First of all, lemme say Happy New Year!!! This is my first post for 2007, and all I can say is, “WOW!”. We are actually in 2007. But I doubt that every1 is already in 2007 because on the 31st of December 2006, my grandma was making a toast for 2007, and she thanked God for a great 1996 and hoped for an even better 1997. LOL. That is soooooo ten years ago! (Yes, I know I sound White, but who cares?)
This is an expensive period for any1 who is romantically interested in or involved with me. Ask them for details.
December: Xmas gift for Vera
January: Birthday gift for Vera
February: Valentine gift for Vera
March: Jara gift for Vera
Hehehehehehehe
So my birthday is eleven days away. On the 14th of January 2007, I will be officially old. Woah!!! Funny enough, I don’t know what I want for my birthday….which is sooo unlike me. Am I growing out of gifts? Gosh, I hope not! That’s the last thing I wanna grow out of.
My friends have asked me what I want 4 my birthday, but I don’t know. Every year I ask for shoes and purses and perfumes, etc, but this year, I dunno know what I want. I mean, I could always ask for shoes and purses, but I just feel like they’ll be too cheap, you know. I can’t ask for a laptop and/or a camera because I already have those, so what do I ask for then?? And I don’t want jewelry either because the only person who will buy me expensive jewelry is Boyfriend and I’m saving that request for Valentine’s Day.
Of course, for my birthday, I could always ask for those other gifts I’ve always wanted 2 ask for. I’m talking about simple INEXPENSIVE things like…
- That cheap house on Belair Road that costs less than $500, 000.00 (five hundred thousand dollars)
- A 2008 Range Rover (WARNING: I SAID 2008 NOT 2007! Since we’re already in 2007, I need something newer….you know?)
- I guess I could manage a $10, 000 (ten thousand dollars) VISA debit card to update my wardrobe.
- Two healthy German Shepherd dogs (male & female) to go with the new house. And of course, a lifetime supply of dog food and health insurance 4 the dogs.
- Perhaps, a one month paid vaccation to Russia wouldn’t hurt either.
- A private yacht? Errr, maybe. I guess I could manage it…even though I don’t really care for it.
- Someone to sponsor my $250, 000.00 (two hundred & fifty thousand dollars) wedding; that includes the rings, and traditional marriage, so don’t get alarmed. Cheap right? I know.
But who will give me these things? Hmmmm, I need to write Oprah again. Perhaps, she didn’t get my other 317 letters. Well, they probably got lost in the mail anyway….you know how it is!
Since I only have common people in my life (hehehehe), I guess I could settle for the Euphoria (Calvin Klein) gift set I’ve been eyeing @ Macy’s. It retails for only $299. When I say ‘settle’, I don’t mean they (my friends) shuld all put their money together 2 buy it for me o! I mean ONE person should buy it for me. The rest can buy me other stuff.
Busola said she already knows what she’ll give me, but she won’t tell me. Either way, I know that girl won’t be buying me any of the things mentioned above – that cheap girl. I seriously need to stop associating with poor, common folks. Hehehehe.
So…does any1 have any bright ideas about what I should ask for? Help please!
GIRL are you trying to kill your friends!!!!!!!!
First of all, LOL @ your grandma and list of inexpensive gifts!!
🙂
Maybe Oprah isn’t responding cos she knows you don’t need these things…lol
I don’t have any idea yet, cos your taste is really up there….will think of something though 😉
emmm, i think you mentioned all the gifts you want but most likely won’t get, so i can’t be of any help here.
i know what busola is getting you. if you wanna know, please send your social security number and bank details to chain419reader@wayo.com. satisfaction guaranteed. 10 year warranty!
You this girl! So because you have just managed and updated ur blog this new year you are now embarking on a harrasment campaign against my person and my blog. Take ya time oh. My blog will be updated after I’ve finished watching Celebrity Big Brother and Desperate Housewives!!! LOL!!!
These ya birthday gifts are not expensive at all. Not at all! Very Inexpensive!! Are you sure thats all you want? Check ur inner mind oh. Remember those diamonds that you lie on ur bed day dreaming about?
U havent mentioned them yet.
Jan 14 hmmmn? Capriconians plenty oh!! I’m landing on ur doorstep for my rice!!
