Have you ever felt like so many things are going on in your life, and at the same time nothing is going on? That’s exactly how I feel. I feel like there are so many things going on, and I can barely catch my breath to watch it all, yet I feel like nothing is going on. I feel like I’m just watching my go by; I feel like I’m just standing at the corner and watching my boring yet buzy life. How is that possible?
You know, one thing I know for sure is that God needs to step up really, really quick before I lose my Blessed mind. I know that He needs to speed things up before I bore myself to the point of no return. If only awards were given for being mentally active right? Trust me, it sucks to be so mentally active and so full of wonderful ideas, and yet be unable to express them. All you can really do is dream them. Isn’t that the worst kind of prison?
Looking around the world, I know that there are people with much bigger problems than myself. I know some people wonder if they will make it into the next minute due to lack of food, water, etc. I know some families are so broken up that the pieces cannot even be found. I know that some people have left their homes this morning and not return, but I left my house and I’m home. I’m not worried about what I will eat or drink in the next minute, hour, day, week, and even month. Perhaps after a month, I might need to restock…. you get the point. And I know where all the pieces of my family are … well, I least I know of the important ones.
I miss my father sooooooooooooooooooo much, and I have been dreaming about him consecutively every night. I love that man so damn much. Words alone cannot express the magnitude of my love for him. And my mother? Don’t get me started on that woman. She’s my pillar of strength. I couldn’t have possibly asked for a better woman for a mother. My mother would go hungry for a month before I lack food for a day. She’s the wind beneath my wings. I appreciate her so much; my only regret is that I am currently unable to tell her exactly how much she means to me. She’s my queen. She took so much because of me. She goes without just to see me happy. Does it really get better?
I changed my mind. I don’t have much of a problem. I mean, I do, but my Blessings are a lot more. And truthfully speaking, I know it’s only a phase. I know it’s only a matter of time before it will become part of my history. I have faith in God to do right by me; he always has anyway, so I have no reason to doubt him now. You know the meaning of Vera? It’s a Russian name and it means ‘Faith’, so you see it’s kinda impossible for me not 3 trust God.
