I don’t know what came over me on Sunday, but I was feeling unusually sexy when I woke up that morning. For church, I wore my tightest pencil skirt, a grey skirt. And I matched it up with a black three-quarter sleeve shirt. I was looking hot, if I do say so myself. Although compliments were not the reason I wore this outfit, it did, naturally, feel pretty darn good when I received tons of compliments, even from those in church.
After church, I went for a get-together at an aunt’s house, a gorgeous lady from Cameroon. I call her Mom 2.0. I was there until called and said he was on his way to my house. I left Mom 2.0’s house, promising to return, and went back home to meet and his friend. I stuffed them with pounded yam and bitterleaf soup. We watched a Ghanaian movie [Kiss Me If You Can]. I don’t know what the title had to do with the movie, but it did have a lot of sex, all of which and his friend enjoyed — of course.
After and his friend left, I was going to change into something more comfortable, something that didn’t feel like a second skin. However, it was already past 9pm, so I decided to just rush over to Mom 2.0’s house. I walked in there majestically — because, well, I was feeling too hot to be handled. I had my silver four-inch heels on, and I just couldn’t be stopped. I sat down for a while, and then, I went to help myself with a glass of apple juice. It was while I was getting my apple juice that it happened.
Mom 2.0 came up behind me and asked, “Vera, what’s that behind you?”
When I realized what it was, my heart sank. So, the zipper of my very tight pencil skirt had given way and exposed my butt cheeks which had a black lace thong buried between them. I tell you, you could have knocked me over with a feather. So many thoughts ran through my mind:
What I Know:
(i) My zipper did not pop in church
(ii) My zipper did not pop as soon as I got home
What I Don’t Know:
(i) When did this happen?
(ii) How long did I walk around with my ass exposed?
(iii) Did I come into Mom 2.0’s house with my ass exposed?
(iv) Did all the guests at the party take a peek at my verastic bum?
(v) Did see my butt cheeks and not tell me?
(vi) Worse, did friend see my butt cheeks?
(vii) All those smiles I got at Mom 2.0’s house, was it because the people were being friendly, or was it because of what I had – or did not have – behind me?
What I Hope:
(i) My zipper was in tact while and his friend were at my house.
(ii) When I entered Mom 2.0’s house, my zipper was still in tact.
(iii) When I sat down at Mom 2.0’s house, my zipper popped.
(iv) When I stood up from the chair, my shirt covered my exposed butt cheeks and Mom 2.0 was the only one who saw them.
What I Fear:
(i) My zipper popped at my house, and and his friend were too shy to say anything.
(ii) I walked into Mom 2.0’s house with my ass literally exposed.
(iii) Everyone at Mom 2.0’s house got a sneak peek of what lies beneath (and they didn’t have to pay for it!).
(iv) I’ll never know the truth.
For the rest of the evening at Mom 2.0’s house, I tied a wrapper around my waist. I went from “hot babe” to “who is that village girl with the wrapper?” Way to end a totally sexy day.
What?… I see my name so many times. Now let me go read well well
Wow…I don't know whether to ROTFLMAO or feel embarrassed for u….Wish I was there…I would have noticed and told u 😉
Rest your heart my sister… We didn't see your butt-cheeks. I didn't anyways… if my friend did, he def didn't tell me. Are you sure u weren't trying to pull a "Kiss Me If You Can" move…lol.
…and why did u have to call me out…we all enjoyed the sex scenes in the movie.
lmao. The ass was trying to say 'kiss me if you can' wish someone had taken a picture so we can all see those smooth cheeks.
@Yenoh, dnt rush to conclusions about cheeks being smooth…Just kidding! Kpele Vera. That's the price tag for dressing in tight-fitted wears. Sometimes, they just give way.
@ Vera..take ya time o!! You can't be accusing my honey bug Aribabs like that o! lol…Since honeybug has said no, let's hope it popped in Mum 2.0's place?
poor ass, being seen outside with a string through it
like Yenoh said, if your ass was smooth then you have nothing to worry about, at least our sexy black lace thongs paid off.LOL
stop being embarrased, we, your viewers, were embarrased enough for you
OH BOY! OH NOO!!!!!
my regret of cos is i didnt get to see this with my own korokoro eyes! why are there no pictures anyway? that way we can judge if it was really bad or not…..
lol. sorry o!
