I’m taking a break from my birthday countdown to acknowledge someone very, very close to my heart.
It’s been four years already, but it doesn’t feel like it @ all. The only evidence I have that it’s been that long is that I have grown older, and so has his son.
Four years ago (January 11th 2003), he passed away. We didn’t see it coming; it just happened. It was three days before my birthday and I was home with Funmi and her sister, Seun. Funmi came by to give me my birthday gift (a brown Kenneth Cole purse); she gave it to me three days early…I don’t remember why.
She left and the evening was pretty much the same until my Grandma called me and couldn’t control her emotions on the phone. She was crying non stop. She said he passed out. How could he have just passed out? I thought my Grandma was just being overly dramatic and making things bigger than they were, but I panicked. I told her to calm down, but I was panicking inside. My mom was @ work; I called her and told her he had passed out, so she got off work immediately and came to pick me up at home.
We got there and my Grandma was still wailing. She was sitting on the sofa and crying. My aunt’s friend was there with her one year old son, and tryna calm Mama down. I was already crying even though I didn’t want to believe anything was actually wrong. Mama said he had been rushed to the hospital by the Emergency crew. Was it that serious?
Mom rushed off to the hospital. I kept crying and trying to console my Grandma. I told her not to worry; he was probably too stressed out. He probably didn’t eat enough. He probably overworked himself. It was probably just fatigue. Whatever it was, it was going to be okay.
I carried Toby and tried to cheer him up. He was born on my birthday – Jan 14th. We were both supposed to be celebrating our birthday in three days time, and now, his father had passed out. Toby didn’t even know what was going on. He didn’t know Daddy had been rushed to the hospital. I called my mom countless times and kept asking, “How is Uncle?”. Every time I asked, she said, “I’ll call you back”. We waited in suspense. The suspense was more agonizing than the thought of him passing out.
Finally, they came back. My aunt came in and had no emotion on her face. She looked like she wasn’t even on earth with us. I watched as everyone walked into the house and I kept asking about Uncle but no1 was talking. My aunt sat on the sofa with her hands on her head. My Grandma was still wailing…but now even more. Finally, mom fell on the steps and said, “George has killed us.”
He was dead. It was just that fast. He died of a heart attack. It happened while he was sleeping. But how could he have a heart attack? He was only 42. We didn’t even know he had a heart problem. He hadn’t seen his only child turn one. His wife (my aunt – mom’s baby sister) was still in her thirties) There were so many things that were wrong. It just wasn’t his time. Toby (his son) still didn’t know what was going on. It had to be a mistake. But it wasn’t.
There is sooooooo much more to write. His death was only the tip of the iceberg but I can’t write all that right now. I’m getting too emotional. The wetness on my laptop would stand to testify this truth. Life is so unfair.
Toby turns five on Sunday. He asks about his father all the time. We tell him he’s in Heaven, but he doesn’t know what that means yet. He wants to know when he will come back. Uncle George, though not related to me by blood treated me like his own child. How come the good ones are always the first to go?
Help me pray that his soul rests in peace. Thanks.
This is so sad. I can tell you miss him a lot and he meant a lot to you and your family.
Is Toby the young man you have on Youtube?
Thanks Azuka. Yeah, he’s the one.
I imagine it’ll be touchy when the time comes to break the news to him when he asks [as he’s sure to].
Ndo, nwannem. (I hope I got it right?)
Sorry vera, don’t know wat else to say
Pls pick up,
Dont knolw what to say Vera, keep your chin up!!!
Azuka: Yes I know it’ll be really hard to tell him. Sometimes I wish he’d be a child forever. That way he won’t have to find out.
Guy Horny: Thanks. I understand why you don’t know what to say.
Busola: This girl, you worry about me too much.
Boorish Male: Thanks! I’m doing exactly that.
Sorry for your loss,pray God helps Young Toby to understand as he grows up aswell.
I am so sorry to hear about ur uncle, He is resting with the lord. Its so sad, he didnt get to see his son grow up. God know’s best.
I’ve given up asking such questions like ‘why?’ Its something we have to accept there’s never going to be an answer to.
may his soul rest in peace.
Take it easy girl.
May his soul Rest in Peace.
Cheer up dear.
Naija Vixen: Thanks a lot, Girl. God is the only one who can give Toby the understanding he needs.
Biodun: Yes, I know, it’s sad indeed, but what can one do? It sucks that we cannot decide when certain things happen. Oh well…
Beautifully Human: I know o! So many ‘why’ questions are running around the world without questions.