Nilla: I’m tryna kill my friends? You say it like it’s a bad things. LOL!
My dear, just gimme ideas abeg. I cannot let this birthday go by without receiving gifts o!
ChainReader: very funny! abeg, send me a check jare! Send @ least 100 bucks (see how I’m not tryna be expensive).
Hey, and wat do u mean by sayin I’m listing things I probably wouldn’t get? Mind urself o! Anyways, you’ll be surprised. Just wait & see!
Calabar Gal: lol @ launching a campaign against ur person & blog. u’re not serious @ all. Well, u can land @ my door step oh…but just make sure you bring a gift! You can pick any1 of the ones I’ve listed above. (if u ask me, I’ll ask for the house first)
Miss Big-Eye, you left out New Year’s gift.
Don’t worry I’ll get you a bottle of groundnuts for new year, a lifetime supply of akamu (ogi) for valentine, and errm, a teddy bear for jara.
Greedy old woman!
lol… I thought I was lavish with my gift requests… but don’t worry one of these days, we’ll all be able to give those kinds of gifts with out thinking about it twice…
So exactly how old is old???
~DD
I know my wifey been get high taste o,but nne this ya taste dan dey overtake me o .. Haba .. be like say I go do as my fellow African Americans dey do,sign up for welfare,disability or unemployment cos u no fit kill me o.
Stop harrassing me to update just cos u update ya blog and u know say my birthday na Jan 19th as well so our presents dan cancel each other be that,abi…LOL
Go Capricorns!!!!
tief tief!!!!
jara gift ko
i will write you a poem….that’s PRICELESS baby….
Azuka: How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t do peanuts ehn? Anyways, how dare you call me old?! This boy, you go wound o!
Discombulated Diva: One of these days ke? “One of these days” better be on the 14th o! And shebi u wan use style ask for my age ehn? Oya ask my husband, Bloke.
Bloke: Baby, you’re so funny! Our gifts have cancelled each other ke? LOL. You don kolo finish. I no gree o!!! They have not cancelled. You better find a way to buy me a gift…no kidding! i don’t care if you enlist in a senior citizen’s home and even stay on disability. Just make sure u get me my gift!
Diamond, did I write anything to give you the impression that I want a priceless gift? You betta BUY a gift, and leave the price tag and receipt too! I wanna make sure it’s expensive and then I will decide if I wanna keep it or not. No kidding!
Bloke: I forgot to say….yes oh, GO CAPRICORNS!!!
LOLLLLLLLL…I tried writing to Oprah too (same with my friend)…I just wanted to see what will happen, I guess my own got drained down Oprah’s private water-pipe! Happy birthday in advance, I pray u get stuff u like…
fa! fa! fa! foul! i dont give gifts to russians(call it discrimination all u want) in december, january and february. but looking at ur list again if u want to be in russia by the 14th i can organize it only thing is ur ass is going to over freeze this time of year.
11 days eh? Good…so my gift will definitely get there in time then 😉
lmao… your grandma is a joker forreal.. but i feel her sha… sometimes i too feel like i’m still living in 1996… lol… this your birthday … i’m still trying to think of what I can do for you… let’s negotiate(give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want… )How bout that?!?!?!
Just be content with being alive and having friends and family so ask for NOTHING LOL. Ask for anything you want girl ,its the only time of the year you can!
You this girl sha, I feel u though, I didnt know wot I wanted 4 my bday either, so how old r u gonna be n u berra not lie too! happy bday in advance, Go capricorns!!
What to ask??? I always like to be surprised for my birthday…. what makes you really happy hun? maybe you start from there…
i say we help her celebrate it the way we used to back in boarding school in naija. MAXIMUM SHI SHI! bath her with beans water, those of u that have leather belts u might need the best one u can find, make her do as much work as we can find for her(she is a neat freak) all we have to do is storm her huse and disarrange it enough to keep her busy all thru her birthday.
vera i got ur birthday covered like i have my feet covered with sucks.
