I was gonna title this post, “He betrayed me,” because that was how I felt on Monday, but I guess I’m over it now – kinda sorta. I promised I had good news for you, so here goes: Busola has had her baby. She gave birth on Monday, December 22nd 2008 at 1:09 PM. The baby weighed 5.12 lbs. Alright, I’ll rewind.
I know, I know, I know. I never told anyone that she was pregnant, right? Yes, that’s because she made me promise I will not run my mouth on my blog, so you see, I had to keep it a secret. Remember when I said I met some beautiful bloggers?? Well, I met them at the surprise baby shower we had for Busola [which I invited them to]. I could not blog about the shower either because that would have meant disclosing her very pregnant state. But now that she has offloaded, I am free to run my mouth. No, I cannot disclose the name of the baby yet. His naming ceremony will be held tomorrow.
So why did I feel betrayed? Well, let’s see. The baby was due to be born on January 19th 2009. I and the baby talked about his supposed due date several times, and we had an agreement – or at least I thought we did. I told him to get born on January 14th – my birthday. He nodded – kicked rather, and I interpreted that to be a handshake. I thought we had agreed! When you shake hands (or kick a foot) on a deal, you do not go back on your words, darn it!!
When Busola called me at almost 2:30 in the morning on Monday to tell me her water had broken, I was devastated. All my dreams of sharing the same birthday with my new boyfriend were shattered. Shattered, I tell you! Busola was not making it easier either. I pleaded with her to shut her legs and hold the delivery off till the 14th of January (I mean, it’s not that far), but she refused. The girl refused! After all I have done for her, she could not do this one little thing for me. Now I know who my real friends are – NOT!
Anywayz…. I got over my anger. Why? I witnessed the birth of my new boyfriend. Yes, yours truly witnessed him being born. It was beautiful. Busola was crying. Her husband was crying. Her mother-in-law was crying. But I didn’t shed a tear. Alright, who am I kidding? I probably started crying before everyone else. I could not help it. He was so little. And so perfect. I have never seen anyone so beautiful. I should mention that Funmi missed the entire delivery. Why? She was…. *D.R.U.M.R.O.L.L* …. sleeping!!! Yes, sleeping. We called and called, but home girl did not pick up. I had to call her brother’s phone. To make matters worse, she couldn’t go see the baby after he was born because she was suffering from strep throat and flu. Nnyama. Yuck!
On the day of his birth, I took more than 250 pictures. And no, they’re not available yet. Too many pictures to go through and sort out. Remember I have to filter my own pictures out. LOL. I will upload them later. I am so proud of Busola; she did so well. The babe is strong. And beautiful. She’s beautiful inside and outside, and I am so, so, so blessed to have her in my life. I’m wondering if I should erase the preceding words because she will call me and say, “Vera, I know you want me.” Really, I don’t. *hiss*
Soooo after watching Busola give birth, I have learnt a few lessons for my future children. They are outlined below. Maybe you could adopt some of them too.
1. Epidural helps a whole lot! But I will not wait till I am in labor to take my epidural. If my period ventures to be late, that is it ooo! Epidural all the way. Sure, I might be completely paralyzed by the time of delivery, but hey, at least I won’t be in pain.
2. Prenatal pills make women glow. I’m not even gonna wait till I get pregnant. From tomorrow, I will start downing prenatal pills. I wanna start now to have that pregnancy glow, so that when I become pregnant, I will glow even more. Of course, it will grow my hair too. Speaking of hair, I hope it’s only the one on my head ooo!
3. When you’re pregnant, people are nice to you. As soon as I get pregnant, I will begin to crave anything and everything – including but not limited to perfumes, shoes, range rovers, Nokias, Black Berries, money, jewelry….etc. You know now…the regular stuff that pregnant women crave.
4. Since child birth is so painful, I will give birth in rapid succession. While I’m pregnant with child #1, I will have plenty of unprotected sex with hubby, so that he can get me pregnant…while I’m already pregnant. That way, as soon as I give birth to child #1, I will come back to the hospital in about 4 months time to give birth to child #2, and then in another 3 months to give birth to child #3. Before you know it, I would have popped out all my five children (including my set of confusingly identical twin boys).
