You know what they say: once you pop, you can’t stop (all pun intended). Well, I have been popped, and now, I can’t stop….
Wait lemme xplain, biko. As you all know, I love God’s creations. I mean, isn’t he seriously the best artist out there? … Which is why I had 2 marry Bloke. We have been happily married, of course, but I recently realized polygamy isn’t so bad… if I am the one wife with plenty husbands. So after I acquired Bloke, I put my plan in motion 2 “acquire” Boorish Male. Well, let’s just say mission accomplished. Forget what TMinx might have told you. That girl is in serious denial; perhaps she needs a second dose of pox to straighten her out. Or maybe it’s the first one that has messed with her brain chemistry.
So err…. Guy Horny, what’s up now? Hehehehe.
Consider this my marriage proposal: *down on one knee* Guy Horny, ever since I met you, I have not been myself. I find myself doing things I usually wouldn’t be doing. I bleached my skin…just to be yellow the way you like it. I take several showers each day… just to be wet for you. (Pun intended???). I tried wearing that mini skirt you bought me, but it was too tight for me, so I rubbed vaseline and groundnut oil all over my skin, and now I’m inside it. Of course, I dunno how I will get out of it, but I will figure it out later. I wear green eye shadow all the time because I know you like it on my eyes. Even when my eyes looked like they were glowing in the dark, that did not stop me. Last week, I wore that thong for you… even though I couldn’t find it later; it must have mysteriously disappeared inside somewhere… I don’t know where. Not to worry, I have scheduled an appointment with the doctor to find it. And at your request, I wore my birthday suit and handcuffed myself to the bed. Unfortunately, I forgot to call you and let you know, and I lost the keys. So even though I was handcuffed to the bed for a week in my birthday suit until the neighbours got worried and found me in my disturbing position, it did not change my luff 4 u.
So how about it, Guy Horny??
Bloke & Boorish Male, I hope you understand that this has NOT changed the way I feel about you both. You’re still my first and second (respectively), and GUY HORNY has nothing on you.
- Guy Horny just put up a post about avaters. Check it out HERE and he has also put up the third part of his fusions with Lindiwe HERE
- My good friend, Babasola got a blog in August of 2006, but just started posting today. Show him some love, please. Click HERE
Ah ah. Wetin be this wan. Last time I looked polyandry was illegal.
Vera you no the feeling is mutual but first things first.
1. Why would you want to go to the dctor’s to get the missing thong? Thats beyond me. (tell me the truth) where did you remove it lasy?
2. Unbleach your skin. Black is beautiful.
Oh! did i sa you have to insure cos Bloke I think I can dodge gut Boorish? That Lagos boy will be a tall order
hmmmm…this is new wave of MADNESS…vera…it’s only you sha…
where did she remove it last? abi where did it get sucked into is the question we should be asking….
if your body is heated up enough…i wonder if i can fry plantain…
Only VERAAAAA…only u will concur up somn like this. Polyandry is illegal o…lol.
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Which one be this kwanu? I think we need to put a straitjacket and chastity belt on Vera. She’s going to wound some guys on blogsville if we don’t act quickly.
Now your neighbor will have to spend hours in theraphy for finding you in such compromising position. Birthday suit with handcuffs unh? Guy Horny she sure is a catch, now find a way to be no.1 and push bloke away. There’s a special prize for being no.1 ask him he’ll tell you.
So this was the sugartalk you used to lure my NaijaBloke away from me.. I knew it just couldn’t be your egusi souP(which sucks by the way!!!)… how can any man refuse this kind of proposal… chineke… and I thought my william shakespeare quotations were doing the job perfectly… Vera diri kwa careful oh.. maka I will never stop fighting for my Bloke.. NEVER!!! I’m just going to write a romantic ballad for bloke… it’s going to flabbergast and overwhelm him… so much that he’ll come back to me and our matrimonial waterbed!
Mochafella: My dear, this is Blogville. Anything goes! No rules o.
Guy Horny: Is that a yes to my proposal or not? Lemme know biko. lol @ ur question. I didnt remove the thong o…not 2 my knowledge sha. So I dunno where it is. I’m not black but I don’t think I am as yellow as you like em, so that’s why I bleached my skin. Why didn’t you tell me b4 bleaching? Okay, lemme go undo my bleach?
Jaycee: No rules in Blogville. No such thing as illegal
Azuka: You jealous boy! Leave me along o. Go and find ur own wife!
WHAT is up with you!!!?? Have you been taking crack!! you have three not one not two but THREE blog boyfies. You cant even leave some for us. LOL
Anyway,Check out a culture of silence on my blog and help spred the word for me sha.
ConfusedNaijaGirl: I’m not on crack oh…at least, not to my knowledge sha. Y’ll can have the rest of the guys; I think I’m done getting men…4 now sha
vera vera vera! and they say u are not normal. lil do they know that u r the yard stick for normal people.
Kai I am so last year, the girl no even acknowledge me! Ok now, I don dey go small claims court to divorce you oh! Judge Mablean go help us out!
IT IS CONFIRMED….
VERA IS CRAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Don’t come screaming @ me for update again missy, cos I’ve updated.
Take care.
