Does anyone actually listen to all the instructions they give on the plane? I mean all that supposedly good stuff about emergencies and how to exit in the event of what…. a crash???? I don’t listen. While I was away on vacation – yes, the one I didn’t mention…hehe – the crew members gave us all these instructions about how to pull down the oxygen mask and where the exit door was. Abeg!
As a proper Naija girl, I was busy praying that the weather and plane should be perfect, and that God should pilot the plane safely back to Baltimore. We will not meet any birds along the sky that will make our plane to plummet downward into any river – Hudson or not – because frankly, I cannot swim to save my life. Although, of course, if I had to pick one, I’d rather crash on water (than on land). And if any birds were to come close to our plane, may holy ghost fire consume them and send them into the abyss. Or the bottomless pit – whichever one is closer and more permanent.
Soooo I went on a much needed vacation to a place where the sun shines and keeps its inhabitants warm. It was very different from Maryland where it was 25°F the morning I left. I was treated like royalty, I tell you. I ate some good food the whole time I was there; it kinda makes me feel like going back. I visited alligators and even carried a baby one. Maybe I should have adopted it and brought it back to my house. That should be enough to keep Funmie away from my house for a while. The alligators in this picture are very real, and no, that is not the size of the one I carried. Abeg ooo!
I had the fabulousest time of my life! I was served strawberries & apples every morning – not the kind that was cut by some woman wearing latex gloves. These strawberries & apples were washed and cut by the bestest hands ever. Just look @ them…. *batting eye lashes*
For the first time, I went kayaking. My partner and I almost fell into the water, and of course, it was all his fault. He might beg to differ, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. We kayaked to the middle of the ocean/beach; the water was so beautiful, and I could not help think, “Chineke God of heaven above… if I fall inside this ocean, what will become of me? I cannot swim. I don’t even know if I can float. Hopefully, this life jacket I’m wearing is in good working condition. But what if there are alligators in here? Or worse, sharks and/or crocs? Oh, God! Please blind them. Let them not see me … or my bright blue life jacket.” As it came to pass, my dear readers, they did not spot me. I made it out alive and with all my limbs & appendages.
I had apple pie for the first time. It was warm and had cold creamy vanilla ice cream on top of it. Yummy. I ate oxtail pepper soup with mixed vegetables. Still can’t get it off my mind. I ate lasagna for the first time too. Try as I might to pick out the finely chopped onions, I just couldn’t find them. Me thinks it was a conspiracy against me to get me to eat onions. But it was surprisingly yummy. Yesterday, I found myself thinking about it. I saw the movie Madea Goes To Jail. Good stuff. Couldn’t stop laughing. Watched several episodes of the old British comedy, Mind Your Language. Too funny! My kind of comedy.
There were a few highlights: the dough I traveled with finally got kneaded. Had been wondering how and where to get that done. They do the best kneading over there, I tell ya. I had some French whispered into my left ear. Yeah…you could say I had a fantabulous time. 🙂
Soooo…. any idea who I went to see? Me neither. 🙂
I’ll be back on Tuesday. Have you voted for me? If not, do so asap HERE. And if you have not yet nominated me for all the categories in Category B, then please get to it HERE. (It ends by midnight today….so hurry!). See ya Tuesday!
P.S. I’m totally willing to give all the details about my vacation …. for the price of one Pour Femme by Bvlgari.
P.P.S. Per Temite’s request … if I win all the Category A categories I was nominated in, I will post a full picture of myself. Walahi talahi … so you berra start voting.
Pls God, Pls God!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSTTTTT!!!
I beat TEMITE today oh!!!
Glory haleluya!
Now i shall proceed to read!
So now that i have claimed the top 3 spots…. I can now comment!
I never pay attention to those instuctions jare, and i always make sure i’m not seated at those emergency exits abeg.
As your you, ko serious oh! U went on a vacay and didn’t tell us okwaya? Better come and do a proper post on this vacay and ur ‘partner’
As for this dough u mentioned, hmmmm, u didn’t say u were training to become a baker oh…. better come and decode sharpish or else……..
Feels so good to see my name as top 3, so i’ll just have one more go!
Mizchif: Dang!!! Congrats on, Nne. If I had the money, I’d really start giving gifts away to people who come first. LOL @ decoding. Nothing to decode oo! I don talk my own finish. Hehehehehehe.
MISCHIF – you are NOT serious!
NOnsense.
Vera – you and I needs to TALK!
i see u now even added pissures sef. U must've really had fun.
Vera, Vera, Vera…berra come and decode & download d koko sharpish!
P.s – i'm totally loving dis comment monopoly. I can't believe Temite is asleep.
kneaded dough….is that what I think it is or is it what it innocently looks like???
which position i dey sef?
why I dey always carry last..ibo boys no dey carry last! Do I have to stalk you vera?
Can i never be first?
*Sighs*
ehhhhhhh..ojoro..lol You want us to vote for you and you will post your photo..
Nah..not good enough. You have forgotten that some of us have your photos…so that is not motivating enough…try something else, biko oh?
Great to hear you went on the vacay you desperately needed..