This is great Vera!!! You’re absolutely hilarious!!!. Great blog!!! Oh and as soon as you find someone to buy you a 2008 Range Rover tell them you know someone that’ll settle for 2007;)
Jaycee: lol @ writing to Oprah. Well, I’m pretty sure she’s just busy. She’ll get to you soon, LOL
Chief: Oya hurry up and organize my trip 2 Russia abeg. Hurry up jo!
Belle: Yea, girl, it will definitely get here in time. So err, what exactly are you sending? I don’t want anything cheap o!
Overwhelmed: It depends on what you want. So tell me, what do you want? And it better not be my husband oh!…although I’ll readily exchange him for a 2008 range rover (don’t tell him that, please).
ConfusedNaijaGirl: When I read the first part of your message about being content with what I have, I thought, ‘certainly, she must be kiddin! What’s the fun in that?’. Anyways, I hope I get something I really want. Pray 4 me.
Biodun: My dear Capricornian sista, I’m one year closer to 30….gosh! Abi did you want a specific number? What did you ask 4 on ur birthday…and did you get it?
Elle: Surprises are good sha but….sometimes they’re not. It will be impossible for me to mask my disappointment if I get a rubbish gift, so I always like telling people what to get me. Surprise gifts are good for just-because gifts, that’s all.
Chief: You’re really crazy. You want to give me work to do on my own birthday? You’ve really lost your mind oh! What rubbish!!
NalaGrey: LOL. Why do I feel like you don’t believe I’ll get a 2008 Range Rover? Girl, you better believe!
first of all I have to say is ‘akpiri!!!’ lol.see your mouth like ‘jara’ gift. you are so not serious!!
and please whats in that ‘euphoria’ gift set that it costs $299? (and that is the one that vera will be eyeing!! )lol
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE GIRL!
Do I have to threaten you with my cane again?
Update!
LMAO!!!@ Azuka telling you to update..
LOL @ your lists…I’ll cyber wire you something from here, or perhaps cook some oriental cuisine whenever we meet..hehehehe..
Have a nice weekend.. and Happy B-day in advance.. (at least I greet you first!!!, Thats enough shey? :p)
Hey You….
Joel
You no like small thing at all.
lee wat am i reading about you cooking oriental cuzin. na which time vera special reach that level. in short i no vex, u can fix vera some squid balls with hot sauce she’ll love that one. make frog feet and algae soup as desert.
babe ur comment just crack me up lol@ ur grandmother toasting 2006 thats just priceless as per ur gift list dont worry u’ll get all those things very well lol…happy bday in advance…mwah
No harm wishing for all those stuff. Its free and I’m sure you/I could do worse. I say the same thing every year, I need to get me richer friends…all these people that I call friends have seen me finish coz I have to beg for a gift on my own birthday again.
Have a great weekend.
Vera that your wishlist is a bit heavy o. Do you have friends in high places? With that $250,000 wedding you are planning, the guy had better be well loaded. So how are you celebrating? And how old are you going to be??
Beautifully Human: LOL. The thing is that I LOVE the euphoria perfume. I ALWAYZ get positive feedback from men…and women, of course. But my sista, na my fault say I dey eye that one? Abeg, buy me the gift & stop whinning jo
Azuka: You cant do anything o! What can you do that you haven’t done? Fall more in love with me? Yeah right, like that’s possible!
Lee: Thanks for your thoughtful suggestions, but I cannot accept anything wired 2 me or any food cooked for me as a gift. I need something of substance; something I can touch and feel. Most importantly, I need something with some mad monetary value.
Joel: Hey to you too! Where have you been?
Elle Woods: No oh, my sister, I no like small thing @ all. Why shuld I? As I fine reach? Hehehe
Chief: Shut up & stop hatin’ jare! that’s why Lee won’t cook 4 u…cause u keep hatin.
Rose-tinted Glasses: Thanks babe. Is that a kiss you just gave me? Oooh, I’m blushing!
Mari: Thank you oh, my dear. At least there is someone out here that shares my sentiments about befriending poor, common folks. I seriously need 2 either recycle my friends or have a friend(s) makeover
FavoredGirl: I know 250K is a bit much, which is why I am waiting for that loaded prince 2 propose 2 me. Abi, why do u think I am not yet married? LOL. Friends in high places? I wish! That’s why I’m about 2 trade my friends in for an upgrade.