I was at Funmie’s house on Saturday to give her the pleasure of perming my hair. It had been almost six months since I last permed my hair. Now my hair is so thin and short, I can’t stop touching it. I feel like I can count all its strands. The last time I washed my hair, it was so tangled that while I combed it, I could literally feel the hair pulling off the follicles on my scalp. Never again will I put myself through that. But I digress.
While I was at Funmie’s house, Ireti decided to make a list. By the way, I should clarify that Ireti is Funmie’s baby sister, not Funmie’s daughter as is widely speculated. Yes, they have the same father and mother. Yes, Funmie’s parents are baaaaadddd! No, neither Funmie nor I witnessed the conception of Ireti. Uhm, eww. I digress again.
Ireti made a list containing eight little girls, herself included. This was a list of the flower girls for my wedding, which is scheduled to hold this weekend – Saturday, April 2nd 2011. Today isn’t April 1st, so this obviously isn’t an April Fool’s post. However, Ireti knows many things that I don’t know:
- She knows that I’ll be getting married this weekend.
- She probably knows who I’ll be married to.
- She knows I want eight little girls as my flower girls
- She knows the color(s) I want them to wear
- And, she knows I want her and the seven little girls – most of whom I don’t know – to be the eight little girls in my wedding.
It is settled then. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Ireti went to church and called a meeting – yes, an actual meeting. She called it a meeting – with the rest of the little girls. They wanted to talk extensively about the wedding. Unfortunately, one of the girls, Tola backed out of being in my wedding because she was not feeling fine. Ireti, as you can imagine, was not very pleased to hear this from Tola. Saddened by Ireti’s frown, I suggested that we both engage in a two-day dry fast. We should be determined to do anything and everything to have Tola be a part of my wedding – whoever Tola may be.
If you’re wondering why I did not tell you about my wedding, it’s because it comes as a surprise to me. I don’t know how Ireti got wind of this wedding that she’s planning ever so passionately. I have asked her several times who my husband is – just in case she really does know something that I don’t – but she has kept mute, only telling me what colors she and the other flower girls will wear and which little boys they will walk with. Oh, and of course, telling me in a matter-of-fact way that I will be responsible for buying her dress.
So, come Saturday April 2nd 2011, I will be happily wed to someone. Venue, time, and groom to be announced. I hope the powers that be don’t schedule the wedding between 10am and 12pm U.S. Eastern Time because I will be hosting the Beaten But Never Broken show then (about domestic violence) with Miss Iyabo (a former victim of domestic violence). I suppose it would be rude to host a show while I’m exchanging my vows with my husband, no?
The question now is, who is coming to my wedding? 😀
“From the lips of children and infants, You, Lord have called forth Your praise …”
~ Matthew 21:16
Aww! Are you really getting married miss vera? At least i know the title is gonna change to ‘mrs’ *lol* wish you a successful marriage ceremony & a blissful and happy married life… And you could always get a replacement for tola since you obviously dont know her, instead of having a dry fast for her to come back.. *lmao* People should be passionate bout doing something and not been forced into it.. My opinion though…
Funmilayo, love … I am definitely getting married. It’s just that I currently don’t know when, where, or to whom. Ireti is just working as the mouthpiece of the Lord. As for Tola, forget that one jare! I don’t even know who she is.
I’ll be there, but I just need my plane ticket. Please tell me that Ireti will put it in the mail.
Doesn’t Ireti mean something about waiting for or anticipating something? Or hope? I think Ireti was part of the plan oh!
GNG, very funny! Of course, Ireti will definitely send you your ticket. Ireti does mean waiting/anticipating (according to Funmie). LOL @ Ireti being a part of the plan. Well, let us keep watching. Time will tell, no?
And she quickly found the appropriate Bible verse to back her up. No-one can say our dear Vera abughi ada Chukwu.
Don’t you just love lil children strike that little girls. They can be so determined about this kind of thing. Opportunity to dress up and be stars! Dont be surprised about the quarrels that shall arise from this white ele… wedding. oops!
Ginger, lol @ being ada Chukwu. I wear it as a badge of honor. Nne, it’s not easy being the first born oh! Odiro easy at all!!! My dear, the determination is ridic! The way she’s been rallying these little girls around, you’d think I at least told her that I have a man. Ireti is just something else walahi.
Vera!!! The plan was I was going to be the chief bride’s maid. I am checking the net for my ticket ring away. Please kiss ireti for being such an innovative wedding planner,me love her. Kids ……
Sweetheart, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you on time oh! As you can see, me sef, “they” didn’t give me enough advance notice. Biko, check very well for the ticket ooo! You’re still the bridesmaid. You sef, you know now. How’s my boyfie? 😉
Ireti is a planner wch i think i should invite for my occasion as well,as for u,happy marriage life u dont even need to pray dat much bcos u’ve got prayerworriors fastigng&praying 4u.Any way tell ireti to bookthe tickets for ppl coming 4rm nig,andwe in uk to send d dresscode to us as well. I blif bble passages re prepare and email for pastors for d wedding.Happy marriage life.