But I’m curious about this french that was whispered in your ‘left ear’..
hmmmmmmmm left ear…. That’s a sign me dear!
lol @ Dante “biko oh”. So… you have inside information then, Dante..
vera scratch my back n i ll SCRUB urs………DEAL OR NO DEAL 🙂
LOL @ Chineke God of heaven above… if I fall inside this ocean, what will become of me? I cannot swim.
So u know you say u no fit swim na im u come dey go kayaking?
Err.. I agree with Roc.. Some french was whispered in your ear, might it be connected to your V-Day visitor? Tell us o!!!!!!
Hmm… Glad you’ve been catching fun. Bet you hid our wedding ring right? Good for you, I’m hiding mine over here too…
The main thing that trips me about this post is the part about your picture. Gotta go vote ASAP!
PS: Still expecting your question on medianemesis.blogspot.com. It’d make my day…
Started voting… Check out my predictions on:
thisismyp.blogspot.com
And despite what i said there, my people are still coming to see your people…
Temite: LOL. Honey, okay, when do you need us to talk? I dey kampe!
Mizchif: Yes, I can see you're enjoying the monopoly, but do unto others as you want others to do unto you. I don talk my own finish oo. Ehen, which koko you wan make I download??
Afrobabe: Afrobabe, Afrobabe, Afrobabe. You and this your naughty mind. Now, what are you thinking? I'm pretty sure it is not what I wrote. No dey misyarn ooo. lol
Dante: You're not last anymore. How bout that? LOL @ Igbo boys. I know one Igbo boy who was 26th out of 28 students or something like that. He was sha ahead of only two students. Imagine the likeness! That's almost last na… but ehm… you fit stalk me sha if you like. lol.
Confessions of a London Girl: LOL. Don't worry, honey…your day is fast approaching.
Dante: LOL. Oya, speak your mind na! Gini ki cho? Tell me now now lemme give it 2 u. You know I am equal to the task.
Roc Naija: Hahahaha. Pray, do tell…what is the sign? Would it have been different if it was in my right ear instead?
LG: Hehehe. Do you mean it literally or figuratively? Well, it doesn't even matter. DEAL, of course!
Danny Bagucci: I no know wetin carry me go inside ocean oo. I musto learn to swim this summer. This insult is too much 4 me. LOL @ the French & V-day visitor. Well, I dunno bout alll dat! You'd have to ask him yourself. Abi you want his email address?
Naughty Eyes: I'll go check it out. And it better be something I like oooo. If not, your people should stay away from my people. Yeppa! I forgot the question. Okay, I'll log off and think of one…then I'll come & ask. LOL @ hiding your wedding ring. Who said I was hiding mine? Speak 4 urself oo!
Vera do tell me about this kneaded dough…my ears are itching!
You sure had lots of fun…and abeg go learn to swim! lol
Glad you had fun. You carried an alligator, which kinda gurl are you?
I do listen to the plane instructions o cuz I hate flying but I like travelling
glad you had fun. first time having lasagna? u must be a picky eater.
alligator, sun shinning, did you go to florida?
U neva win election, u go vacation???
By the time u return, alligator go don chop all d small votes wey u get, walahi talahi!!!
hmmm this Vacation sounds very interesting. Verastic, who is romancing you like this!!! I am jealousing oooo!!!lol!Glad you had fun babe! of to vote….AGAIN!!!
Aligators ke?
Ah dats some mahd vacation o…im guessing it was spring break…
Im sure u wont want to kno wat i did for mine…terrible!
Im happy 4 u o…i wish I culd have some of these “tourists” travels!
lol…Y are u enticing us now…all these incentives to vote!!…lol…thank goodness you did not bring that alligator back. Don’t you watch all these pets gone wild?…good u had fun o!
hell NO
i draw the line at alligator and crocs
hell NO
ever since the hudson plane incident i have listened to the spiel
glad you had fun
but crocs and alli
hell NO
erm kneaded dough? ogini????? so if i send perfume, i’d get juicy details and i can write a post on it abi? off i go to macys then……..
After the last bird/plane crash,I kinda pay attention now O…..I need the nearest exit! Because if anything happen (In Jesus name, it should not O!) But incase it happens, I shall walk out on the wings of the plane,AMEN!
Why all this half gist?? Pscheww. Maybe if you stopped speaking in parables I would organise 1000 votes for you right now. That should put you over the top, no?
If you yarn too much, I will post your pic for you.
I’m glad you had fun on your vacation, it all makes sense now.
If only you had promised this pic thing before i voted…..,infact sef because of this i will go and create “419” profiles so that i can vote for you in ALL categories. lol
You just gasta win this.
P.S Dough…knead…?? I know my mind has a reserved suit in the gutter but that rings mischievous bells in my head.
VERa!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i HAVE VOTED O. Meanwhile if u do not put ur pix i go help u put am sha.
By force u must win.
walahi talahi you must ooo lol..
somborri is having fun with the anon valentine’s suprise dude. Wow Already, girl you are just toooooooo good (hehehe), tell me it aint so 🙂
I don’t like u anymore.. cos u re been so secretive. You know what henceforth if you are not going to give us the complete gist of ur escapades..Don’t even put it here or else we go sue u. Ahan han. Go away jo.