What a way to end the day as a hot babe to a village girl. Anyways dont over flog yourself, it has happened already. There is nothing you can do about it.
I have bitten my lip to stop laughing. OK no, have to laugh. Sorry!
No one saw jo. If they had they would have fainted from the verastic fabulousness of the bum cheeks.
Lol Vera ndo! Thankfully Aribaba saw nothing so we hope it was simply when you sat down at the aunt's house. Kpele!
lOLOLOL…i laff tire. Pele dear
You almost had me rolling on the floor. That was hilarious.
Well, you can put your mind to rest – Aribabs said he didn't see dem cheeks. Dunno about all the party pple though 🙂
Bahahahahaha! Aww sowwy Verastic!..:( LOL @ Aribaba…
I'm ill again..
But I swear, your post had me smiling( cause that's all I have the strength for)
Wo!!! Had so much fun and despite the fact that you had your arse cheeks bare to the world doesn't have me feeling sorry for ya! Lol..
KAI, You no go kill me!
LOLLLLLL…
hahahaha
I bet you enjoyed the sex scenes…smh…naughty girl like you. @Aribaba no mind am o…we know how sista Vera rolls. hahahaha at the ass cheeks…hahaha…I hope someone snapped a picture…that would cost a whole lotta money…hmmmm…
Lol! This is soo typical of you Vera! Love it!
vera u better run to youtube you wont believe what i just saw probably a video…"at the party take a peek at my verastic bum?"
ha ha ha pele i want to believe the zipper gave way on ur way to get the drink saw only mom 2.0 saw it
I have the picture!
ahahahahaha…
Aribaba: Yes, go and read. I'm waiting for you.
Ehi_remen: Hahaha. Should I be grateful for your thoughtfulness now? Thanks, honey. Too bad you weren't there to notice *rolling eyes*
Aribaba: LOL. See your mouth. Me, trying to pull a Kiss Me If You Can move ehn? I don't blame you. You need to put your friend on a lie detector, let's find out the truth. Per the movie, how dare you say I enjoyed it, too? I don't enjoy such filth! *adjusts halo*
Yenoh: So, the embarrassment I am feeling right now is not enough ehn? You wish someone woulda taken a picture? LOL. Not nice!
Kenn-Knotty: A very, very high price tag, if I might say. Chei. Per the smoothness of the cheeks, if you wanna see a picture, just say so jare! *sticking tongue out*
The Experiences Of An Achiever: LOL! Hahaha. Biko, forgive me oh. Who am I to be accusing your honey bug. You and your honey bug should not provoke me oh! Ehen, I, too, do hope that my skirt gave way in Mom 2.0's house. Kai.
Baroque: Bia, are you tryna make me feel better or worse? The smoothness of the butt cheeks has nothing to do with the embarrassment ooo. Maybe I'd have felt better if I wasn't wearing a thong #sigh
Omotee: In short, I have nothing to say to you. So, your only regret is that you did not witness my wardrobe malfunction ehn? You'll see what I'll do to you.
Evee: I guess so. My biggest fear and worry is that I'll never know the truth. I mean, am I supposed to gather all the guest from Mom 2.0's house and ask them if they saw my butt cheeks?
Caramel D: In short, you're very correct! They would have definitely fainted from the fabulousness. Ah, ah! This is too much for mortal eyes to see and not perish. You're right. LOL.
EDJ: Yes, I'm thankful that Aribaba saw nothing, although it wouldn't have fazed me sef if he did. It's the other people I am worried about. LOL.
Beulah: I don't like this your haphazard 'Pele' oh! Ah ah. You're telling me pele, and you're laughing at the same time. Hmmph!
