A little old, Black man came to clean the windows today. He did a wonderful job. The windows are now sparkling clean. Any moment now, a bird might flight right into one of them – or at least, that is how it usually happens on TV…. like the Windex commercial. But then again, with my recent clumsiness, I might be the one to walk right into it.
The little old man talked me to oblivion. I only heard about 15% of what he was saying. 50% of the time, I was not listening at all, and 35% of the time, I just couldn’t make out what he was saying. It might have something to do with him missing about half of his teeth. It also didn’t help that most of his speech was in Ebonics. Even when I was not giving him eye contact – something that should have told him I was neither listening nor interested – he still went on talking. I think he just needed someone to talk to. I know he said something about his brother who was in jail for 35 years before being released. I might be wrong, but I think he said his brother killed someone. Like I said, I might be wrong. Understanding the little old man was kinda hard. I also know he said something about him having been in an accident. And something about six thousand dollars. I know for a fact that the little, old man told me he was worth half a million. When I didn’t respond or react, he went on to add, “That’s five hundred thousand dollars.” Oh, what I could do with five hundred thousand dollars right now! 🙂
I barely responded to anything he said, but at a point, I was on the phone talking, so he must have detected my accent at that time. After the little, old man was done cleaning, and finally ready to leave, he figured he’d ask me of my nationality – even though he was pretty sure he knew already.
Little Old Man: You from Jamaica, right?
Me: No.
Little Old Man: But you from Africa, right? (This implies that he, like so many other people, think Jamaica is in Africa. Why? Cause we’re all Black?)
Me: Yes.
Little Old Man: So where you from in Africa?
Me: Nigeria.
Little Old Man: *Smiling a confident smile as someone who knew the exact location of Nigeria* Oh, I know Nigeria! That in North Africa. I come from the North too, but mines at North Carolina. They ain’t too far from one ‘nother though.
Most times, I’m ready for the most outrageous comments/questions about Africa. But on some days (like today), I am not quite prepared. So I could have told the Little Old Man that North Carolina was nowhere close to Africa, but I was just too tired. Besides, the opportunity cost of telling him was too high. You see, he was already at the door, his hand on the door handle, ready to leave. If I had told him that North America and Africa were not close, he would have taken his hand off the handle of the door, walked right back to me and begun another speech. That was too high a price to pay. I figured, “Well, he’s an old man. He’s probably lived most of his life thinking this way. Of what use is it to correct him now?”
Yes, it was selfish of me. But don’t blame me; I’m not as selfless as those from North Carolina.
First
SECOND!!! WHO wan try ME???
This is a record, for the first time ever, I am first to comment on Verastic, lemme do the dance….*dances victory dance*.
Infact there is no end to that old man’s Ignorance.
Which one is “Ebonics” again? **frantic search for dictionary**
He’s worth all that dough? Really? How about we lure him to wash your windows again, kill him and share the money? LMAO!!! Or maybe his drivel will kill us…
Yeahhhh!
Bronze!
4th!!!! Not bad @ all, now lemme go n read!!
Lol @ opportunity cost!!LOL!!
Americans can be so…. i’m searching for the politically correct word here… Ahh Ignorant.
But i don’t blame you for being selfish though if it was me, the old man might have walked through the window 😉
yea i feel you. its better you didn’t answer him. the guy was just looking for someone to talk to…
ain't america d country of d ignorant & dumb folks?(na my professor talk dat one)
Correcting him would have added an extra 45 minutes to your state of oblivion
Dont blame the guy. he’s prob’ly related to one-time Would-be Vice President.*wink*
LOL
Whats with ignorant black men who are ‘apparently’ worth a lot of money?! I got a taxi with a Jamaican guy (about 50ish) who told me he was worth £2.5m and had a ‘business proposition’ for me….go figure!!
The man asked me where I’m from (Nigeria) and then proceeded to tell me about his Ghanian friend….er….and?!
For a man worth millions, he sure knows his geography…America the great! haa….
oh
you guys arent getting it , its another format for yahoo, its happening all the time here so why not over there after all when they here you are from naija they think you’d be interested in dubious acts (long hiss)
North Carolina ko!, North africa ni!!! lmao
lol…. North Africa not far from North America…..
I have heard it all now… lol…
awe little old man was probably just lonely and needed someone to talk to.. next time be nicer oh… 🙂
Much Love
LMAO Aewee, oyibo will not kill me.
Which one is north africa in north carolina??
As the money plenty reach he is still cleaning window… mschewww.
This is a perfect case of dementia.
Hillarious… Got into a cab today and the ancient white man was asking me were I came from – TOld him Nigeria and he proceeded to talk about Egypt..
lol@ I know Nigeria.. Thats in NOrth”.
lol…nigeria in north africa? north africa not far 4rm north carolina? he must b really old…
4 some1 who’s worth half a mil, y’s he still washing windows?
lol @ Danny; Nigeria vs Egypt?
you for tell am so he wont die ignorant!!!!!!!!!
im from north dakota. that makes all three of us neighbours. Yes?