Vera! Vera!! Vera!!! Is this ur plan to rid blogville of all the guys?
Babe u r too funny, first it was ur superman thighs now ur behind that gets things missing….lol.
Hope u didn’t use cheap beaching cream that will turn u green after a while instead of just yellow??
Lol, loving your blog, hmm all this talk of guys, ….. dont let your other husbands get too jealous oh 😉
Vera, you are getting a bit greedy… do you think NB, BM and GH will be fighting over you?
GIRLS!!!! I suggest you go and talk to these guys and lure them away from Vera!
TMinx, I think you have a chance to be BM’s NUMBER ONE!!!
Vera, can you see why I have not blogged about Ex. Uhmnnnn….. i am begining to fear you o. lol.
But don’t you think you should go for BabaAlaye. I think you guys will fit.
Kai Vera calm down! We now know that your biggest sin is GREED. Haba, how can only you lay claim to 3 guys in Blogsville. Take it easy o.
all u females in blogville wey dey talk say vera cannot do this vera cannot do that. una dey waste una time o.
look let me tell u, once upon a time she had managed twice guys as husbands and had like three assistant boyfriends. ask around town for whom bob, brature, cBrooklyn, mightyessa, fuckified are and how she was able to manage them with no friction. so all this one wey una dey make noise, in veras world she sees ur actions as cheerleading, urging her to go on.
temmytayo, dont brother about ur ex, she wont come after him just yet. cos he is too EXish for her right now.
chei i’m becoming a vera advocate.
Go Vera! Go Vera!! Go!!!
You can consider stopping when you have acquired like 10 boyfies.
Vera,you know what you want and you are going for it! Moreover the male bloggers invovled feel the same way.
To all those experiencing fears whether bloke bloggers will go round,don’t worry at least 5 new bloggers join blogville everyday!
I look up to Vera for inspiration,but Aunty Vera dis thong wey go yonder I worry o!
Chief: I’m the yard stick for normal people abi? Thank u jare, my brother.
NaijaDude: You’re the one who left me. You picked Overwhelmed’s mother over me. Can u imagine! A whole me, Vera. You no dey serious o
Nilla: Call me crazy all you want oh. But I will not be moved. Those three men are all mine. I think I’m okay for now, but you never know when I might fall 4 someone else.
Angie: LOL. My dear, wetin I fit do now? I have 2 go 4 what i want any time. I dunno how that thong got missing o, but the feds are currently investigating it.
Journey: All my husbands know I love them deeply. It’s the kinda love I cnanot even xplain. So no matter who comes in2 my life, I will continue 2 love them dearly.
Buki: You must not know the kinda power I possess, abi? They can try 2 lure my husbands, but it won’t work. THAT which is in me is greater than THAT which is in them.
Temmy Tayo: I thought about Baba Alaye, but I don’t think he’s feeling me like that…besides, he has already said he is scared of committment. AND he has a crush on a blogger. No thanks!
Favored Girl: Ah ah, wetin? There’s plenty 2 go around now abi? Any1 that want’s some1 should go after him/her (as long as he does not belong 2 me already)
Chief: LOL. You’re really becoming a Vera advocate o… but don’t worry, you will be duely rewarded. Just point 2 any girl and u got her!
Omohemi Benson: LOL. I worry too for the thong 4 go yonger. But my dear, such are the mysteries of life. I be ur inspiration ehn? Yes oh, go 4 who u want! Ignore all these small gals wey no fit tell boy from man. *HISS*
vera babilicious – so this is the sweetness youve been using to charm away NB and borish male from their lovers. Nne idi kwa egwu. This is very very serious. 3 guys, and they are following you as well. Keep us updated on this relationship thingimibob.
So your power is not strong enough for Baba! woooo wooo wooo (hands clapping mouth). See my blog
Life Of A Stranger: Nne, odiro easy oh, but you know I’ve got all the necessary equipments to face the rivals head on. My husbands love me. It’s good 2 have more than one oh. See how Bloke has been busy with work? Guy Horny and Boorish Male have been filling in for him. Ain’t that something?
TauranMinx: Look @ her. Keep running your mouth ehn, and you’ll catch another pox. This time it will be right inside ur mouth. Just watch and see
Naija Bloke, Guy Horny and Boorish Male – U all are standing there or are u sitting there, grinning as this gal is boasting about her escapades with u threee? U all know about each other’s existence and u are taking ur turns quietly while she practices polyandry?
OK oh. Since u havent complained, we all accept what madam is boasting about.
But before I go, I’m curious about the Pecking order of this marriage.
a) Which one of you is the main husband/boyfriend?
b) Which one of you is the deputy husband/boyfriend and
C) Which one of you is the Assistant Deputy husband/boyfriend?
na wa oh! shuo… wonders shall never end! anyways, while you are in the process of collecting, can you send their jilted girlfriends/wives to me for counselling? I’ll do a great job… and they won’t beef you or bother you after a visit to my oval office… my price is negotiable…
Dudette I demand that u end ur pic to me. I promise i won’t put Juju on it. But its only fair.
I DIVORCE YOU, I DIVORCE YOU, I DIVORCE YOU……
Noooo!!!! Boorish Male, you cannot do this! Nooooo!!!!!