Chiwetel, a Nigerian (kind of) who is not the person I’m blogging about today, but who looks good on my blog
When I think about the different men I have met and their very different personalities and interesting lies, I cannot help but look forward to marriage. I cannot wait to have a family story night where daddy and mommy get to tell the children stories that start with, “Don’t be like your mother oh! When I was your age, I met a man ….”
And this brings me to this guy that I want to tell you about today. Let’s call him Mr. Not-So-Sleek. Once upon a time, we used to talk, you know how it goes. It was that phase where the guy is saying, “Come on, give me a chance,” and I’m saying, “I’m not sure about you yet / I’m still getting to know you / I’m not ready yet …” Yeah, that phase.
This particular encounter I’m about to tell you about, it happened in 2008, I believe, and I had completely forgotten about it, but thanks to Busola’s retentive memory, she reminded me yesterday. I don’t know if I should be freaked out or happy about it [her retentive memory, I mean].
So, Mr. Not-So-Sleek and I, we used to talk almost everyday – except for days when he would magically disappear off the radar. One of such times he disappeared, we did not talk for about two or three days. When we finally did talk, I asked if he was okay, and he said, [paraphrased, of course], “Yes, oh, I’m okay. I was in an accident.”
Me: Oh, my God! Are you okay?
Him: Yes. I’m fine now. You know that bend once you come off my exit and into the highway?
Me: Yeah?
Him: Yeah, that was where I had an accident oh. You know the bend is very sharp. I had just gotten on the highway when a car hit me from the back.
Me: Oh, my God. But you’re okay, sha. Thank God. Did you get injured?
Him: I was admitted in the hospital for the past two days.
Me: You were? It was serious then.
Him: I had a bruised rib.
Me: *Confused* Bruised rib??? And they admitted you for two days for that?? Nawa oh. Either you have a presidential insurance or you’re really ballin’ cause the America I know, they discharge people who had surgeries the same day, because insurance doesn’t want to pay.
After trying unsuccessfully to convince me that he had an accident, he finally said, “You this girl, you’re too smart!” Then he laughed, tried to play it off, tried to make it seem like he was joking all along, but he and I knew better. I don’t know why he tried to lie to me. The situation did not call for a lie. He could have simply said he was busy, and I wouldn’t have asked any further questions. But he decided to tell a dumb lie that had no head or tail.
But you know what’s worse? His lie isn’t the worst that I have heard. Oh, I’ve heard more creative lies.
Is this part one of two? I was searching around for the rest of the gist. So what happened to MrNotsosleek in the end? And where are the other creative lies? Ehn?
LOL. Tatafo. Instead of you to be saying, “Don’t worry, Vera … I’ll hook you up with foine brotha!” you’re asking for part two *shaking my head*
Please I want to read more of the lies you’ve been told. I’m very sure they’d be very interesting.
I don’t think I appreciate how enthusiastic you are about the lies I have been told. LOL. It’s almost as if you’re excited. What am I saying? You are excited!
*lol* very funny.. But i still wanna hear more of the lies…
You too????? What is wrong with all of you sef? π
Lying (Joking) of an accident isnt nice! I wonder how many more lies MrNotsosleek has in stock……
I know! Who jokes/lies about that? What if his lie gained life and eventually happened? Well, shoot, it’s been two years since we spoke. It might have happened. LOL.
lol…I think u need to remove the “so” from his name…and add “at all” behind the “sleek”…
No be lie you talk oh. Clearly, I do!
ehehehehehhehe me too (inside joke).
Homeboy might be reading this oh….. and u are a big fool. wat an abrupt ending. though i prolly know all dem tales…. its fun reading n refreshing ma memory.
I started feeling sleepy jare. No, more like, I fell asleep, woke up and then pressed the publish button. And well, here we are. I guess that’s why everyone wants the Part II of the gist. Let him read all he wants.
And lol @ the inside joke
and fix dis comment thingie joh! i can do much better with notifications
Yes, ma’am!
Vera Vera Vera, how many times did I call U(a la home videos)? Happy birthday, wish U a happy and verastic day, though am not d 1st. Ur Range and range of perfumes r in d mail. Have a great one.
Awww. Thanks, honey. I’ll be waiting for my Range Rover and perfumes.
Happy birthday Vera. May your remaining days be filled with laughter, and may you receive grace to fulfill your dreams and aspirations this new year, in Jesus’ name!
Amen!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, darling. You’re still standing strong, I see π
Lol, trying to be sleek. Didn’t they have Google back in 2008? He couldn’t come up with a more creative story? Na wah oh.
Nne, amaro kwa’m oh! The story just get one kin serious k-leg. Having learned how stingy insurance companies are, I just knew there was no way he was in the hospital for 48 hours … for a bruised rib. Madness.
Hey babes, how come there’s no birthday post eh? Just to say I’m back and I missed your gist. As for Mr not sleek, na yeye dey worry him, prob thought you were a shoo over..
Myne, leave me alone oh! I’m still vexing that you left sef and you’re here telling me you’re back. Maybe you and I are not even talking *folds arms in defiance*
Don’t mind Mr. Not-So-Sleek. Na really yeye dey worry am *Rolling eyes*
I hope this guy’s name is not Mike. I have heard a similar lie, but i also did not fall for it π
Hahahahahahaha @ Mike. No, sweetie. His name is not Mike. But I know one Mike like that … and well, let’s just say he deserves a post on my blog, too. How’s your Mike? π
Babe, you too sharp! You for collect back all the energy you expended saying ‘sorry, and eyaah’. silly men!
LOL. I know, right!! The saliva wey I for swallow jeje, na him I come use tell am sorry *SMH* No wahala. That one is by-the-way story now.