MUSICAL CONDOMS http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/10/kondor.jpg
And I thought things couldn’t get worse. Why the hell would some1 need a musical condom? It’d great 2 hear music while having sex, I guess, but why from down there?? I’m still tryna understand the use/need of glow-in-the-dark condoms, and now this?? What do the glow-in-the-darks do? Give the penis light to find it’s way in the dark dungeon? I mean, in a dark room, all you’d see is…. a banana-shaped thing glowing in the dark. That’s kinda scary 2 me.
Anyways….so the muscial condoms become louder as the sex becomes more passionate (if the people having sex are as loud as mu neighbours, then adding musical condoms would just be wicked 2 the neighbours!).
Apparently, it was invented by a Ukrainian called, Dr.Grigoriy Chausovskiy, but don’t worry, you won’t be electrocuted in the process of this condom singing (that’s what he said).
So many thoughts r runnin thru my head (as usual): does this thing run on battery or electricity? I’m hopin it’s not electricity sha cause I know electricity does not mate well with wet surfaces. And if it runs on battery, then wat kind? What if the battery gets in there and gets outta the condom and then gets lost inside the woman? That wuld be a new problem o!
Lastly, I have to wonder though: if for any reason, this condom becomes faulty and decides to electrocute, who will be most traumatized victim? The penis wearing it or the vagina in which the evil, evil condom is lodged?
EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
I’ve been forgeting to mention the fact that I saw the movie, Employee of The Month on Saturday. And it was funny as hell. It was laugh out loud funny! I laughed so much I had tears running down my cheeks and my ribs were hurting. I’d recommend any1 to see it (if you’re a comedy lover). I wasn’t gonna seeit cause I don’t like Jessica Simpson (as much as I used to) cause of the divorce from Nick. Of course, I’m sure Jessica doesn’t give a rat’s ass what some Naija gal in Maryland thinks about her, but oh well.
Needless 2 say, I think she is exceptionally beautiful. She has such a beautiful smile…am I the only one that thinks so?
Anyways, click HERE to watch the preview.
MY DATE WITH NOAH BENNET
My mother is obsessed with the daytime soaps on (Passions & Days of Ours Lives) on NBC. She almost goes 2 work late cause she’s tryna catch one more minute. I used 2 watch Passions, but I quit cause they seem to not be going anywhere…@ least, not anywhere that I want them 2 go. And besides, the things they do are soooooooooo stupid! They make my skin crawl.
Anyways, for whatever strange and unknown reason, I dreamt about Noah Bennet on Passions, whose real name is Dylan Fergus as I just found out. Yeah, yeah, I know you were thinking it was a real date, but trust me, I’m wishing the same too!
The dream: I was sittin on a couch (don’t know where this was) with Noah’s head on my laps. I was playing with his hair and we were talking (can’t remember wat we were talking about).
The he said, “I can take you on a date, can’t I?”
I said, “Don’t ask me if you can take me. Tell me you’re gonna take me.”
Then……MY MOTHER WOKE ME UP
SSHHHHIIIIITTTTTT
Don’t u just hate when that happens??? She woke me up cause I had 2 go help my grandma take care of her three kids (that she babysits) while grandma goes 4 her eye doctor’s appointment. And boy, did those kids piss me off! The youngest one (five month old baby) kept on crying and crying and crying. Soon as grandma came in, he stopped crying. Well, at least I learnt one thing from him: I’m definitely gonna need a maid!
Who knows what coulda/woulda happened between me and Noah/Dylan? (In the dream, I called him Noah – all the better to emphasize it wasn’t real since it’s not his real name *sad*). i coulda woken up this morning with his ring on my finger…who knows? I wanted 2 say I coulda woken up carrying his baby, but on second thoughts, that would be a real-life omen. How would I xplain that I got pregnant in my dream? Would that be considered an Immaculate Conception, or a demonic attack? I’m thinking it’d be called a demonic attack. http://www.nbc.com/Passions/photos/cast/images/c_fergus_1.jpg
Anyways, the point is, I think this Dylan guy is FINE!! Yes, I know I’m always talkin about fine guys, but what else is there 2 talk about? The ugly ones hardly leave any impressions (that are not sheer rage) on me. No offense to any ugly man out there, of course.
PHOTO BLOG
I have seen quite a few photo blogs, so I have been thinking bout having one of mine. But the thing is, I am not a professional photographer, neither do I intend to become one. And besides, I don’t even know how to edit pictures and all that stuff. I’m sure I might be able 2 educate myself if I take the time out to play with it, but there is just so much else to do. Well, I’m still thinking about it. I’ll decide some time…. some day…
That’s it for today. We’ll see again tomorrow.
musical condoms, eh? and thats in addition to edible underwear, falvoured condoms, chocolate body paint, etc. whatever next? the mind boggles!!!
u should consider the photoblog thingy. I’m sure you’d have no problems adding photography to ur list of talents.
only vera would find stuff like this, and they wonder if u are OK. the same reason why they now have chocolate flavored beer is the same reason why they would have music playing Gloves.
