How on earth did I get on Uju’s bad side? And more importantly, how long will she count my act against me? Uju and I don’t really have misunderstandings like that; not that we never have, or that we agree on everything, but somehow, we just don’t have misunderstandings like that. We understand each other on a different level. For one thing, we are the only Igbos in our cirlce of friends. Well, actually, there are three of us, but the third girl (Toha) isn’t always there.
Now, lemme xplain how I got on Uju’s bad side today. Remember I told you about Funmi’s two friends from Boston? Well, we were all supposed to hang out today like we did yesterday, but I would not have been caught dead in a club. Here’s one thing about me: I love parties, but I am unable to attend them all the time. I mean, the only way it can be fun for me is if I go for a parrty once in a blue moon. With that being said, the last time I went for a party was on my birthday (14th Jan), and as of now, I don’t feel like going for a party yet. My cousin, Arinze is always saying I am dry, but I just can’t force the ‘party spirit’ unless I am well due for a party tune-up.
Another thing is that I hate, or rather, dislike clubs. I don’t know why, but something about being in the midst of so many strangers grinding up on each other, and me running the risk of having my ass felt by a drunk moron just gives me the heebie-jeebies. I mean, when I go for a party, I go buck wild! Well, maybe not buck wild, but I do get my groove on; I cannot afford to let an outfit and an hour of make-up go to waste.
Now why am I talking about parties and clubs? Well, Funmi, or rather Funmi’s friends from Boston wanna experience the Baltimore club scene (not that I feel there is anything to be felt!), but I told her from the get-go that I had no intention of draggin my ass down to a party, talk less of a club. For whatever reason, Uju tried to convince me to go (since she’s going too). She begged and begged and I honestly felt bad for refusing to even consider the prospect. Now, she has made a mental note of it…. damn. If I were a guy, this would be the time I would go out and buy flowers for her, but since I’m not a guy….how am I supposed to appease her then?
I know Uju might be feeling a bit lonely at the club cause she’ll be the only Igbo girl among the bunch that are going. Not to sound @ all tribal, but when these Yoruba folks get together, they speak Yoruba from A-Z… not @ all minding that there is a non-Yoruba person in their midst. I’ve learnt to live with it, I guess (do I really have a choice?), but having Uju with me has always been a huge cushion cause more times than I can remember, I always get lost. Sometimes I find myself wondering “why the hell am I even here?” Don’t even lemme talk about when they start watching Yoruba movies and asking me if I understand. Duh! I enjoy their (Funmi & co) company and all, but damn, can a sistah get a language break?!
Uju, I hope you read this sha, and when you do, just know that I am truly sorry. You can see how sorry I am cause I am writing this on my blog and risking getting some inquisitive emails from Naija men asking “I don’t mean to sound rude, but are you gay? ‘Cause if you are, that would really be a waste”. Mama G (Uju), you know I gat nothing but love for you.
And before I get any of those redundant emails… NO, I AM NOT GAY!