3ffi: Continue to laugh oh. Really, those party people are the ones that I am most concerned about. Could they have seen my special cheeks? #sigh
Ms. O: Don't mind Aribaba. He's tryna kobalize me sef, saying we all enjoyed the sex scenes. Him and who?? *readjusts halo*
2Cute4U: You're sick ehn? Instead of you to be sympathizing with me, you're busy laughing. LOL. It's not fair oooo! Okay. Ka Chineke mezi okwu
Jaycee: I can't believe you. You're laughing, too?! *SMH*
Temite: I am shocked at you!! I am hurt and disappointed!!! You think Aribaba and I are the same??? Mba nu! Just because we're family does not mean we're alike oh. He's bad and I'm well —- good. Ask him now, throughout all the sex scenes, I left the living. Couldn't stand the nastiness!! *readjusts halo again* Per the picture, thanks, but no thanks! LOL.
Homie GFUNK: Thanks, boo!! Glad you love it. I don't know how it is that I get caught up in these situations. LOL.
Yomitunde: I rebuke you!! No such video exists. Don't give me a coronary oh. And just like you, I, too, wanna believe that no one apart from Mom 2.0 saw my verastic butt cheeks.
Baroka: See your mouth. That's the kind of picture you'll claim to have *rolling eyes*
Le Penseuse: Laugh it up! Just laugh it up. LOL.
lmao….don't worry, hopefully, it popped while you were in mum 2.0's house.hopefully.
Way too funny, lol.
I think it popped when you sat down with that apple juice…cuz breeze would surely have been felt on the fabulosity
I couldn't help laughing though…kpele
asses dat pop skirts
that a whole load of ass……….
Looool! Would like to say sorry…but that would be lying
Leggy: My dear, that is the key word – "hopefully" LOL
JustJoxy: So, you too, you joined them to laugh at my expense? Okay oh. I'll remember this when it's my turn to laugh at you oh.
Tega: That is what Mom 2.0 kept saying oh. She said I would have felt the breeze if it had happened earlier. I sure hope you're both right.
Ibiluv: You see, this is why I just love you. LOL. Only you will ignore the problem of my butt cheeks being exposed and focus instead on the size of the butt cheeks that cause this problem. I do love you, Ibiluv 🙂 lol
Doug: You know what??? Pocket your sorry! I don't even need it sef! #HISS. You'll see what I'll do to you.
lwkmd! don't be bothered, just consider it your one good deed for that day. lol lol!
Vera, don't mind all of them laffing at ur utter awesomeness getting some cool breeze in public – wicked, i say..me, am not laffing at you..see, am all sympathetic and not trying to imagine your face when MOM 2.0 pointed out that the bum cheeks were all out and with a peek of lacy black thong..
not laffing, serious..u believe me, don't you?
What you don't know – did not happen. That's what I tell myself. Don't obsess about it. After all, if your ass is as fabulous as you say, then you have no qualms with a little wardrobe malfunction.
Soooo… Vera…. how come u have that movie in your house?… It's not like u were surprised… The name sef gave it away.
Funkola: LOL @ one good deed. Something tells me that the Christian community might not feel the same way about that.
His Treasure: Hmmph! This is a little too hard for me to believe. You're not laughing en kwa? So, why are you imaging what my face looked like when Mom 2.0 broke the news to me? Hmmph! I've got my eyes on you.
LucidLilith: Bia, did I mention in this post that my ass is fabulous?? **Vera thinks long and hard** Oh, well. LOL. But I do love your approach, however: What I don't know did not happen. ***Vera exists feeling very empowered***
Aribaba: Look, Aribaba! Stop finding my trouble oh. The fact is, I haven't got a clue how that movie got into my house. I don't associate with such movies! *adjusts halo again*
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Thanks, See Ya Around
LOL…ROTFL…LOL again!!!
Sorry dear, I feel embarrassed for u, but this is so funny…from hot chic to village babe, all in d space of 24 hours…LOL!
hehehhehehehehhe…I dont even want to be in ur shoes hon…
What i'm doing: *HAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHA*
what i'm trying to say: Ewooo ndo!
How i finally end up: *Rolling on the floor, clutching my sides, tears coming down the sides of my eyes…sides aching beeeeehd!*