First of all, let me point out that this post has been in draft for a while now. So I was jejely sitting down and minding business when I stumbled upon the now famous picture of D’Banj next to his two hundred thousand dollar ($200,000) Aston Martin Vantage. I saw as he denge posed on it, and I thought, shoot, I don’t blame you jare! Carry go.
But I notice that when a celebrity buys a car, it’s always a big deal in Nigeria. I’ve been out of the country for a while, so sometimes, I don’t connect. I remember when Chika Ike bought a Range Rover. I saw it as a headline too. It read something like, “Chika Ike Acquires A Range Rover.” I also remember one about Genevieve Nnaji wearing a name brand dress. It read something like, “Genevieve Nnaija Rocks Dolce & Gabbana.”
When the name of Genevieve Nnaija’s dress is news, it makes me feel like we’re not giving our celebrities enough credit. Or maybe I’m over thinking it. I don’t remember ever seeing a headline like, “Julia Roberts Rocks Gucci Pumps” or “Angela Bassett Acquires New BMW.” More importantly, I have never seen news like, “Beyonce Rocks Jewel By Lisa” (I am not in anyway affiliated to Jewel By Lisa. It’s just the name that popped into my head right now). So why is there so much hype when Nigerian celebrities acquire foreign things?
So back to D’Banj, I’ve seen this picture of him on his Aston Martin Vantage so many times that I swear I’ll recognize his car if I see it on the road. I did not even know that Duncan Mighty also bought a Rolls Royce (said to worth about $300, 000), and of course, there’s a picture of that, too.
I remember when I first heard the name, Rolls Royce. It was probably about a decade ago or so. I was at a Nigerian event, here in the States, and one of the people on the high table (yes, this was an Igbo event. Free my people abeg) took the microphone, and walahi, 75% of his speech was about how he had made money in America, how no amount of money could move his now, and *drum roll* about how he owned a Rolls Royce that was parked in the parking lot of the event venue at that very minute. We could all step out to see it, he offered. But of course! Why wouldn’t we want to interrupt the entire event of which he was only a guest, not the celebrant to all go outside and take a peek at a live Rolls Royce, in the flesh! I can’t understand why we didn’t all just go outside, photographers in tow. But I digress.
Recently, there has also been news of Oby Edozie (I hope I got her name right) who recently “acquired” a Porsche Cayenne. I don’t know how much she bought her SUV for, but from what I know about the vehicle, a brand new one can cost anywhere between $50,000 and $110,000. From what I read, this is an actual picture of Oby’s SUV. Couldn’t find one with her posing on it. Sorry. I know. I’m disappointed, too.
Just a few days ago, I was talking with someone, and he was asking what cars I would like to own. I like a lot of cars by the way. I mentioned how I’ve recently been checking out the Dodge Charger (especially after getting one as a rental car from Enterprise). Unfortunately, I doubt if my acquisition of a Dodge Charger will make headline news in Nigeria. It’s not worth $200,000. It’s not even worth $100, 000. The most expensive version of the Dodge Charger is worth about $46, 000.
My friend pointed out that Dodges are not very popular in Nigeria, that I may not find someone to fix it perfectly, if something goes wrong with it. Of course, I do not live in Nigeria, but this was just one of those hypothetical situations. And this brings me to one of the points of this post: Who fixes the Bentleys, Rolls Royces, and Aston Martins? Don’t take this question to imply that Nigeria does not have good mechanics. I’m only asking because I don’t know.
But I have a friend’s brother who works for Audi as a mechanic, here in the States. They send him to workshops, conferences et al to learn new information about Audis. He can fix just about anything in an Audi, and he gets paid handsomely for it, too. So, with that in mind I have decided that I will enroll myself in school to learn specifically about Rolls Royces, Aston Martins, Porsches, and maybe Bentleys. I won’t do the Range Rovers because since they’re like pure water in Nigeria, I’m sure there are many mechanics for them, too.
Question Number 2: On what roads do these cars drive in Nigeria? Though it has been a long minute since I was last in Nigeria, I hear that the pot holes have only gotten wider and deeper. Judging from the size of D’Banj’s car, there is at least one pot hole big enough to take the car – with D’banj and Don Jazzy in it.
Here in the States, I hear a lot about the organizations and foundations that celebrities have started or are supporting. I don’t remember which Nigerian celebrity I have heard or read such news about. Is that because the media does not create a buzz around these things? Or is that because giving back isn’t news worthy?
Seriously, on what roads will these luxury cars drive? And who will fix them when something is wrong with them?
Vera you will not kill me! LOL @Range Rover is like pure water in Naija lol but seriously africans though we need to get our priorities i worked in Sierra Leone (i am an international development worker) for the better part of this year and the amount of $50,000 cars in Freetown does not equate to the level of poverty in that country and some have four or five cars i mean you can only be in one car at a time right and this is in a country where primary school kids go to school in two shifts coz they don’t have enough classrooms to hold everyone at once!! why not use the money to buy the extra three cars and use it to build classrooms for the poor kids
Pendo, isn’t that just crazy???? Not enough classrooms, but yet, people are comfortably riding around in cars that are expensive enough to save an entire city. *SMH* That’s so sad 🙁
Okay oh. Vera, I swear this is the funniest post you have written in months!!! I like that our celebrities are doing good and making the news. But I think it has more to do with publicity. When you see the headling, “XYZ Acquires A New [insert commodity here]” it is nothing more than a press release from a publicist sent out to media to keep clients in the news and relevant in the industry. Actually it makes me laugh because real celebrities try to keep these kind of purchases under the radar. Nothing like rolling up and taking people by surprise. You never hear Oprah (for example) announcing she just bought another piece of real estate worth $100m. It is just tacky. And as Nigerians we like to show off wealth, so we keep seeing these purchases that exaggerates the gap between the obscenely rich and the two-meals-a-day regular folks.
Can’t wait to see you unveil yaself in January.
Lucid: I agree!!! It’s the empty vessels that make the most noise. Meanwhile, stop looking forward to me unveiling myself in January. Instead, follow in my footsteps and unveil yourself.
Our priorities are screwed in Nigeria. Besides I hear Duncan Mighty does not own the rolls royce, it was used to shoot his music video. Sometimes these cars are actually not owned by our so-called celebrity but the media is always quick to rush and assume they own it.
As per the road, it is still same Naija roads oh with the pothole, who cares if the roads are bad…Koko is the people can see me inside big cars.
Lara: What?! He doesn’t own it??? So why the viral photo shoot? LOL. Well, whatever!
Your post was hilarious and on spot jare.
I dont care that they are buying new cars and i wonder why they think it is important to the rest of us. smh.
That your business plan is the way forward my dear. Lets help the money-miss roads spend their money 🙂