5. When you’re in labor, people will do anything and everything to make you feel better. I will shut my legs and demand a ransom for the release of the baby. Sure, you may call it fetusnapping, but do I care?? Nope! The ransom will not be anything that is too difficult to get. All I would demand is that Obama come into my bedroom, hold my hand, kiss my forehead, rub my tummy and tell me that I’m doing good. That is all I will demand. Now is that too much??? Do I hear a resounding, “No!!!”
Shikena. I’m a very simple babe. It’s really not difficult to please me. Like I said, I apologize for not having pictures of the baby’s birth, but for now, please enjoy the pictures of the baby shower. And no, there are no bloggers in the pictures. They can show you their pictures themselves. Click HERE to view the pictures. So please join us in thanking God oh for this favor. We are truly blessed. My dear sister, Busola is favored in eyes of God.
This is my last post for 2008. See you in 2009 – January 1st 2009. 12:01 AM baby!!! I no go disappoint una na…
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!! YAY FOR BUSOLA!!!…awww…but babe your list odikwa serious ooo….The prenatal pills and epidural I am with you, but the 5babies in one year,lool. You crack me up man!! Hope you had a good Christmas
Just looked at the pictures…LOOOOL at the cucumber game..hehe!! aww Busola is so pretty!!
Oh and am third tooo!!!
Congrats to Busola! I love the pic of her and her hubby, where he’s got his hand on her belly — aww!
And yeah, you totally had me cracking up too!
Ms O: Five kids in one year is possible now. Why not, if not??? I will do it ooo. But not all @ once, of course. Yeah, gal…that cucumber game was even a lot funnier while it was happening. It just looked so wrong! LOL. And congrats on grabbing the gold, silver, and bronze medals. Na you biko!!
Good Naija Gal: They look so cute, don’t they? Crack up all you want; I was not cracking up when the boy came in December instead of January.
Ok first of all congrats to the new mother!!!
“When you’re pregnant, people are nice to you.” Don’t mean to be a killjoy but I’ve seen a heavily pregnant woman take a horrific licking that might have made a grown man cry.
And finally, 5 children? And here I was having a crush on you you…CRUSH OVER!!!!!
Mscheeeeeeeewww!!!!!!!!
Awwww congrats…not u silly..
congrats Busola..i practically feel like I know you…
Congrats on the new addition to OUR family..
lmao @ fetusnapping…ole!!!
happy Holidays babe…
Congratulations to Busola and her family!!!
As for u Ver, go aheadand try the fetus napping, i just hope nobody tries to negotiate with u, cuz u will be successful for all of 2 minutes!
Fetusnapping? yeah ryt…for the whole of 2seconds till the baby starts destroying ur v-jayjay! lol!
Congrats to Busola…
Aww congrats to Busola…
i havent seen the pics but how come u r allowed to show Busola’s pictures and not urs…ehn madam..lol
this ur list..i think i will print it out…i have to research this epidural stuff well well to be sure there are no side effects.
Congratulations Busola. I am so happy for you. May the little baby grow to be a great Man.
As for you Vera, ehn, Fetusnapping ko, fetusnapping ni, how are you going to hold a baby in your vay jayjay for long enough for them to get Obama on the phone. You dey crace o. And are you going to do this fetusnapping for all 5 of your children? Busola looks so cute! Gosh You gat me wanting to be preggers. And errr I saw a couple fine bobos in the pictures o, what are you waiting for ehn Vera and Funmie? Go and grab one of them o.
Vera…gaskiya you too get crase!!!…in a good way of ‘cos…you mean you told her to close her legs till 14th of jan….meeen you try!
Those “lessons” you’ve learnt are major!!!
wishing you a very wonderful new year and may the Lord preserve our lives to see many more years…
Doug: LOL!! We can work things out ooo. We can negotiate. Okay, how many do you want, honey? three to five is good for me – as long as I have my set of confusingly identical twin boys. So how many?? Nawa o. Maybe I should stop telling men that I want five children. So far, it’s been chasing all of them away. LOL. Hahahaha.
