No matter how hard I try not to laugh, I feel like there is always something funny going on in my life. Somehow, I find myself surrounded by people that say and do funny things – even when they don’t mean to. Apart from my dad, only one other man has made me laugh till I have tears in my eyes. But today’s post is about my dad.
My mother enjoys baking. She’s one of those women who love baking cakes, frying chin-chins, bons, and puff-puff, and baking meat-pies. I, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about baking and all that ish (but I do love eating them all, of course). Why suffer to bake stuff when I can just buy them?
But I think my dislike/disinterest in baking and frying snacks is my dad’s fault. Yes, dad’s fault. It all happened several years ago in Nigeria. I was about 12 or 13. I was curious about baking a cake – even though I had no recipe whatsoever. I pretty much knew or thought I knew everything that went into the cake (flour, eggs, milk, sugar, butter, nutmeg, can’t remember what else), but I didn’t know in what particular order it was supposed to go in. Did it matter? Anyway, mom won’t let me use her oven. She did not want me to waste her gas.
So what did I do? After mixing my cake, I poured it into a metal bowl, and then, I placed the metal bowl in a boiling pot of hot water. It was kind of like making moi moi. I don’t know if that cake still qualifies as having been baked. Maybe it was cooked. Or boiled. Anything but baked. It was not baked.
Where does dad come in? Well, dad was my boyfriend, you know. I used to pet him like he was my man or something. I used to clip his nails, clean out his ear wax, and wash his clothes. Whenever he fell asleep on the couch, I was there to put a pillow under his head and a blanket over his body. Dad said I would make a great wife. [Hey, his words not mine.. but I don’t disagree, of course. Hehe]. So that day, I could not wait to have my boyfriend (dad) taste my cake – a cake I loved by the way.
Dad sat at the table, and I served him a psychedelic slice of cooked cake. Mom, my cousin Nachi, the help Ngozi, and I were all gathered around dad, waiting for his judgment. It was as if my heart was in my hands. I could not wait to hear the verdict. Dad took a bite, churned, swallowed, took another bite, churned, and swallowed again.
Then while still holding the cake in his hand, he said, “This is nothing but akpu and sugar…” After which the entire family – except me – fell out laughing.
…And there, my friends, is the reason why I don’t bake! Yes, that’s my story, and yes, I am sticking to it!
you sef… you're so silly
i have this cake that i make… if you're nice.. might send you the secret recipe… we'll see…
have a great weekend… call in to TERC!
so you never watched mama make it?
you remind me of the babe that boiled flour to make amala…..lol
can i have some akpusugar cake?
you sef be mad woman lol. inside boiling water ke?
Boiled cake..hahahahaha! Vera oooo!
LMAAOOOOOOO!!!broiled cake!!!!!!
LWKM…boiled cake!
ur dad even topped it by saying it is akpu nd sugar!
looooooooool….i have always wanted to learn how to bak too o…i shuld look into learning it!
Vera hey…The E-sermon is finally ready and has been uploaded on my blog, go nd be blessed!!
You boiled a cake? Wow!
hahaha this is akpu and sugar, too funny. he was trying to be honest though..
LOL. It reminds me of my own father's verdict on my baking skills and I quote: it tastes something that would squeeze your windpipe.
Fathers. You gotta love 'em.
I am the go to for bakery and all that ish in my house. Have turned out some akpu and sugar in my time though, LOL
Haahaa!!! My dad on the otherhand will eat it and tell you it was the best thing he ever ate but if someone else made it, he will not hold his tongue…lol
Awwww… How cute :D. I don't have any cute stories, i just can't bake to save my life.
*Thanks for bringing a smile to my face on this glooomy day, Vera. Thanks. 🙂
Cake and Akpu shouldn't be in the same sentence.
I am going to make this my facebook status: Vera boiled cake!
You berra beg me now.
Lol!
Diamond: You're not serious @ all!!! Which kin shakara be this one na?? Well, send me the recipe … please??? Hehe.
Ibiluv: How dare you insult my cake?!?!?! You compared me to a person who boiled flour to make amala?? LOL. And to make matters worse, you even called it akpusugar cake!
Tayne Ment: My dear, na condition make crayfish bend na…!! E no be my fault. I had to do what I had to do.
Buttercup: You don't understand!!! It wasn't my fault! LOL.
Tinu: All these names y'll are giving my cake, I don't like it oo! Which one is broiled cake now?
Gee: I think I have lost all interest to learn how to bake. Or maybe not.. I dunno. I'll look into it.
Luscious Ron: Attorney, it wasn't my fault na!! Can you blame me? Dem no gree me use gas oven.
looooool…akpu? eally? loool!
hehehe you should divorce your boyfriend!… lol…poor you.. I hate those times when everyone is laughing and at me…. hmmph! lol
I made tomato sauce for my dad at maybe 9 and loool…that was raw tomatoes and salt but he lied that it was nice..heheheheh…ewww… It's nickelodeon's fault… tomato sauce ko??
x!
lol,lol…dat was almost some moin moin oh. stick to ur story jare, its a verastic cake, but we might need some kinda andrew liver salt after consumin it sha. Ve a blessed week and a fulfilled new mth