil!
Bijoux: Wetin you fit do sef?! You cannot do more than a dead chicken o! Oya come 2 my zone now and let’s meet. I will show you what hot water did to garri. Just wait & see.
Calabar Gal: Well, you did the right thing by feelin sorry for Papa’s wife. I mean, how would you feel if your husband cheats on you several times and gets two other women pregnant? Ah ah. LOL. Good thing you prayed for him though. Good gal! And yes, you’re right. That’s Busola. I dunno why she keeps calling me an ode when she’s the bigger ode. *hisses*
Daddy’s Girl: Should I be glad that you mean it in the nicest way? I dunno if I should feel insulted or exalted. Oh well, I’ll feel exalted, LOL.
Temmy Tayo: There’s nothing to fall for girl! Someone died and you’re mourning him – that’s a good thing. I’m glad it lifted your spirit though (who woulda thought?). But how did you lose your blog? I guess I’ll find out when I visit your blog??
1982: People just don’t take time out to mourn their cock, that’s why. But I’m sure Papa will be very happy about all the prayers y’ll have said for him.
LondonBuki: Slap which eye? This my fine green eye? Oya come and try it now. By the time I finish with you, you will not recognize urself. Don’t try me o!
Can u imagine i prayed for papa!!!! Vera u got me well…….
LOOOOOOOOOOL am i slow? I had to read that twice to make sure my mind wasnt twisted!!
too funny!
Nne – You are not serious – Imagin – Imagin – LOL – Someone needs to be revived back to seriousness – LOL.
You have got to be kidding me. I almost didn’t read it to the end but something kept pushing me, all for me to see “papa was our cock”…You are nuts for that one
Can’t believe I actually bowed my head and uttered some sanctified words….yayyy! I’ve been DUPED 4 lyfe! Lolll
You this EYE, can you LIKE update your blog????!!!!!
I wasn’t surprsed, not even a whit! And I didn’t pray for “no” Papa – I read through coz I knew you were up to some mischief.
All I can say is: YOU ARE CRAZY, VERA.
You got me laughing out loud and rolling on the floor!
I’ve sent the girls packing for your sake, so I wanna see you around!! **wink** LOL
U ARE ABSOLUTELY BONKERS!!!!!!!!!1
lol…nice one tho
I so looooove this. Very very creative stuff.
You know who, right?