Nilla: Thanks babe!
So sorry Vera. Its very painful and as much as time goes on it still lingers. I know, my mom’s day is tomorrow….May his soul rest.
May God comfort Toby and the rest of you guys as you remember everything you shared when he was here with you…
Only God can answer “why”, but He still gives “peace” that passes all human understanding when things like this happen…
NalaGrey: I’m sorry about your mom. Who ever said time heals all wounds. I don’t think it does. It only makes it obvious just how long it’s been.
Jaycee: Thanks girl. Death is so aaarrrrgggghhh! It’s so frustrating because it is not reversible.
Sorry for your loss Vera. May he rest in peace.
girl…you’re about to start a crying fest up in here! I think people can die before their time….
God be with you and your family…
My sympathies! All you guys should do is think about all the gr8 things has brought to the family.That will keep you all going.It’s gonna be hard for lil Toby but still he had to know.Wish you all the best in finding the right way to tell him/her.
God bless
May Uncle Georges’ soul and those of the faithful departed thru d mercy of God rest in peace.. Amen
I never really got to know him… i juss met Vera then, but i heard a lot of great things about him… Vera, Toby is here and u said it urself( he looks more n more like his Dad everyday). Make sure u take great care of him… dats all u owe his dad.
uhmmm…… I gave u ur gift 3days early dat yr ‘cos u were gonna spend d weekend at Uncle georges’ n i wasn’t gonna see u until after ur birthday. Wondering y i dont give early gifts anymore???? Go figure darling.
Honestly Vera, I’m so sorry about the loss o!
I’m sure it seems just like yesterday to you guys. May his sould rest in peace and for his son, God will be with him and give him the strength when the time is right to handle the loss of his dad.
Pele o!!!
Tara…
This just happened to my good friend from Uni. In her 30s, has 2 kids and lost her hubby suddenly.
Good question…why do the good ones go so young?I ask myself everyday. My younger brother died 3 years ago aged 22yrs. sigh…who really has the answers
God bless you Vera and your family as you continue to come to terms with your loss… I can imagine he’d never be forgotten but that time will help dull the pain that comes with your memories. i also pray that his son grows up to be all that he can be. Uncle George is looking down on all of you smiling… God bless you all
TaureanMinx: Thanks girl. That really means a lot to me.
Diamond: LOL. Don’t cry my dear. What does it mean when people die before their time? I don’t get it. I mean, does God not have to ‘approve’ all deaths? I don’t understand this whole thing @ all.
Milano: Thanks a lot for the kind words. Toby will be fine by God’s Grace.
Funmi: Thanks love. LOL. I know you have been spooked since that day so you’ve vowed to not give me my gift early anymore, lol. @ least, you did not decided to just stop giving me gifts altogether. Now, that woulda been a real tragedy
Tara: Thanks a lot. Indeed, it does feel like it just happened yesterday. God help us sha.
Anonymous: I’m sorry about your brother. I cannot imagine what that felt like; I’m so sorry.
Overwhelmed: Thanks babe. One never really gets used to not having someone around. It’s just such a weird feeling. But thank God for His mercy and kindness towards us sha.
Just saying Hi!
Hope you’re much cheered up today.
Hey! sorry about your uncle. May God give you the strength to live life after him. o di ro easy! It’s obvious you cared about him deeply.
hey my sister, may his soul rest in God’s perfect peace. I pray God continues to comfort aunt chinelo’s soul. Death is a journey we are destined to take sumday , but my prayer is that God help us make our stay here worthwhile.
hey sweetie… this is such a touching post.
i pray that God continues to heal and console your family…
Touching post,Sorry about your uncle.
He is resting in peace.
God’s grace is with you and your family,to heal and comfort you.
May his Soul rest in Peace.
The good souls always die young – I wonder why?
Nilla: Thanks babe for checking up on me. I’m definitely feeling better. Thanks.
ChainReader: Thanks girl. It hasn’t been easy, but we’re still living. It’s all by His Grace…
Seun Al: Thanks for the kind words, dear. No matter how many times we hear that death will happen one day, you never quite get ready enough to lose someone – no matter the time. It’s worse when it’s a young person that died.
Belle: Thanks a lot. He has been helping us through it. Thanks for your kind words.
Omohemi Benson: Thanks for stopping by. We’ve been getting through it. I haven’t seen your name before, so I’m assuming you’re new here (my blog). I will return the favor shortly.
Calabar Gal: I dunno why the good ones leave early either. It’s so….. I just don’t understand it @ all.