I am trying to not LOL in class!! ewo!!!
which one do i want to address? *smh*
Hahahaha! I hate it when people mumble forever, on and on… I just laugh a whole lot and pretend to understand what they said!..lol
x!
Welcome to America. Bunch of ignorant f…..
30+: Congrats on being first oo. Unfortunately, we're currently not giving away any prices. Please come back tomorrow. LOL.
Naughty Eyes: Nobody wan try you o.. Dem dey crase?
30+: I'd have to see you doing the victory dance to understand it. How bout a video? As 4 the old man… *sigh*
Naughty: Ebonics is Black people's English. It's like how we (Naija folks) have pidgin. As 4 that your plan of luring the man here, uhm… yeah, his drivel will certainly kill us b4 we kill him.
Dante: Bronze na something o. Congra!
Shona: Congrats on being 4th. Yeah, babe, the opportunity cost is wayyyy too high.
Cerberus: So that's the politically correct word you came up with? LOL! My dear, the thing tire me o.
BSNC: Yeah, girl… I know. He was definitely just looking for someone to talk to.
Jayla: Tell me about it! 45 mins is a very long time to be listening to that man talk. Meanwhile, do you notice that most times the ignorant Americans are Black? So sad.
She: LOL. In fact ehn, if no be say the man black too much, I bin dey think say na him cousin be that o
Sting: LOL to you too. Where you been, babe?
Lolo Bloggs: They usually think that all Africans know each other. So if you're Nigerian, you must know the Ghanaian, the Ethiopian, the Cameroonian, the Senegalese and all the other Africans. Na so we bin dey know ourselves because Africa is an avenue with face-me-I-face-you.
Chayoma: LOL! Tell me about it. His geography is kpocha kpocha. Unbeatable.
Optimistic Alyzz: LOL! I don't know ooo. This little old man barely had teeth. People like him no dey involve for yahoo yahoo. LOL.
Remi United: Babe, I was nice oo! I didn't shoo him away or anything. I was all ears (maybe not all the time). I know he just wanted someone to talk to. Twas obvious. I'm glad I made his day – I guess. LOL @ having heard it all.
Phoenix: I no go lie o! I thought he might have dementia of some sort (or delusions of grandeur, at least), but who am I to judge? I figured maybe he was one of those multi millionaires that leave below his means. U know now! Oh, well. But that North Africa & North Carolina stuff, e get as e dey do my body. LOL.
Danny Bagucci: LOL! Amazing, ain't it? Hahahaha. All they know is Africa. Once you mention a country in Africa (or a country they think is in Africa, like Jamaica), they'll start talking rubbish.
Sweet Nothin: Yes oooo! He was very confident too. As per people that know geography
Just Doyin: The poor man just didn't know. The only that is worse than not knowing is not knowing that you don't know.
Ibiluv: For where? And subject myself to more minutes (maybe an hour) of talking? No ooo. His ignorance will not affect the size of his coffin, so make him carry go.
Chief: LOL. Yes, indeed!!! You might even know this old man I'm referring to sef.
Reverence: LOL. You're welcome to address anyone…. unless you have the same effect I had: confusion. In that case, just continue shaking your head.
Bob-Ij: I know. Annoying thing is that they always pick a day you're not in the mood.
Tigeress: Hehehe. I no know wetin that 'f' stand for oo!
Madam!
Owing to the fact sey we see sey you don come again,we don decided to comment on you blog.
We come decided to post awa comment bit by bit,so here im goes:
1. The logic for this post na helele (pls read this with an english or american accent).The fusion of opportunity cost with the bavard intelligentless * e don lost it now! * old man was really cool.
2.If you should by any means just shry am waka through window break your head! Abeg! *accented* leave your brain *at least the parts necessary for blogging* and fingers intact.Do not shry to breach or else face legal and spiritual action.(maybe hopsital too) because I will not be persuaded forcibly by one kind accident to get you a high tech speech controlled blogging tool,FOR WETIN NA!
3.I woke up to read this blog and am feeling very nice,your writing na helele.Vera! for this blog ville eh! if you see person wey won shry you make you just report am gie me,I go team up withfine boy agbero eh and we go forget bottle for their left yansh,honestly
Ciao girl or woman!
P.S
why so many people dey come post for so early in the morning? una no get work to do like me?
lol @ ‘opportunity cost’…I woulda done the same luv…i dont suffer fools
lols…gotta love these old folks
North Carolina is close to Nigeria …like really?
Hope u told the little old man to check his map. LOL
lol
so many americans are unfortunately very uneducated on geography and other matters concerning the world OUTSIDE of the US. Nevertheless, I’d say the mans just an old, talkative man looking for company, he also sounded a little like a typical old person who forget things etc..so just id let him be like u lol. If he was really awake, with teeth and all I’d educate him 😉
Very funny!!..Such ignorance!, na wa oh!..North Carolina in Africa?..odikwa very very risky..
Seriously, Vera i’m sure if you ask “ibo people” 😉 they’d be able to confirm the man’s theory…
You know how “you people” always know how to connect these things e.g Michael Jackson is from Imo state, Barrack Obama is from Nnewi etc etc
LMAO
LAST!!