Bibi: LOL!! So I’m now a terrorist ehn? Just because I said I will not born my pikin till Obama comes abi? LOL. Hahaha. That is funny! The boy is toooo cute!!! Can’t wait to show him off. I’m so in love.
Afrobabe: You changed your profile pic!! Wetin happen?? lol @ knowing so much about Busola. All thanks to me, ey? Abeg send me some money. And thanks for the congratulatory message. Who cares if it wasn’t for me???
Mizchif: They must negotiate with me ooo! Or else, I no go born that pikin. You wan try me??
Toluwa: two seconds?? That’s all you’re giving me? Hmm. I go surprise you oooo. I will hostage that pikin for weeks if I have to. In short, for years sef!
Aloted: Of course, there are side effects. There are always side effects. If epidural is administered the wrong way sef, that could mean paralysis. Every medication has a side effect. And I’m allowed to post pictures because I said so. Wetin na??? lol
Temite: You saw fine boys in the pictures??? I need to go look again. Yeah, Busola looks gorgeous, I know. That’s the only reason I’m her friend o. I can’t be friends with people that are not fine. lol. I don’t know if I will fetusnap all my 5 children for Obama; I might not be crazy about Obama after my first baby, so we’ll see.
No Limit: Yes, I sure did tell her to shut her legs, but she didn’t listen. Her nerves! Amen to your prayers. Those lessons… hmmmm. I don learn ooo!
LMAO @ your craving black berries. See this awoof monger!
That’s a funny list tho.
Congrats to Busola!
Congrats Busola……
u are a wicked friend
close legs till Jan 14th????
haba!!!!!!!!
lol at use prenatal pills now
come on
one more post before the new year!!!!!!!
u want identical twin boys……me too
LOLLLLLL Vera….you’re sooo hilarious!!! You will shut your legs and receive a ransom first, ba? Lolllll…(don’t worry, when the pain shoots you will release the baby).
Oh, I’m going to join you in craving and asking for stuff o…seriously people are nicer to pregnant women…LOLLL…
what if..just what if u included a picture with you in it..just wondering…what will you do…?
Vara, you want to kill us with laughter. Your list self is more than enough for 10 pregnant women…Lol
Congrats o Busola, may this be the beginning of many children to come and babes when your own time come, u will forget fetus snapping…
Happy holidays dear.
Hahahaha!!! You're too much for yourself… so you'll ask for a ransom everytime as you're popping those babies out in succession?? who say make you carry go collect belle? abi them force u? LOL…
I heard about those pre-natal pills too & that they make your hair grow like crazy. I wonder if I start taking 'em now that i'm not pregnant, whether I will have to amp up my dosage when I do get preggers?! hmm…
Original Mgbeke: lol @ awoof monger. I don’t care what you call me!!! In fact, I am already craving the black berry right now sef.
Ibiluv: Wicked friend, ke? No oo. I’m as sweet as can be. I just wanted him to be born on my day, darn it!! Babe, I no know wetin to blog about before New Year ooo. I am currently working on my New Year post. I don tire for 2008. lol.
Jaycee: Yes oh, I will shut my legs!!! You people are trying me ooo. Anyway, it’s good that you’re joining me in craving things. We’ll totally get it, babe!! Maybe I should even crave a private jet sef…. lol.
Simeone: I will DELETE immediately. Ah, I always double-check all pictures before posting. Besides, I have to put descroptions for all pictures to make it easier for y’ll, so don’t worry, I no go make that kin mistake. LOL.
Laughter: I will not forget anything!! In fact, I will make sure I write everything down and put it in my delivery bag so that I don’t forget. Amen to your prayers for Busola. I’m waiting for more children from her too.
Anyaposh: You’re curious about the pills too, huh? I’m glad it’s not just me then. LOL. Babe, we should start taking them together. As for the ransom, that one na your own business ooo. I will ask for ransom every time, and I must get what I want or else…no baby!
I changed the profile pic oh….
Need to keep covered up this new year!!!!
