*singing* them other bloggers don’t know how to blog…*
Alright, I just had to get that song off my chest. You know, ever since I was born, I have always known that I’ve got at least one song in my heart, and finally, it is out!!!
I wasn’t gonna mention this, but since Bijouxoxo has made it obvious that she doesn’t understand why I talk about it, I will talk about it then. Miss Flo (AKA my period) just came into town yesterday. There I was listening to my baby cousin as he sang with the rest of his pre-K friends at their carrol, and then I started feeling a lil weird. That was when it occured to me that I may be experiencing a CODE RED…literally! So off to the bathroom I went to resusitate my dignity, and lo and behold, Ms. was only about a centimeter away from causing havoc. Is that graphic enough, or do you need more details? Hehehehe. Bijouxoxo, how you like me now???
YES, IT IS HUMAN
In fact, to be more precise, it is Uju. Remember I said I had to take her tracks off the other day? Well, after that, we were watching a Naija movie, and she was feeling cold…possibly because I didn’t turn the heat on; I don’t like feeling so warm…I’d rather be cold, but anyways… She was feeling cold, but she was too lazy to go get the blanket from the closet, and I wouldn’t let her pull the blanket off my bed cause I hate it! I’d have to make the bed over to make the blanket look neat and all.
Anyways, she decided to cover herself self with newspapers (her head is on the left; if you look real well, you’ll see part of her head). It’s on days like this one that I begin to question my sanity for being involved with people that are evidently insane. I think their craziness is rubbing off on me because I was very normal before I met them. By the way, she does not know I took this picture of her, but I’m pretty sure she would find out soon.
THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS GIFT??
I’ll tell ya! Yesterday, I was @ my aunt’s house and her friend was called my aunt to ask her for a gift idea for her five year old son’s teacher. My aunt couldn’t think of anything good, so her friend got off the phone. Few minutes later, she called back and said she had figured it out. She would give her son’s teacher a deodorant. A deodorant?! One single stick?! Who on earth does that? I could not stop laughing. I told her to prepare to get beaten up after having a series of flat tires. LOL. If she was thinking about giving him a gift set containing a deodorant and after-shave and all that good smelling stuff I like smelling on Bloke (wink* wink*), it would be better, but a single stick??? Errrrr…I think not!
ON THE NEWS
A five year old boy in kindergaten has been suspended from school. Why??? You’d never guess, trust me. Alright, fine, try to guess. Nope….! Nope…! Not that either. Okay, I’ll tell ya. He was suspended for sexual harrassment. Apparently, he pinched his class mate on her butt. Errr, am I the only one who thinks Americans have gone berseck with all these their sexual rubbish? I mean, does every lil thing have to be sexual? How on earth does a five year old sexually harrass someone?
Anyways, they showed the statistics of sexually related suspensions among kindergaten students (crazy right?), and apparently, last year, there were 4 suspensions for sexual assault. This troubles me. What exactly do they mean by sexual assault – rape??? My God, I fear for the future of my children. What the heck is this world turning to? I dunno if this statistics if onlt for Maryland or the whole of U.S., but either way it’s troubling. When did kindergaten kids stop getting in trouble for not sharing and start getting in trouble for sexually related crimes? Odikwa risky o!!!
Well, lemme stop here for today. I have more to write actually, but I don’t wanna write too much. Bloke is calling me already. Nite y’ll!!!
I gotta go put some make-up on my face and go 2 bed. Now, b4 you go running off and spreading the false truth that I am crazy, lemme explain. I don’t just put make-up on before going to bed, but i got a buncha new MaryKay make-up from my aunt yesterday, so I wanna do some practice make-up b4 going 2 bed. I’m not gonna wash it off because I don’t like washing make-up off as soon as I put it on. Hmmmm…on second thoughts, perhaps, I should just practice tomorrow after taking a shower. Did you know make-up is the only form of art I know? Now you do.
Once again….good nite. Sweet dreams….of me…
I wouldn’t be surprised if your friends claim it’s the other way round, ie your craziness rubbed off on them.
This is what I’m saying. A hundred years ago in Nigeria, little kids went around naked until the first strand of hair [you know where] came out. Women walked about with the twins in full view and there were hardly any sexual harassment cases. Now, even a picture of a bra is enough to drive people crazy.
Blame it on the westerners. What does a 5-yr-old know about sex?
Miss Flo no try o. She should have given you notice of visit now.
Talking about xmas gifts, i want gifts o. WIll be posting my addy on my blog soon.
Anyways about the 5 year old being suspended. I rest my case.
I read your column in one mag with Nigerwives but I can’t remember what it was about (sorry). I was like “I have seen this name somewhere”
Azuka: I totally agree with you oh (for once). Everything is so flippin sexual. Chiildren literally lose their innocense so early. I was still playing with dolls @ the age of 14, but do two yr olds here even play with dolls??? The whole situation is just crazy 4 real. As expected, the boy’s parents are furious. Who wouldn’t be?
