Reason Number 9058342 Why I Love America: I Can Join The Force!

I’ve had a broken tail light for a minute, and I’ve known about it for just as long. But I deliberately refused to fix it. Why should I fix it? I didn’t kill it. In my quest to not get pulled over by cops, I adopted the first half of Romney’s campaign strategy: deny. deny. deny. [The other half is avoid. avoid. avoid].

But on this fateful day, I just knew I could no longer hide. It was a Saturday morning, and a State Trooper was driving behind me. The only way I could stop him from noticing my tail light was dead was to step only on the accelerator and not step on the brakes. But that would have left me at risk of getting a speeding ticket — not to mention, running into the car in front of me and then getting a second ticket, plus an increased insurance premium. Who needs that?!

So yes, he pulled me over and gave me a repair order. I was to fix my light within 10 days, get it signed by either a cop or a Maryland Inspection site, and then, within 30 days, mail the other half of the form to the enforcement division of the police department. This was all routine. But …

After all was said and done, he proceeded to hand me a pamphlet, telling me that the police career was rewarding, and that I should read it for more information on how to join them. Is that so, Mr. State Trooper? *one brow up*

That said, you can relax now. I have no intention of joining the force. The policemen and women here, they actually do police work. And I would be that police woman who turns on her siren and speeds 100 miles above the speed limit because I have to go attend to an emergency : the emergency of getting to my pizza before it gets cold.

If there is such a thing in the police force, I know without a doubt that I would be dishonorably discharged for my lack of service in the force.

P.S. My hat is off to the wonderful men and women of the police force. Every single day, they risk their lives on these roads to keep the rest of us safe. It’s an honorable thing. But for now, I should probably stick to blogging + radio-ing.