Beautifully Human: Indeed, you’re the right. The mind does boggle. Just when you think things can’t get any crazier, some1 comes up with another crazy idea.
Chief: Please! Don’t act like u don’t know wat it is…or like you’ve neva used it. I know you have. You told me yourself
vera…i think i will go and see the movie but if i dont laugh ehn….abeg just dip your hand into your account for my refund
vera! i told u wat? where?, when?, how?, with wat? abasi mbo o! now all these nice people would think i’m in the same asylum as u.
You changed your template… it was such a shock. Seems like a completely different blog.
I think it’s mechanical energy that’s turned to sound energy with the musical condoms so the faster the ‘motion’, the louder the music. LOL!!!! LOL!!!! LOL!!!!!
That Soap Opera guy is not bad oh.
As for photoblog, if you start one, let us know… just let your viewers know you are not trying to be a super photographer cos some of them leave some mean messages about talent.
Enjoy your weekend 🙂
Diamond: don’t worry. You’ll love it. But if you don’t…well, that one na ur own o! LOL
Chief: did u read wat u wrote? “People wuld think we’re in the same asylum”? So you’re admitting that you’re in an asylum ehn? Good start boy!
Buki: Yes oh, I did. You don’t wanna know how long it took me to do that. You know I’m not a computer genius, so I kept on doing trial and error. This has been ongoing for several days now. MM, thank God for that “preview” button sha
Hey with the idea of musical condoms and mechanical energy being turned into kinetic energy…does the wearer have the chance to do a solo or duet? Does he have the choice of wether to sing rock, R&B, Beethoven’s classics or grunge metal :-)…the mind just boggles at the possibilities. Supposing he lasts less than 5mins does it mean they won’t be able to record a full soundtrack…it’s not my fault…ask the guy who invented the thing.
Vera, I like the new look..Bold and Sexy and adds more energy with the choice of colors.
oh wow girl…loving the new look. at first i was like WHO HIJACKED VERA’S BLOG. Proud of you…trial and error…that’s how i did mine. it’s still a work in progress sef.
LOL @ Omoruyi..the possibilities eh
Nice post. You changed your template eh? Now I don’t have to scroll!
Omoruyi: when I first read your comment, I was thinking, ‘if only we could find out’, but after much thought, I realized we can! Since it’s a male condom (thank God), how bout you wear it and tell us what we wanna know?
Yes o, Diamond. At least, you sef, you know some stuff bout this template thingy, but I’m just learnin as I go. So you can imagine how many calories I burned tryna figure it out.
Azuka, as u can see, I’m gettin better. Watch out…because I might just steal ur computer genius thunder if u don’t take mine (lol, I wish!). And yea, u don’t have 2 scroll. I’m tryna figure out how 2 increase the font. I think it’s too tiny (though my resolution is high sha)
LOL! The possibilities are endless; just think how much money we could make. I need to think of something to come up with also because that’s how people become millionaires here.
Perhaps I should invent video condoms; this is how it would work. Every time people have sex, everything that happens “in there” is taped. Later on you both watch the video and you can pinpoint what spot he hit that made you moan the loudest. Therefore next time, “he” knows what route to take…see, win win situation.
Or I can invent rotating televisions, why? No reason, just for the heck of it. Sue me
Or maybe camouflage shoes, so where ever you go it blends in with the environment. You come into my house and you see my pristine white carpets, your shoes had better be white oh – oh my god! I’m on a roll
Vera, look in your template. Change
body {margin-top: 32px !important}
to
body {margin-top: 32px !important; font-size: 12px;}
or if that’s still too small, change it to:
body {margin-top: 32px !important; font-size: 13px;}
Musical Condoms? Not sure I like the sound of that. Would it need to be connected to electricity for the singing to start? LOL
Have u downloaded picassa? I’ve dabbled a little bit with it and it makes photo editing so much fun. Gives my pictures a whole new meaning. Adobe Photoshop Creative Suite 2 is another good tool but am still saving up for that. Decided not to start a photoblog afterall cos it’ll be dificult to keep up posting pictures each day. I’m contenet to look at others’.
Since Vera has mooted the idea for me to be the ‘Guinea Pig’, rather than wait tell you guys if the musical condoms can secure me a Motown contract or help me win the X-Factor, maybe we could just mail the guy who invented the darn thing and ask for him to send us lab results 🙂 Have a great week!