TemmyTayo: Actually, it’s not Miss Flo’s fault @ all oh. I was negligent of the whole situation; I forgot to check my calendar. Guess I was just enjoying my off days too much 2 care when she was coming next. Oh well…! Christmas gifts? I have been wishing for like maybe $5000 cash, but I am yet to receive it. I’m starting to think God does not intend on granting me that Christmas wish.
Nosa: Hey Nosa! Thanks for stopping by. You read my article in a column with Naija wives? Hmmm. I dunno if that is the mag I write for, or maybe one of the mags that have published my stuff. I have given up on trying 2 track down my stuff. Any idea about the name of the mag?
I rest my case … at least I dan know say I dan marry this one sha ..
Merry Xmas babes
Chei Vera!! Uju has suffered in ur hands!! u mean u came around to see u and u actually let her cover herself in NEWSPAPERS while ur blanket was decorating ur bed? *SIGH* That ‘ODE’ tag sexy b gives u may be very well deserved
Loll…I can’t believe she covered herself with newspapers…..lol….very crazy!!! So did she get warm?
hmmm…they can’t label it “sexual harrassment because I don’t think 5 yr olds know anything abt that! But then again, it
s the 21st century…even a child that just turned ONE…u’ll be shocked!!!
I think it was Joy or summat. The mag was on Bellanaija’s blog, that’s why I remembered
Newspapers??? Vera! Vera!! Vera!!!
MERRY XMAS VERALICIOUS!!!
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Here’s to wish you a merry xmas and a prosperous new year.
Nice blog.
so u wicked uu so tey she carry news paper cover body, u come dey broadcast am on top here again. and to think u are expecting isi-ewu from me. i’m about to call uu and tell her, thats if she hasnt seen it already.
U are are wicked o. How would u let poor Uju cover herself with newspapers while ur blanket was doing nothing on ur bed? I still don’t get it why u keep on announcing to everyone whenever Ms. Flow visits? Oginni? So Verastic is popular eh? Even in Naija they know ur name, hmmm. I’d love to see u with make-up on, i’m sure it’s gonna be some scary stuvinnzz (lol). I see u got ur blog mojo back. Good so we’re expecting more blog entries from u. Are u going to be in NY anytime soon?
i was wondering why no one had called Vera out…thanks jare Cherub for setting straight…so all in the name of neatness you want your friend to freeze abi? o ya hold out your hand…let me get the ruler…
merry christmas to you and yours
NaijaBloke: Yes oh baby, you don marry this one kpata kpata. I’m all urs. Don’t mind what the haters might be thinking or saying.
Calabar Gal: Ah, she coulda gotten a blanket from the closet now. She was just being lazy and expecting me to get it. I told her she obviously wasn’t feeling cold yet now… abi???
Jaycee: I guess she got warm sha…cause she fell asleep and didn’t even know when I took the picture of her. As for the sexual assault, the five yr old is indeed too young, but in this day and age…one never really knows.
Nosa: Yeah, it has to be JOY. I write for JOY. Well, thanks for stopping by sha, and merry christmas!!!
London Buki: I didn’t make her cover herself in newspapers now. She did it herself. Merry Christmas to you!!
Anthony: Thanks Anthony!!! Merry Christmas to you too.
Chief: I did not wicked her oh. If she wasn’t too lazy to go get the blanket from the closet, she wouldn’t have had to use the newspapers. See??
Bijouxoxo: You can call urself Cherub all u want o…but me, I’m always gonna call u Bijouxoxo. Life is too complicated to start learning new names. I wasn’t gonna talk about Ms. Flo, but I did it because of you.
Diamond: LOL. So you too you don’t like it ehn? In case y’ll don’t know, you not liking it only fuels my desire to write about it more often. Uju had a choice to make, and she chose to froze, so wetin be my own sef…??? LOL
‘lo and behold, Ms. was only about a centimeter away from causing havoc’- EEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!! Girl, way too much info!! I can see you are begining to get too comfortable with us here in blogsville; hmmm… we’re going to hav eto put a stop to that quick, quick!
lol@ the deodorant gift!! do you think she was trying to tell her son’s teacher something?
all i can say is ‘Uju, pele o! do you think you did something wrong in your past life to deserve a friend like Vera ?’
vera, vera, vera! how many times did i call you? after all the lectures i gave you on hospitality, you go and disgrace me like this? chei! what is the world coming to?
but on another note, am lmplao@ uju. she looks like a homeless person! vera, you mean, oh!
emmmm, i pinched a few butts when i was in kindergarten. so all i can say is, ” thank goodness they weren’t that strict in my day!” i might have still been in the slammer!
Beautifully Human: Come this gal, whose side are you on sef? So you think some1 would have 2 do something bad 2 deserve a friend like me ehn? BH, I will wound u o! As 4 Ms. Flo, I just wanted y’ll to get the picture…literally LOL
ChainReader: LOL. I was nice 2 her now! She was just too lazy to get the blanket from the closet. She wanted to pull the one on my bed off, and I wasn’t having that! LOL. Now that u mentioned it sef, she does look like a homeless person. Oh well… hehehe