Hahaha. Rebby, you’re not serious at all. Pastors indeed. The girl is a serious planner oh. You should totally book her for your event. The only thing is, she might plan it without telling you anything. But sha, I’m sure the event will go well anyway. Happy married life to me for sure … and to you too 🙂
I rest my case! I’m loving your topics nowadays…keep it up girl!
and that wedding! I can only :D…you gotta love Ireti!
I’ll attend. LOL. This post is just too funny, Ireti is adorable, trying to marry you off before you even know your husband. Lol. She might become a wedding planner when she grows up at the rate she’s going.
Jaycee, see your mouth. Of course you’ll attend this one. LOL! You’re right sha. She just might become a wedding planner. One never knows these days. But she should have at least asked if I wanted to be married. The way she has done it, I feel insulted! LOL
Not to worry Vera just tell Ireti that I will talk to Tola and she will eventually be part of them flesh and blood.
Therefore whether you like it or not come Saturday you are going with that guy courtesy of Ireti. This guy must be so lucky.
Eeyah we will deeply miss you O.
Vera can you ask Funmi what her opinion is about all this Ireti’s arrangement. Biko.
Indeed, it’s whether I like it or not. And do you know that she has still not let me know about the wedding details. I don’t know the time, venue …. or the groom sef. Per the guy being lucky, ah ah, that one na common knowledge! I am the best thing in the market these days oh. LOL. Funmi supports her sister’s craziness … of course. Why am I not surprised?
Lmbo….I love Ireti!!
Too cute…Pls take pictures of the wedding!!
😉
I sure will take pictures! Although I’m hoping that Ireti that little detail covered. As the bride, I just wanna show up and look cute … you know, just the way it should be.
p.s
I love the Verse at the end…
Awwww. Thanks. Love it, too. Jokes aside, I always get my little cousin to pray for me. He’s nine years old, and I believe God hears him.
lol… @Ireti.
Hope d husband she picked for u is fine, imaging her oicking some gangsta 4 u lol….
They no born Ireti well to pick a gangsta for me. I will show her what hot water does to garri. No try me oh! LOL.
ok so VERA conveniently forgot to add this part…
Vera: uhmm ireti who will be the husband
Ireti : Aunty Vera, u know, the guy you are always laughing and smiling with on the phone
Vera: *turns to funmie, gives her a stern look*
Funmie: *turns away and keeps it moving*
Ireti: Yes aunty Vera, i know *then back to playing on her toy laptop*
Iretiayooluwa (n) : the expectation of the joy of the lord.
This babe has been so so so much joy to us! i bless God for ma parents freaky moves….. ehehehehehhe.
Dear Funmie, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about. And LOL @ Ireti’s toy laptop. Y’ll are so wrong for giving that to her. I saw her passionately playing on the thing. *SMH*
Will there be a stream on BlogTalkRadio?
Honey, of course!! There will be a live stream of it. You’ll hear my hubby and I exchanging our vows. He’ll pledge eternal love come what may. I’ll pledge eternal love — depending on the situation. LOL. But yes, it will be and direct on Blog Talk Radio.
Hey V, congrats o. Pls tell Ireti she missed out three little girls o, how can my trio not be part of your train? Since Tola is dropping out, you’ll have 10. Perfect number! And we aunties of the day, what is our colour code?
Bia Joxy, so this is the comment you said I should run and come and read, ehn kwa? You want to include your girls in the wedding that I still don’t know anything of. Joxy, don’t allow me to hiss for you oh! And by the way, you know you owe me plenty, plenty food, right?
Anyway, I guess I’ll let you put your girls … especially E-Baby. Color code for everyone else is royal purple purple and very bright yellow.
Ireti certainly knows something u big aunties don’t…lol…pls update us on the happenings on saturday (besides the show, that is).
Seee? That’s what I said, too! The babe knows something that we don’t know. I will update y’ll after Saturday sha (or on Saturday during the wedding). Stay tuned!
i am still laughing
BBB, no be laughing matter oh!!! This is very serious. I am about to be married off to a man that I don’t know, and you’re laughing? *HISS*
I say a very big AMEN to Ireti’s prayers.
Well, it’s Saturday already. In a few hours, we’ll know how far this your Amen went. LOL.
and ayam late again.
Happy married life. Left a crate of fresh Agbalumo, wrapped in gold bows, satin and tins at your mother’s.
I’d leave another one when you get married again, and you actually know about it.
AfroSays, I didn’t see the agbalumos oh! Please resend. And as for the wedding, I didn’t see that either. LOL @ getting married again and I actually know about. Indeed!!!