If you have no idea who Muyiwa is, you should read this short post about him first before reading this one. So, when I wrote about Muyiwa the first time, most of the people that commented were more interested in what happened after the Igbo boy tried to rub my back and I allegedly ran away. Err, it was not alleged o! I did run away. But let me give you the conclusion of the story. Remember I told you that Bianca and I sneaked out of school? Classes were over at 2pm, but we always had to stay Read More
How Many Panties Do You Own?
The title of this post probably doesn't make your eyes widen with excitement, and that's normal, especially if you are a woman. There are really four interesting things about this latest discovery in the women's panties world. 1. This average of 34 panties is three times what it was in 1999. 2. 58% of women say that big, white knickers are their favorite. My mom and grand mom are the only women I can think of who like white knickers. 3. Many women have admitted that reading books Read More
Reason Number 9058342 Why I Love America: I Can Join The Force!
I've had a broken tail light for a minute, and I've known about it for just as long. But I deliberately refused to fix it. Why should I fix it? I didn't kill it. In my quest to not get pulled over by cops, I adopted the first half of Romney's campaign strategy: deny. deny. deny. [The other half is avoid. avoid. avoid]. But on this fateful day, I just knew I could no longer hide. It was a Saturday morning, and a State Trooper was driving behind me. The only way I could stop him from noticing Read More
His Name Was Muyiwa
While I was driving to wherever I was driving to two days ago, I remembered my friend, Bianca - not her real name, but close enough - and how we rapidly became close. Both of her parents were half Nigerian and half Lebanese, so I don't know what that made her - quarter cast? - but she looked like a very light-skinned black girl. Her hair was the same texture as mine, except longer. She was beautiful. She had big eyeballs, pink lips, and big breasts. They weren't that big really, but next Read More
Are We Still Talking About Toilet Roll?
Am I seeing double? Or are all the words on this ad still referring to a mere toilet roll? (Not toilet tissue. Or bath tissue.) "Now closer to u like never before ..." Does it still wipe assholes? If so, it's still just as close. Read More