Write Freak: Y’ll are some weird and naughty people. The dough is nothing more than more. Okay, when I have time I’ll put up a picture of the dough – b4 and after it was kneaded
Standtall: LOL. I feel you, my sister. I wish there was some kinda fast way to travel that does not include leaving the ground. lol
Iwalewa: Yes, I am a picky eater 4 sure. But I’m getting better. Yesterday, for example, I tasted food from Sierra Leone. Wasn’t bad @ all.
Reverence: I might have. But then again, I mighta gone to other places too. 🙂
FBA: Hahaha. U don kolomental. Alligator to chop my fine votes? Dem no born the alligator well! I go cut that alligator open, go collect all my votes – which are not small by the way, thank u very much!
Ms O: LOL @ the person romancing me. Hehehe. Ehm… I dunno what/who you’re talking about. But if you send me my perfume, I might just know what/who you’re talking about.
Gee: It wasn’t Spring Break oo! It was just a good ol’ vacation. Yours was horrible?? Eyaa. LOL. I don’t start mine till tomorrow.
Bob IJ: That’s the only reason I didn’t bring the alligator back ooo! If not, I for bring one back, keep am for parlor. That way, Funmi will not step in again. Hehe.
Kafo: LOL!!! You’re a chicken. Why you dey fear? Alligators are your friends….until they bite you, of course. But they’re generally good peeps
Funms The Rebirth: Yes, once you send my perfume, I’ll give you all the details you want and yes, you can blog about it. Ehm… don’t buy a miniature perfume ooo! If not, I’ll give you miniature details. lol.
Estella: Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But God forbid that it happens. lol. I prefer the other prayer where God takes control and holy ghost fire consumes all the birds and/or bad weather
Sleek: LOL! Ehm, what exactly makes sense now??? Tell me! And I no dey speak for parable oo; I just want y’ll to pay me 4 the remaining gist, that’s all. LOL. Put a pic of me ke? U go wound oo!
Phoenix: You dey bad! I no dey yarn any nischievous thing ooo! Na simple dough (made of flour) I dey yarn. lol. Please, do go ahead and do that 419 profile. Like you said, I gasta win this. I gorra gorra win this.
Temmy Tayo: LOL! Thank u, darling. If I win all the categories, I will keep up with my promise and put my picture up. Why shall I shy?
Life of a Stranger: U don kolo finish. Did I say anything about the Valentine guy in this my post?? Did I??? No dey put words 4 my mouth o. LOL. Wait, did God tell you anything? LOL. Hahaha.
Spicey Tee: LOL. Hahaha. But I love you, darling. How can you not like me??? I LOVE YOU!!!! I will not go away! I will continue to love you.
***Vera singing*** And I am telling you… I’m not going. You’re the best woman I’ve ever known/There’s no way I can ever go/No no there’s no way/ No, no, no, no way/I’m living without u/I’m not living without you/ I don’t wanna be free/ I’m staying, I’m staying/ And you… and you/ You’re gonna love me../ You’re gonna love me…!!!
Okay, I’m done singing.
Lol. That’s why I dont understand why Yoruba’s can use thier so called “egbe or ofe” – that’s a power that makes you land in another place by you just disappearing and appearing there- to make us appear in far away place just like that
Sounds like you had fun
you had a lot of first-times’ during vacay, …first time eating lasagne,kayaking etc.. good stuff
Vera, I heard around the way that u went to see a not-so-tall (but he’ll do), dark, quite good looking guy. Hmmmmmmmmm. I will say no more. Any guy that will treat you to that kind of vacay gets my vote. Just tell me the color of your aso-ebi, now now.
You took a vacation without me? Weldone o!
I am glad you had so much fun but I am sooooooooo jealous.
Come back quick.
I will patiently wait till the winners are announce before I start haranguing you for the full gist. And you know you’ll have to tell cos you’ll have to win too!
I’m waiting here. One hand on my hip, tapping my feet!
Vera, your Pour Femme Bulgari is on the way… Just spill the beans. 🙂
And kayaking is fun! 😉
Standtall: LOL! Babe, I wish I could use that power oh. I surely don’t mind appearing and disappearing. I’ll never have to pay another plane ticket. Hehe. Dem go beg me to come and enter their plane.
Joicee: Oh yeah, I had a blast!! Twas very refreshing to try new stuff instead of the same regular ol’ stuff.
Rosie: Nice try. You couldn’t be further away from the truth. This reverse psychology you dey here no go work @ all @ all.
Luscious Ron: I’m back now. It’s sad. Y did it have to end so soon?? How far with all our law suits?? U know you’re my counsel, and I dey depend highly on you.
Enkay: Hehehehehe. This hand on your hip position, I no know how e dey do me oo! Abi na fight? LOL. Don’t worry, as long as I win ALL my categories, I will do what I promised: put up my picture. I didn’t promise to tell the full gist – unless you send my perfume, of course.
Ms Sula: Okay, love. Once I receive the payment, I will download the full gist 4 u.
Lol. Glad u had fun.