First steps to being a good girl…
congrats to busola………. i like ur lessons and im stealing them esp no 3…….
have a great new year ahead
congrats Busola!
lol at your randsom plan. You will be in much pain to even close your legs.
Sorry that the baby decided not to wait till January
Goodluck on your plan to get pregnant over pregnancy. This Vera sef
” I will give birth in rapid succession.” i always believed ’twas very possible but, many are pretty pessimistic.
“…popped out all my five children” wait a minute, thot it should be eight. When did you change your mind? Short of which, can’t the ‘set of confusingly identical twins’ be a boy and girl?
‘Fetusnapping’ -a delightful new word with great prospect that should be added to the 2009 English Dictionary.
…short of which, you didn’t need to have filter the pictures, no one but, me would have identified you. And i wouldn’t have kept mum.
LMAO!!! Babes, you’re such a riot…lol!!! I concur on the epidural bit (although i demanded mine from the door of the hospital when i was in labour and not your crazy method…lol). Prenatal pills are also good; i recommend pregnacare.
I hear ya on people being nice to pregnant women as well, as i also took advantage of this…lol. I remember once when my hubby, who is a very busy consultant gynaecologist, and would usually not have obliged me such if the circumstances were different, had to drive me to the airport to collect moimoi and ijebu garri that had been flown in specially for me, to satisfy my mad pregnancy cravings. I still chuckle at the visions of his disapproving, scowling face…lol.
In another instance, he was giving me the silent treatment after i had annoyed him, and tired of being ignored, i decided to have a wee and go to bed. When i went to wee, i noticed spotting and ran out to tell him. The way he jumped up from his seat like he had sat on needle was hilarious…lol!!! He went straight into Rambo mode examining me and carrying me to bed with strict instructions not to move an inch and to have him get anything i needed; Hang on was this not the same person “keeping malice” with me earlier on???!!! *hiss* There are more hilarious instances, but i’ve already written an epistle on your page- forgive me? LOL.
As for your ransome demand…well it’s kinda sensible…lol!!!
A big congrats to the lovely Busola and hubby as well.
Happy new year in advance babes. xx
Afrobabe: LOL. I see. Well, I have to admit that the new profile certainly presents a good girl imagine or at least a not-so-bad-girl image. We go see how you dey sha…! LOL. Happy New Year, darling.
Funms: LOL. See your mouth. You too like good thing ooo. So you too, you'll be craving black berries, range rovers and all??? Well, carry on, love!! Nothing do you.
Standtall: I go surprise una one day ooo. I will certainly get pregnant while I'm pregnant. Just wait & see! Yeah, it's unfortunate that the baby refused to wait till January 14th to com out, but oh well. I guess everyone can't be great. lol.
Rethots: 8 children?? Well, if you're capable, then I am equal to the task. The number has always been five ooo, but I am a very considerate person, so if eight is your number, then please, by all means, let's get the ball rolling. You've always thought giving birth in rapid succession is possible too? My type of guy!!! We need 2 totally get married – like right now!! And I will consult all the major dictionary peeps (Oxford, Webster, etc) and make sure they add 'fetusnapping' into their 2009 edition.
The Boob Sistas: Awwww. That is sooo sweet!!! He shoulda continued the malice now. lol. He no fit again? I cannot believe you made him drive to the airport to bring back garri & moimoi, but I am totally diggin your style!!! I will remember to do that when I'm pregnant. lol. You're welcome to write your epistle any time anywhere anyhow. I no mind @ all. LOL.
vera i love u!!!!!!!! LMAO!
i had to send post to my mother! She said u’ll make an interestin mother:p
Happy new year!
hey
i just want to say that you will find your true love, so hang on sis.
and second you are whimsical and funny
don’t ask, i don’t know what that means.’
just that i loved your blog. when you release your novel
inform me, i’ll buy.
hope to experience one soon
you are privileged
Mz Dee: LOL!! Tell your mom to define “interesting.” Something tells me she means “crazy” lol! Hahaha. And you know I love you too!!
Tisha: Awww, thanks love. Keep me in your prayers; I hope to finish the book ASAP. And of course, I will tell you as soon as I’m done.