I’ve Been Diagnosed As A Drug Addict

Name of my Doctor: Mom
My drug of choice: Nair Hair Removal lotion

Well, remember how I said I had 2 groom? Yes oh, so I decided to groom today. I put some nair on my legs before I took a shower. I tied a wrapper just below my ass and I was in the living room, when my mom saw my legs and said “lemme tell you, this thing you’re rubbing on your legs to have smooth legs is just like ingesting a drug. You’ve become a drug addict like all those akata people.”

Hia! I couldn’t stop laffin o. I’m like, I know she did not just call me a drug addict because of Nair. I mean, what is wrong with Nair 4 cryin out loud. And I don’t even use it that often! She’s lucky I am not hairy cause if I were, I would use it like every two days.

Abi how does she expect me to look? She wants me 2 grow my hair and look like a grizzly bear abi? It will not work o!

By the way, after I took a shower, decided 2 walk 2 Uju’s house (about 5 mins away). I was still on my street and my attention was on my cell phone cause I was tryna call Busola when some strange man just parked his car in front of me and started asking me if I called him. I mean, he rolled his windows down 2 ask me if I called him! How could I have called him? I didn’t know him. I obviously didn’t know his name. I didn’t flag him down – in fact, I didn’t even know a car was coming. I gave him a I-know-you-did-not-just-ask-me-that-question look, and then he apologized and said “Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie. It’s just that you look so attractive, so I thought you called me.” What da hell?! Why do I meet these people?

I was not wearing anything special o! In fact, I think I was looking more like a maid sef. I was wearing a long black and white skirt and a black top. Nothing spectacular. That man just felt like making a fool of himself, that’s all. That’s how the other day one drunk, white man stopped to ask me if I wanted 2 party. When I said no, the fool now said “Oh you’ve got a nice ass there.” This man is probably older than my father o! Ewwww. I shuld just stop walkin on the street 4 real.

I’m a conservative dresser too, so they cannot say that all my skin was atttracting them cause there was no skin 2 see. It must be my beautiful personality. Yeap, that has 2 be it. LOL. Hahahaha. Gosh, I crack myself up 4 real.