Seems everyone got here b4 me! lol
Mad old man! North Carolina not far from Naij??!!
Someone needs to take $10 from that his $500 thousand dollars and buy him an atlas!
North Carolina is not far from North Africa. Original and brilliant, weirdly enough.
LOL…who told him North Carolina was close to Northern Nigeria?
LOLLL…I’ve heard all sorts in this life…
haha! what a joke! geography is really lacking in this country. where is madam Palin?
Peeps like that just make me weak. They talk a whole load of shit but they don’t stop to process any information cos they are too busy yarning dust. Good thing u didn’t educate him joo.. Let him die blissfully in his ignorance.
NE, since when did u start coming 2nd on Vera’s post? I fear for you.
Why isn’t North Africa a stone throw from North Carolina…Imagine if we had to do states and capital,
Lagos – Columbia
Ogun – Raleigh
Osun – Albany…
-even Zamfara – Bismarck!!!
And then Obama’s right hand man will be our very own retarded Yaddy!!!!
rotflmfao!!!
LOL
Ignorant people… worst part of it is that he is black as well!! I was wondering why I looked like my neighbour from North Dakota… We are all from the North!! Hmm we just might be related.lol
lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lmaooooooooooooo!!
awww i think he’s quite an adorable old man!! haha i’m quite weird too
😛
LOL……………….abeg Vera,
North Carolina and North Africa ‘aint too far from one another’?
OMG! Nigeria is in North Africa?
The Old man would be the next slum dog millionaire………
vera carry go…i totally agree with the logic behind what u did…
let him carry his wahala and go
lol
abeg, na wetin concern north africa, concern north corolina, concern nigeria? ha. it’s well.
dis kain gist can be entertaining if u r completely jobless. otherwise, plain nuisance. i never learnt how to indulge such people. d extent of my social skills no reach dat side.
how u dey sef? welcome back.
One more thing, I just started a new blog, BAMBINA (http://idreamtofu.blogspot.com) It’s more like a baby/mom blog & I eagerly need contributors. So, if you have any story u want to share or know anyone who does, please send me a mail. Details are at d blog: Thanks a bunch.
W.O.W.!
He probably would never have left if you had told him…
G-FUNC: LOL!! Brother mi, thank you oh. Now that I know I have you on my side ehn (as my defense team), na so so trouble I go dey go dey find. U know now! LOL. Thank you, G-FUNC. I'm very, very honored. I will endeavor to keep my brain and fingers in tact. I wouldn't wanna disappoint you.
Scribble Me Free: LOL @ not suffering fools. You woulda done the same ehn??? We thank God then.
Joicee: Yeah. Like really. lol. Who woulda thunk it?
Standtall: I didn't ooO! I just couldn't even be bothered sef. I didn't know where to start explaining to this man that he couldn't be more wrong. I figured I'd just let him be.
Adaeze: Yeah, he was definitely very talkative. But like you said, he just needed company. He just wanted to talk to someone – whether he was making sense or not.
Beulah: Yes, indeed. Odi very risky. Person fit enter wrong plane oo. LOL. Then you'll be wondering why it's taking so long to get to North Carolina.
Fluffy Cute Thing: Bia, respect yourself ooo! It's not our fault that we have so many "imporant" people. You know Forrest Whitaker & Judge Hatchet are Igbo too, right? LOL. Look @ your mouth like "you people." R u not one of "them?" Babe, I dey gbadun this your hand wey you display 4 profile o.
Confessions of a London Gal: LOL! Hahahaha. The poor man didn't know betta.
Rosie: Hehehe. My sentiments, exactly.
Jaycee: My dear, I don't know who told him that oh. But I couldn't be bothered enough to find out. I was just laughing my head off.
Omo Oba: I don't know where Palin is ooo. That woman that thought Africa is just a country. At least the poor old man is old (and probably not even educated). What's Palin's excuse?
Neffie: LOL!!! You be mean chic oo! He should die blissfully in his ignorance. LOL. Well, ignorance is bliss sha…
Woomie: LOL. Na him be say world don reach end na. Hahahaha. I can only imagine what would happen. And why you dey fear for Naughty Eyes? Leave him alone o!
Penelope: Yeah, he's adorable alright. 🙂
Olufunke: I would have been better if he's only mistake was saying Naija was in North Africa. But to now say we were close to North Carolina. Hehehehehe. That one pass my power.
Aloted: Thank you oh, Sister Aloted. It was just too much for me to figure out abeg. I couldn't start educating him.
FFF: You social skills no reach that level ehn? Hahaha. Wetin man pikin go do now? LOL. I'll go check out your new blog. Mom/baby, huh? Hmmm. Wait oh; r u preggers?
Mimi: Yeah. W. O. W
Afrobabe: I know my dear. That is why I just couldn't be bothered. I figured… what da heck, I'll let him be.
Wow..these ignorant people wont be the death of me!
Ignorance is a disease.
Meet the cure, GOOGLE!